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* A Blonde's Year in Review *
January -
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February -
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....
Helllloooo!! !.......bottles won't fit in printer !!!
March -
Got really excited..... finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months..... box said "2-4 years!"
April -
Trapped on escalator for hours .... power went out!!!
May -
Tried to make Kool-Aid.... .wrong instructions. ...8 cups of
water won't fit into those little packets!!!
June -
Tried to go water skiing...... .couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July -
Lost breast stroke swimming competition. ....learned later,
the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!
August -
Got locked out of my car in rain storm..... car swamped because the soft-top was open.
September -
The capital of California is "C".....isn' t ???
October -
Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.
November -
Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days .. instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!
December -
Couldn't call 911 . "duh".....there' s no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!!!
January -
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February -
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....
Helllloooo!! !.......bottles won't fit in printer !!!
March -
Got really excited..... finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months..... box said "2-4 years!"
April -
Trapped on escalator for hours .... power went out!!!
May -
Tried to make Kool-Aid.... .wrong instructions. ...8 cups of
water won't fit into those little packets!!!
June -
Tried to go water skiing...... .couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July -
Lost breast stroke swimming competition. ....learned later,
the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!
August -
Got locked out of my car in rain storm..... car swamped because the soft-top was open.
September -
The capital of California is "C".....isn' t ???
October -
Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.
November -
Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days .. instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!
December -
Couldn't call 911 . "duh".....there' s no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!!!
THE BEST BLONDE JoKE OF THE YEAR - SO FAR...
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.
She opened it, then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house.
A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and again, opened it, slammed it back gain. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"
To which she replied, "There certainly is!"
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.
She opened it, then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house.
A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and again, opened it, slammed it back gain. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"
To which she replied, "There certainly is!"
Are you ready? This is a beauty...
"My stupid computer keeps saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL!"
"My stupid computer keeps saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL!"
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Three men - a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden and a Texan are all working together one day.
They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.
"I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes in total," says the Genie.
The Canadian says, "I am a farmer and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada."
POOF! With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was forever fertile for farming.
Osama was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Afghanistan, Palestine , Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Americans or Canadians can come in our precious land."
POOF! Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye, there was a huge wall around those countries.
The Texan says, "I am very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."
The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 5,000 feet high, 5oo feet thick and completely surrounds the country. Nothing can get in or out; it's virtually impenetrable. "
The Texan sits down, cracks a beer, smiles, and says, "Fill it with water."
~The Wal-Mart Cat~
A blonde was weed-whacking her yard and
accidentally cut the tail off her cat,
which was hiding in the grass.
She rushed her cat, along with the tail over
to WALMART.
Why WALMART???
...
...
...
...
...
Because, WALMART is the largest retailer in the world!!!
This could happen to you.
I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying:
"Hi, how are you?"
I'm not the type to start a conversation in the restroom but I don't know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassed,
"Doin' just fine!"
And the other person says:
"So what are you up to?"
What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say:
"Uhhh, I'm like you, just traveling!"
At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question.
"Can I come over?"
Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I tell them
"No..I'm a little busy right now!!!"
Then I hear the person say nervously...
"Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions."
I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying:
"Hi, how are you?"
I'm not the type to start a conversation in the restroom but I don't know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassed,
"Doin' just fine!"
And the other person says:
"So what are you up to?"
What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say:
"Uhhh, I'm like you, just traveling!"
At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question.
"Can I come over?"
Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I tell them
"No..I'm a little busy right now!!!"
Then I hear the person say nervously...
"Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions."
What Would YOU Do?? Master Card Wedding
You got to love this guy. This is a true story about a recent wedding that
took place at Clemson University. It made the local newspaper; even Jay
Leno mentioned it.
It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding, at the
reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the
crowd. He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long
distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank
the bride's family & to especially thank his new father-in-law for
providing such a lavish reception.
As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a
special gift just from him. So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair,
including the wedding party, were an envelope. He stressed that this was
his gift to everyone, & asked them to open their envelope.
Inside each manila envelope was an 8 x 10 glossy of his bride having sex
with his best friend, the best man. The groom had gotten suspicious of them
weeks earlier & had hired a private detective to tail them. After just
standing there, just watching the guests' reactions for a couple of
minutes, he turned to his best man & said, "F--- you!" Then he turned to
his bride & said, "F--- you!" Then he turned back to the dumb-founded crowd
& said, "I'm outta here." He had the marriage annulled first thing the
following morning.
While most people would have canceled the Wedding immediately after finding
out about the affair, this guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing
were wrong. His revenge--making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a
300+ guest wedding & reception, & best of all, trashing the bride's & his
best man's reputations in front of 300+ friends & family members.
This guy has balls the size of church bells. Do you think we might get a
Master (°Í°ÿÿÿÿlZb Card "PRICELESS" commercial out of this? Elegant wedding reception
for 300 family members & friends: $32,000... Wedding photographs
commemorating the Occasion: $3,000... Deluxe two week honeymoon
accommodations in Maui : $8,500... The look on everyone's face when they
see the 8x10 glossy of the bride humping his best man: Priceless... There
are some things money can't buy, for everything else there's MASTERCARD!
You got to love this guy. This is a true story about a recent wedding that
took place at Clemson University. It made the local newspaper; even Jay
Leno mentioned it.
It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding, at the
reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the
crowd. He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long
distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank
the bride's family & to especially thank his new father-in-law for
providing such a lavish reception.
As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a
special gift just from him. So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair,
including the wedding party, were an envelope. He stressed that this was
his gift to everyone, & asked them to open their envelope.
Inside each manila envelope was an 8 x 10 glossy of his bride having sex
with his best friend, the best man. The groom had gotten suspicious of them
weeks earlier & had hired a private detective to tail them. After just
standing there, just watching the guests' reactions for a couple of
minutes, he turned to his best man & said, "F--- you!" Then he turned to
his bride & said, "F--- you!" Then he turned back to the dumb-founded crowd
& said, "I'm outta here." He had the marriage annulled first thing the
following morning.
While most people would have canceled the Wedding immediately after finding
out about the affair, this guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing
were wrong. His revenge--making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a
300+ guest wedding & reception, & best of all, trashing the bride's & his
best man's reputations in front of 300+ friends & family members.
This guy has balls the size of church bells. Do you think we might get a
Master (°Í°ÿÿÿÿlZb Card "PRICELESS" commercial out of this? Elegant wedding reception
for 300 family members & friends: $32,000... Wedding photographs
commemorating the Occasion: $3,000... Deluxe two week honeymoon
accommodations in Maui : $8,500... The look on everyone's face when they
see the 8x10 glossy of the bride humping his best man: Priceless... There
are some things money can't buy, for everything else there's MASTERCARD!
I sent you a joke. It is from orangeyfrog@juno.com so it is okay to open
Ok I will look for it! Thank you!!
Haha that is a great one! Can I post that on Mindsay or will they delete it??
I believe you can post it! Go ahead and see!
i like your avitar is there anyway i could get that from you in a larger size?
thanks in advance
I was just checking out your blog absolutely hilarious. Thanks I needed a good laugh. 
Well thank you! Please stop and visit often!!
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