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“According to Le-way”
(A fair judgment for everyone)
It was a long time ago but some of you may remember. It was the fall of 1992 and Ozzy was in the midst of his No More Tears Tour. I bought two tickets but my companion copped out at the last minute. I was not about to miss my first opportunity to see Ozzy live so I went by myself! The months and years that lead up to the concert consisted of a lot of drug abuse, especially LSD and marijuana! On this particular night all I had was a bag of weed and enough money to buy some drinks once I arrived. My prior experience with LSD and my maturity level contributed to the events of the evening. During the concert I screamed out several phrases that I hoped would fuck with my fellow concert goers. The words “I’m here!” and “Blue Ball” had to do with a couple of LSD trips I had recently had the opportunity to experience. I was quite a distance from the stage so it took me off guard when Ozzy appeared to take notice, look in my direction and even put his arm out as if he thought I was Hitler. I thought nothing more of it till the next day…
The following morning I went about drinking beer and smoking weed as usual. I decided to put in the No More Tears CD in tribute of the concert I had just attended when it happened. There is no way I could have known it at the time but I would never be the same! I played it over and over again in a state of bewilderment that grew more and more enticing every time I heard what was on it. It was me! It was my name! My name was on an Ozzy Osbourne song! I couldn’t believe it! I have since come to accept it.
The following months developed into full blown schizophrenia. There seemed to be nothing I could do to get the refrigerator to shut up or find the listening devices and cameras the radio station must have put in my room. It was like the Earth itself was desperately trying to tell me something. The days and weeks turned into months and eventually years that I would have to spend like this. There are no words to describe what I went through or any way to truly exaggerate it (other than to say it was impossible). I often thought of getting back at the demon people who were clearly to blame for my situation. It wasn’t so much that I was crazy as it made me mad. I wanted someone to blame for it even if they never heard a thing I said. Eventually help found me because I was incapable of finding it myself.
There is a part of this story that I should take a second to tell you about. By this time in my life I had turned my back on Christianity. I could no longer justify belonging to a religion that refuses to be fair in its very nature. My decision as a teenager to become a Christian was made in haste and with little understanding of the religion itself. As a young man I decided that Christianity did not do the God of my understanding justice. I wanted to believe in a perfect God and, to me, that meant He had to be fair. It’s not that I had a problem with Christian morals and values, although I do consider myself a bi-sexual. I had a problem with Jesus specifically. It shouldn’t matter what you call or do not call God. God knows who His true followers are! He is the God of everyone or He is the God of no one. Our beliefs do not determine what is and what isn’t. Surely, God is as reasonable as we are! In the words of Ozzy Osbourne, “No sympathizing God is insanity!”
So far as I’m concerned the worlds religions are just a bunch of different ways to worship the same God. Le-way (what I call my religion) attempts to go about it in a way that allows people to be themselves without having to necessarily make any major changes in order to deserve being called a believer. Le-way is for all those sinners out there who want to believe in God but aren’t willing to completely turn their lives around. They want to be sinners but still receive Gods love and affection. I doubt there is anyone (no matter how bad of a person they are) that truly deserves to spend forever in a place like hell. Sure they should suffer but forever should be based on forever and not a human lifetime. Everyone should get what they deserve and that’s what Le-way is all about.
One day last fall I was getting drunk in the woods not too far from my parents house where I was staying when something unusual happened. I saw what appeared to be a dark figure resembling a knight in shining armor materialize before me. The creature, whatever it was, stood before me without saying a word for what seemed like forever. Then without any warning reached for the sword at it’s side and struck me down with a single blow to the head. The next thing I knew I was in the spirit and standing before the Lord. God did not say a word to me but instructed a 4 headed beast to show me what is to come.
I was surprised to hear the beast speak in such an innocent tone to me that I was not frightened. The beast explained to me in great detail what I am supposed to share with the rest of the world. The way to go to Heaven is to surrender the knowledge of good and evil but there are as many ways to go about this as there are names for God. I was right to say that it doesn’t matter what you call or do not call God. God knows who His true followers are! People who surrender their knowledge of good and evil will become at one with God and serve Him in the same way our arms and legs do us. This is what it means to achieve Nirvana or go to Heaven.
The beast went on to explain that God has prepared a place for the rest of us too. Each head of the beast took turns speaking as he described it as a kind of purgatory that will fulfill Gods wishes. He called this place Utopia and exclaimed that it‘s where bad things won‘t happen to good people. The better you live your life, the better your life will be. In other words there will be Perfect On-going Justice, like karma, but in a more urgent sense. Actual Free-will, or the absence of any demonic and/or psychic influences, will ensure that people are the ones responsible for their actions and deserve the consequences they reap. Just as important and even more exciting is that God promises to give everyone a Permanent 2nd Chance to Surrender the Knowledge of Good and Evil and go to Heaven. You might say that Utopia provides liberty and justice for all. With that in mind, may God bless America and bring us a miracle!
The Prayer of Le-way!
“God, whose names are great and many,
I ask that there may be justice for both friend and foe
and for myself.
What is the best way to go about this?
Any suggestions will be highly appreciated.
Be Excellent to One Another!