Andieland's Wiki Page
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Yes, (((((((((((Andie)))))))))) finally! This could be a true miracle of men if they can just help me walk again.I so miss walking my dog, maybe I'll put some pics in today's blog, my English Mastiff isn't 2 yet so still growing alot, he sure is a good oy, but he's my assistant so I need to work more with him, ya know? I sure do love you hon have for a very long time, I'll for sure blog after surgery
Thanx so much for finding me... forgive me for being brief.
For you are going to need to embrace them now.
It is with the greatest of sadness, that we have given up our Shannon (the night hours of June 4th).
Some time has passed but each moment cannot seemingly yet find the next with any real degree of accuracy or clarity.
You will forgive the delay in the news... but, I know not of time and space.
Nor do I have the fortitude to dialogue in any meaningful detail.
Suffice to say... despite the optimism, we were never close to saving this child.
The illusion was for the children.
Her new heart (despite my watching other children die and fill up endless transplant lists) just never came.
God had other children to see to on this earth... not my Shannon.
God has seen better to re-unite Mother and Daughter instead.
You see?
There was certain method to his madness after all.
I swear... I mean, I swear I knew he was going to take one of my children on the heels of Astrid's death... I just knew it.
Some days, out of the blue... even before Shannon became ill... the prospect would turn me cold.
Astrid was NOT going to be alone for long... I knew it...
I even found myself trying to choose which daughter I would be willing to part with over another.
I held no illusions that I was seeing to my daughter's death... not her life.
Please, my spirit is going to be okay..
I am cold, empty, alone, dark and terribly frightened... but I am not angry.
Seeing to the process of my Shannon's death was the most important thing that I will ever do while in this world.
I will always be grateful for the opportunity to have the loss as an end to process... a delicate and elegant, loving journey.
If I had Shannon stolen away from me like Astrid was... I would not be quite so altruistic here.
Kendall and Shelby...
What do I say?
I just had them believing that everything was going to be alright... and it was.
By comparison, guiding the three girls through the grief of losing Mommy was easy compared to what lies before me.
Each blames me...
They have little faith in anything now... least of all me.
I am not going anywhere Andie... I will seek your spirit as you let me in from time to time...
but the next few weeks will be foreboding and problematic.
We'll connect when it will help me help the girls...
For now, I can't open another letter of condolence, cry through another phone call... I'm spent and arid.
Through me, you had always wished for the best for the girls... and I will always thank you for this.
Find me through my e-mail for now... and I will keep you apprised of our new life.
Have faith in me...
I am no stranger to this change and I will not fail here.
I am so sorry...
Now, in order not to evaporate, I haven re-opened a mindsay page... I so benefited from having this conduit to learn from myself and others after Astrid died... I thought that I would not deny myself this avenue here and now.
(I am finding you personally now... so that you don't feel like a stranger.
Such as life is... I am here... we are here.
Love Bob, Kendall and Shelby.
Hiya hon! No, she never even read it. This gal & I were extremely close for a very long time, our arguement was over Ving Rhames choice of dogs for guard dogs. I have an English Mastiff, & watched him gently get on the death truck, so I was & am very unhappy with vings stupidity. It only takes 4 bullets to stop 4 dogs, the idiot. Rotties would have been a much better choice, than a dog like mine, who needs contact with it's human more than anything in the world. So, the dogs all died because of his stupidity. You'd think that would be something we could talk about, but no, she just quit talking to me, & blocked me from being able to see her site. There is something she made for me in every single room in my house, including jewelry, so the reminder of the close friendship we had for so long is all around me, & I'll love her always, no matter how heartless it was of her to not just talk our feelings out. I mean years of love end over an argument over a dog? It's just nuts, doll, & makes no sense to me, but who knows what's wrong in here life now. last time I did talk to her, she had let her x stay with her (a crack addict), so I just hope she didn't get caught up in that, ya know? Guess I'll never know. Friendships mean a great deal to me, so obviously, her friendship was years of lip service,not true friendship, & I just handle it that way. At least I know you are a real friend, & we'll always be able to talk, Andie, you're very special to me. Love you, Kelley (QuellyQ)
Either way, I understand how you feel and I always wish you the best. My philosophy on friendship is simple, if you have never done me (or mine) wrong, you deserve nothing less from me.
