Young @ MindSay

In 24 hours or less, I will be getting bruised by a few hundred elbows.
I will be covered in sweat, most of which will not be my own.
I will be stepped on by a huge herd.
I will lose whatever remnants of my voice my teaching career hasn't killed in the past week.
And I absolutely cannot wait.



thank the lord for concerts. <3

Last night I fell asleep in Jeff's arms.  It was wonderful.  I dk, but lately we have been growing closer, if that was even possible.  Usually he holds me for 20 minutes until I fall asleep, then rolls over, but the past few nights he has help me through and through.  It has been wonderful. 

He still isnt to keen on that job.  I guess I dont blame him, but I am going to throw a fit until he takes it.  I know it sounds heartless but we need that money dammit.  I do not care, I am not the one who got put on ankle monitor, so I sure as hell will not be the one to fork out 2000 dollars while he does NOTHING.  No way, No how.  ANd no it isnt laziness that is his problem, 60 hours a week is A LOT of hours.  I know, but I need it...he needs it...the girls need it.

I am going to apply for a job at that temp agency, they seem way better then Answernet, and answernet has told us after November there will most likely be no work.  Ugh.  Crappy huh? 

Last night I put the "Color Pearl" Application on my phone because I had to delete it when I put on the new OS, and when I put it on there, my phone freaked out, so I was up AGAIN trying to fix it.  I found out that apparently the color pearl doesnt work with the new OS, so I have to look for another application.  Oh well. 

It is already Sunday which means the last official day of the work week (My first day of the week).  I work at 11 today.  I am up relaxing for a half hour before i have to jump in the shower and such.  I love my morning time.  It is ME time and I need it. 

The girls are still asleep today, I just went in and checked on them, so cute, Chloe must have gotten lonely because she grabbed her quilt (we giver her a twin size quilt) and climbed into bed with Nevaeh and they are snuggling.  I know they arent cold, they have the space heater in there, it is nice and toasty, I kind of want to lay down when I go in there.  Its cold in the rest of the house, and I hate it.  I will not cave and turn the heater on though, no way, no how.  I do not need it.  I cannot afford it yet. 

My sister Graduated boot camp on the 11th.  I am proud of her.  I wish I could have been there.

Not much else guys, I will update tonight or tomorrow!

GO PACKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just a day and a half and I will be off work for two weeks, w00t!! I can hardly wait, I really need this break to.

 

I think I am going to spend a lot of time at the beach, I just hope the weather holds out, we have had a really crappy summer so far, no hot days, lots of rain and thunder storms. Although, I actually do like the storms, they are never bad enough to cause any damamge, just a nice lightening show to watch with the kids.

 

Actually, a few weeks ago during one such storm, two really young girls (14ish) where running down the street in bikinis, while the storm was raging, I was sort of worried for them, I was thinking I should tell them to go back home, but knowing they wouldn't listen to me I didn't say anything anyway. After the storm they where walking back and one girl glanced up and saw me, suddenly she turned her back to me and mooned me. Wow, that is all I have to say about that.

 

I have to stay away from online games during this vacation, last year I wasted a week just playing games, I can't let that happen this time!!

I have talked about love a lot. But what is it? Do I even know what it is? I talked to a friend, and he says I don't. He says I can't feel love. He says I can't know what it is, because of my age. I have to say I completely disagree with this. I felt it was almost insulting to hear him say that. I know I'm probably doing to get mixed responses on this one, from people who share his belief, and people who agree with me.

I just don't think you can truly put an age on love. He says if you don't know what it is, you can't feel it. I don't think feelings are like that. Something can make you angry, and even if you don't know the word that means angry, or understand what it means to be angry, you can still be angry. We can have feelings and not know what they are. That's my opinion.

And love, I feel I know it very well. Too well, if that's possible. I have been in love a few times, and I don't doubt that it was love that I was and am feeling right now. People describe love in different ways, and have different definitions, and I think that's fine, but for someone to tell me that I can't feel love, when I feel it so strongly... I just don't know what to say to them.

Who can tell another person what they can or cannot feel? We aren't them, we can't know, and I don't think we should judge. Now I know I probably sound pretty nieve, and maybe I am. I won't deny it's possible. However, I believe in love, and I believe that I am in love. I don't see how he can deny that.

I believe that love is to care for someone immensely, obviously. I  think that is the basis. And we could define love, but everyone who's felt it knows what it is, and those who haven't, don't.

Love is a feeling. A very strong feeling. I am in love. I have loved someone for over two years now. I am quite certain of that. I have felt it so strongly it sometimes makes me dizzy, it makes me do crazy things. Anyone whos read my blog all along knows this.

I don't think someone should tell me what I can and can't feel.

Hi everybody,

 

Here's my second blog ever and the reason i write this is because i'm truly fascinated by the culture these days. The macho culture to be specific. The beer drinking, sports loving, girl demeaning, fighting world of a man.

 

Here's my problem, i sometimes feel terribly misplaced when i go out with some of my friends, or when i am at work. Here's why, if i go out to a bar there are only a few things where men think about: Girls, Beer and fights. Ofcourse there are exceptions sometimes they talk about sports.

 

Don't get me wrong i like girls, i like beer but it feels like a mask people put up to not have be thereselves but they choose to live like te stereotype, at least that's in public. Why can't a guy just sit a bar and talk about love, love is what the world is about. It is the most desirable thing out there. But for some strange reason it's almost like a taboo. Or if you do speak about it it makes you look weak or they think you're gay.

 

For instance when i comes to movies. All the guys i know like action movies or comedies, but when i sugest a truly beautifull film, like Good Will Hunting, and i explain what it's about i get laughed at. I think movies like The Notebook are the most beautifull films out there, the capture the essence of life so great, love, romance, hapiness these are things that are portrayed in the most amazing way in this movie but a lot of men say it's gay or for women. But i am gay or a softy because i can honestly enjoy the beauty of love? And please tell what is wrong with a cliche end of a film. What's wrong with a happy ending?

 

Personally i can get really happy when is see love or feel the realness. Most people, as far as i know, tear up and cry when they listen to songs like Jeff Buckley's Hallelujah, or Ray Lamontagne's Shelter. It's makes me smile because it means that there are men and people who still dare to express there inner feelings without caring what anybody thinks. What's better than sitting on a beach at night by a fire with someone you love? Well being a man i should have answered, drinking all day and going to a football match. Well for me it isn't but does this take away my manlyhood? Everybody wants love, so should you pass up on it just to be a man?

 

Because when i think about it, even the most macho men must have a soft side. Some of them are married, no woman could stand a man who never shows a soft side, not even in the bedroom. So it comes across like some men have double personalities. For me it's different i used to try and act differently, that was all because i was insecure if my mates would like me the way i am. But after travelling the world and getting multiple options to portay my character in different ways i found out that nearly every man is alike when i comes to love. Some act tougher than others but all crave the same thing, love.

 

So maybe not everybody shows it as much as they like. For the men who read this i hope you can say fuck the rest, this is me. And if you already have, Congratulations. And i sugest you listen to: Ray Lamontagne, Damien Rice, Ali Farka Toure, Jeff Buckley, Elliot Smith, Amos Lee, Fink, Aretha Franklin, ect for a change. Just give it a try. Or watch: Good Will Hunting, Leaving Las Vegas, Pay it Forward, The Notebook, Casablanca, Notting Hill.

 

With all these things please try to be openminded and appreciate the honesty, beauty and love int it. Because that's what's life is al about in the end.

 

Simmovic

 

P.s. Please mind my spelling and grammar, i'm dutch so i do my best. And leave a comment what you thought about the blog.