Joynoelle's Wiki Page

just dropped by to say "hi"..

How was your week Dear friend?

Is everything OK are you just very busy?
Haven't seen you post in a few days..

Everything is okay, and I'm busy. Busy beyond belief. I'm off to bed- that's how tired I am, lol. 

Sleep well.

Glad to hear you are OK.

This was how i was responding to your post when i realized I was drifting away from it and wanted to share these thoughts just with you.

I have been riding some fast flowing rivers here the the last couple days.
To stay secure it required constant concentration on remaining myself during the flow and not either giving in to who i wasn't to be like other people or doing what seemed most natural to catch hold of shore and run home.

Last night I went out with about 20 people from work. I was off for the day so was to meet people at the resturant/bar after they were done work. I went to the park first and did what I did most of the day which was watch the flooding river and ask myself was i capable of that happiness.
It is interesting wording to realize that as much as what I call friendship it is that i seek  security is also part of the deal. It is amazing how social situations feel like High School Dances to me. Church Presbytry meetings also felt the same way when i was in the church.

  I walked in to find 4 tables full of people and one empty seat at a table. the torture table. The cranky adults table. I would have walked out but I was seen so there was no escape. I also knew I would feel defeated. It is at times like this I would like a fake cell phone. I dont have any cell phone. I could get it to ring and fake a family emergency. So I sat through a miserable time and at least was some postove focus for the one decent guy. Him and I both stayed longer and let the cranks go home and then joined the younger workers.

I know this is very long but its therapeutic for me. Some of the younger workers were going to a bar and asked me to come with them. They said they liked a coffee drinker making humorous observations. (my true calling). I also knew from hand signals and rolling eyes that i was being asked to be big brother. This time people were having alot more fun and I am glad I had gone. It did make me feel a bit more secure.

Overall i gained. One worker I thought had decency to him showed some I could identify with. The people I thought were solid appeared more solid against the other examples. Most important the teenagers
still have some strengths that can be built on. When they left (they didn't go to the bar) They came over to the other table that Wayne  (the decent guy) and I were at and gave us hugs or shook our hands as they left.

In reality it was a simple evening for most people. For Wayne and I (both in similar emotional circumstances) it was a challenge we both were able to meet.


Ive done it again. Forgot I was not writing just you a letter. I will take this to wikidom.

I hope I didn';t disappoint you doing this.
I am even more excited about making the frends i have been making lately and that really is taking place.