Wrong @ MindSay

"I wont miss your arms around me, holding me tight."

"I wish I could scream out loud, that I love you. I wish I could say to you, don't go..."

And I know that no one has understood this yet. Why it hurts so much, why I can't believe in love. Why I can't trust my feelings any more. Because they say I will love again. Well, I might feel love again. But nothing has felt that right. And it hurts that anyone assumes they know what it's like if they're telling me to get over it.

Everything just feels like a lie. Without him, it feels wrong. I feel like I'm betraying him. Even though he's not mine, he still feels like mine. And I've been in love many times.

And of course, whenever it's over before you want it to be, you feel sad, and it doesn't feel right. But this time...

You just can't believe how right it felt, and still feels. Such a strong comfort, that we made love the second night after meeting. And it wasn't passionate, it wasn't in any heat of a moment...

It was gentle, and comfortable, and slow, and romantic. It was the most right thing I ever felt, being so close to him. Love has felt good, but nothing has ever felt this right.

And part of me still believes that we met for a reason. That we made love, and it meant something. And that maybe right now isn't the time, but that we'll find each other again, and will be together. I know... it sounds so silly. And my skeptism and pessimism says that's ridiculous. But I can't shake that belief. It felt too right to be wrong.

No one ever made me so happy. Nothing's ever made me hurt so much...

Now I think about ways to kill myself, every day. There's a window that could be so easy. I have pills, but it might not be guaranteed. There's trucks, but I might not die, either. I figure the window is the easiest and most certain... I almost did one night. But I texted my friend and he made me stay with him.

I just don't believe in love. I used to think everything happened for a reason, but there's been no reason for this. He just decided he didn't love me anymore. I didn't cheat on him, I didn't treat him badly, he said it had nothing to do with me. What did I do wrong? What did I do to deserve this?  I know bad things happen, but what am I to learn from this? Besides not to believe. To never trust my feelings again.


If you have any comments about you having gone through this and you got over it, you can shove it. : D

Fuck love
fuck life
fuck this
why bother

The most right thing I ever felt turns out to be wrong.

I can't live with that.

I'm gone.

One simple, two syllable word encompasses such a wide array of points of view and diverse opinions: killing. How is it justifiable? I mean if a man kills another man it’s considered murder, homicide, manslaughter, or whatever you wish to call it. Basically, to put it rather bluntly, it is unacceptable in our present society. If a man kills his child, he goes to jail. If a man kills his dog, he goes to jail. This behavior is all considered wrong. However, man kills thousands of cows, chickens, ducks, etc every day and no one cares. What really is the difference between a chicken and a dog? Say you look out side and your neighbor’s slaughtering a chicken in his backyard. I mean, you may be taken a bit aback but still, nothing really out of the ordinary. However, say you look outside and see Jack next door cutting off his dog’s head and skinning the body. Now you might say something.

So you smack the mosquito on your arm. You just voluntarily took something’s life away. Who’s to say it was that mosquito’s time to go? Who’s to say you had the right to kill it? I mean, if we can kill mosquitoes and cows and chickens, why can’t we kill dogs and cats and children and people? It’s a known fact that we as humans can’t play God. Well then, by killing ANYTHING that lives, are we not “playing God” or attempting to in some way? How low in the food chain do we have to go until homicide is acceptable? All I’m saying is, when is killing right? When is it acceptable? And furthermore, who’s to say it’s ok to kill one thing and not another? Do we have that power as humans? I sure as hell don’t think so but maybe that’s just me.

maybe im like this cause im not really looking foward to anything...theres nothing really going to brighten my day. Well im going to Cali Adventure on Sat with my two close friends....but im not really excited. I feel like something about me is wrong. I feel sick

If we were raised "naked" and everyone were naked, would we know we were naked? (mind you this is supposing a warm climate is present). Would we be more or less body conscious? Would we be as sexually uptight as many are now? Why do we feel the need to be covered?
My grand daughter , when she was little, was always taking off her clothes and running around like a little free spirit.
It took many adults many scoldings to convince her it was a "wrong" thing to do. In her "innocence, she saw no wrong in being naked. She probably would have kissed and hugged boys and girls alike also if we had not told her  not to.
If children were left to their own devices would they have a sense of right and wrong?
Looking for input!