Penny9706's Wiki Page

Hi Penny;
You can use this in your blog if you like; I got it in an email. (I have some stuffy Christian friends who may not take lightly my blogging with such..ahem...risque ...storied...lol...

An elderly man in North Carolina had owned a large farm for several years.
 He had a large pond in the back, fixed up really nice, along with some
 picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond
 was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.

 One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't
 been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket
 to bring back some fruit.

 As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.
 When he came closer, he realized it was a bunch of young women
 skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and
 they all went to the deep end to shield themselves.

 One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"
 The old man frowned and replied, "I didn't come down here to watch you
 ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked".

Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm just here to feed the alligator."

Here's another one..just tell me if I am bugging you, or if you would like me to send it via email next time....you may share it again if you wish, but I am giving you the stories this way because someone already posted it on a blog.

ENJOY A GOOD LAUGH!!

 

This is a funny story  that I had in my email when I got home from work. I just had to share it with you.

 

The 'Middle Wife' by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher. I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second-grade classroom a few years back. When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students.. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.

 

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater. She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.' 'First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.' She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement. 'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning. 'My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.' Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall. 'And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!' This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much! 'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and ' breathe, breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of toys inside there.' Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another 'Middle Wife' comes along.

 

Now you have two choices..laugh and close this page or pass this along to someone else to spread the laughs. Live every day as if it is your LAST chance to make someone happy.

LOL too funny you can email me if you want to but I don't mind them being on here either....this Middle wife is the only one I could see though on this page but it looks like you posted 2???

NO, look at the link on my comment under this one ..it has to do with "masterstream"...just browse a bit further down.  Don't know you don't see it in your comment box.  It was queen peachy who blogged it, so you can see it at her blog as well.

If you hadn't seen this, I thought it may make you laugh, since you love this kind of joke!

http://masterstream.mindsay.com/

Yes I suppose that I should be queenorangey or something like that, but my heart and soul will always be in GA and I suppose I will always be a Ga peach.......lol    Oh just to let you know, my justpeachynaz mindsay account was an old one and I thought I had deleted it and now I am under queenpeachy@mindsay so I have added you as a friend.  Hope you like Mindsay as much as I do.  Teri