Writers @ MindSay 
[ Writers Slideshow | Browse Tags ]
writing
Ah, how much we have in common...
Saw this and had to share it. :)
So That's Who I Remind Me Of
by Ogden Nash
When I consider men of golden talents,
I'm delighted, in my introverted way,
To discover, as I'm drawing up the balance,
How much we have in common, I and they.
Like Burns, I have a weakness for the bottle,
Like Shakespeare, little Latin and less Greek;
I bite my fingernails like Aristotle;
Like Thackeray, I have a snobbish streak.
I'm afflicted with the vanity of Byron,
I've inherited the spitefulness of Pope;
Like Petrarch, I'm a sucker for a siren,
Like Milton, I've a tendency to mope.
My spelling is suggestive of a Chaucer;
Like Johnson, well, I do not wish to die
(I also drink my coffee from the saucer);
And if Goldsmith was a parrot, so am I.
Like Villon, I have debits by the carload,
Like Swinburne, I'm afraid I need a nurse;
By my dicing is Christopher out-Marlowed,
And I dream as much as Coleridge, only worse.
In comparison with men of golden talents,
I am all a man of talent ought to be;
I resemble every genius in his vice, however heinous-
Yet I write so much like me.
by Ogden Nash
When I consider men of golden talents,
I'm delighted, in my introverted way,
To discover, as I'm drawing up the balance,
How much we have in common, I and they.
Like Burns, I have a weakness for the bottle,
Like Shakespeare, little Latin and less Greek;
I bite my fingernails like Aristotle;
Like Thackeray, I have a snobbish streak.
I'm afflicted with the vanity of Byron,
I've inherited the spitefulness of Pope;
Like Petrarch, I'm a sucker for a siren,
Like Milton, I've a tendency to mope.
My spelling is suggestive of a Chaucer;
Like Johnson, well, I do not wish to die
(I also drink my coffee from the saucer);
And if Goldsmith was a parrot, so am I.
Like Villon, I have debits by the carload,
Like Swinburne, I'm afraid I need a nurse;
By my dicing is Christopher out-Marlowed,
And I dream as much as Coleridge, only worse.
In comparison with men of golden talents,
I am all a man of talent ought to be;
I resemble every genius in his vice, however heinous-
Yet I write so much like me.
Why I write and read
I enjoy writing and reading stories about various topics. This would probably be considered rare for a guy who only graduated from the eighth grade in grammar school.
But life itself has a way of bringing people about regardless of their education or experiences. This is just one small example of how I was fortunate enough to change my ways and learn new things in life ... things I feel are important and that I enjoy doing.
No, life has not always been easy for me and that I am sure that other people have gone through worse times too. I'm sure that I am writing to the choir here, that some of you have had it much harder than I.
The point of my article here is to share my story. Writing and reading was not always a favorite thing for me to do or to even consider doing, it just happened during my later years. I was going through hard times, feeling sorry for myself, or thinking of how I didn't succeed in life like my other friends and colleagues.
One day, I got to thinking that there had to be another way to live my life. One way to start was to understand that I have choices in life. I can either give up and cry in my beer or realize that I can change my life into a productive life of happiness. The first thing a person must do is to be honest with themselves.
This thinking requires taking a long ugly look at yourself and realize that changes have to take place and soon before you lose all hope or direction. It means spending time with yourself, doing things with yourself and learning all over again as to who you really are to yourself, before trying to be yourself for others.
This is easier said than doing it, believe me.
One thing a person should learn about themselves is what they like to do. If this decision is not clear yet, don't give up, sometimes it takes a little time longer for most of us, before some of us eventually find what we were in search for all along, ourselves.
Once I learned what made me tick bad and good, it wasn't long to correct some of my mistakes in life and to see what I really liked doing, in my case and for this article's sake, writing and reading became my favorite past time. I hope that this article will instill hope and some help in one's life here. Remember, life has a way of making things happen when they are ready to happen, not necessarily when we want them to happen. Never give up, because it is a fact that everybody has something good to add to their own lives and to the lives of others. Hang in there.
Jim's Police and Military Page
Jim Heitmeyer
But life itself has a way of bringing people about regardless of their education or experiences. This is just one small example of how I was fortunate enough to change my ways and learn new things in life ... things I feel are important and that I enjoy doing.
No, life has not always been easy for me and that I am sure that other people have gone through worse times too. I'm sure that I am writing to the choir here, that some of you have had it much harder than I.
The point of my article here is to share my story. Writing and reading was not always a favorite thing for me to do or to even consider doing, it just happened during my later years. I was going through hard times, feeling sorry for myself, or thinking of how I didn't succeed in life like my other friends and colleagues.
One day, I got to thinking that there had to be another way to live my life. One way to start was to understand that I have choices in life. I can either give up and cry in my beer or realize that I can change my life into a productive life of happiness. The first thing a person must do is to be honest with themselves.
This thinking requires taking a long ugly look at yourself and realize that changes have to take place and soon before you lose all hope or direction. It means spending time with yourself, doing things with yourself and learning all over again as to who you really are to yourself, before trying to be yourself for others.
This is easier said than doing it, believe me.
One thing a person should learn about themselves is what they like to do. If this decision is not clear yet, don't give up, sometimes it takes a little time longer for most of us, before some of us eventually find what we were in search for all along, ourselves.
Once I learned what made me tick bad and good, it wasn't long to correct some of my mistakes in life and to see what I really liked doing, in my case and for this article's sake, writing and reading became my favorite past time. I hope that this article will instill hope and some help in one's life here. Remember, life has a way of making things happen when they are ready to happen, not necessarily when we want them to happen. Never give up, because it is a fact that everybody has something good to add to their own lives and to the lives of others. Hang in there.
Jim's Police and Military Page
Jim Heitmeyer
RULES FOR LAW ENFORCEMENT
No patrol car assigned to you will be clean and never have a full tank of gas.
New uniforms and ties attract catsup and gravy stains
Court will be scheduled in the middle of your days off.
Hot calls will only come over the air 10 minutes before the end of your shift.
You will never get the urge to use the bathroom until you have left the station.
Surprise inspections will only occur after you have been in a foot pursuit through mud.
The Mayor will get a traffic ticket the day before your department negotiates for a salary increase.
The bigger they are, the harder they fall. Also the harder they punch, kick and choke.
Never search a dark warehouse with a cop whose nickname is "Boom-Boom".
If you park your patrol car in the exact center of the Gobi desert, within 5 minutes someone will pull up and ask for direction.
Coffee machines only break down on the graveyard shift.
Pens never leak onto old uniform shirts.
You will only forget to go to court when the case is presided over by the meanest Judge in town.
To error is human, to forgive is against department policy.
You will find a "police discount" one day before payday.
Shatterproof flashlights seldom are.
You will remain in perfect health until your days off.
Glow in the dark sights are just as visible to you as they are to the crook hiding behind you.
Wearing white socks makes boot zippers break.
The oldest squad car won't be retired. It will be assigned to you.
Coffee jitters will never bother you until firearm qualification day.
Flashlight batteries never die in the daylight hours.
Your mouthiest traffic violator will be related to the sheriff.
You will score no higher than fourth on a promotion exam with only three positions.
If the crooks are within pistol range, so are you.
The speed you respond to a fight in progress is inversely proportional to how long you have been an officer.
Perfect 10's only show up to talk when you are busy.
Bullet proof vests might be.
The number of citizen that approach you during lunch is inversely proportional to the amount of time you have to eat.
Your portable radio will never fail until you are involved in a foot pursuit.
Vehicle pursuits always progress from areas of low traffic density to high traffic density.
Your pen will only run out of ink when you are ready to write a ticket.
NCIC will be down anytime you see a car listed on a hot sheet.
Old squad cars never die, they just smell that way.
You will never get a bomb threat call until the squad is away on training.
The experience of your DA is inversely proportional to the importance of the case he is prosecuting.
Word processors only delete reports when they are nearly done.
Your bullet proof vest was supplied by the lowest bidder.
You receive a subpoena for a major felony case for the first day of your paid for, nonrefundable vacation.
In a physical confrontation involving more than one officer, any impact weapon used will strike cops more times than crooks.
Do unto others, but do it first.
Eat right, Exercise, Die anyway.
You will be called into work on your day off when your family has planned a party at the lake.
Your squad car will only break down when you are outside your beat.
Waterproof boots aren't.
You will be flagged down by a citizen when you are on your way to the PD with a bad case of diarrhea
You will only be stopped for speeding off duty when you have forgotten your badge and DL
Freebees will only arrive at the station on your days off.
There will be no parking spaces around the court house when you are running late to appear.
There is an inverse relationship between the number of auto club stickers on a rear bumper and how well the person drives.
You are ALWAYS downwind from pepper spray.
You will only be subpoenaed to court at 0900 hrs in the morning after working an 18 hour day.
To err is human, just do it in front of as few people as possible.
Anyone that flirts with you on-duty won't even recognize you off-duty.
The hardest job for a Hostage Negotiator is to negotiate with the crisis committee.
No one's idea is a good idea until it becomes another's idea...usually the Chief's
If your patrol car's air is out the suspect will smell worse than a wet dog.
On the nights where you have to go grocery shopping in uniform, you will get pissed on by a drunk.
When your in a hurry, that is when all slow and "lack of attention" drivers are driving on the road.
You always have a big use of force on your Friday before your vacation.
Never respond to a domestic with anyone braver than you
If your raid is going well, you're at the wrong house
The one time you cuss on the radio, your chief will be listening
Your overheads and siren will only fail during a pursuit
You will only roll through a stop sign when your Chief is sitting at the other side of the intersection
K-9 units only do stupid thing's in public
The day you let your girlfriend ride out with you, your wife comes by the station to visit.
Court will be canceled only after you have changed all your plans to be there.
You will be decorated for stupidity, and busted for brilliant work.
When closing the Sally Port door, if a fellow officers car is under it pushing the stop button will only slow it down.
Field experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
Anything that you do can get you shot - including doing nothing.
The first sip from the first coffee of your shift always triggers the dispatcher to send you on a call usually an emergency or something that will cause the coffee to go cold before you can return to it.
RULES FOR LAW ENFORCEMENT
Jim Heitmeyer
Jim Heitmeyer
No patrol car assigned to you will be clean and never have a full tank of gas.
New uniforms and ties attract catsup and gravy stains
Court will be scheduled in the middle of your days off.
Hot calls will only come over the air 10 minutes before the end of your shift.
You will never get the urge to use the bathroom until you have left the station.
Surprise inspections will only occur after you have been in a foot pursuit through mud.
The Mayor will get a traffic ticket the day before your department negotiates for a salary increase.
The bigger they are, the harder they fall. Also the harder they punch, kick and choke.
Never search a dark warehouse with a cop whose nickname is "Boom-Boom".
If you park your patrol car in the exact center of the Gobi desert, within 5 minutes someone will pull up and ask for direction.
Coffee machines only break down on the graveyard shift.
Pens never leak onto old uniform shirts.
You will only forget to go to court when the case is presided over by the meanest Judge in town.
To error is human, to forgive is against department policy.
You will find a "police discount" one day before payday.
Shatterproof flashlights seldom are.
You will remain in perfect health until your days off.
Glow in the dark sights are just as visible to you as they are to the crook hiding behind you.
Wearing white socks makes boot zippers break.
The oldest squad car won't be retired. It will be assigned to you.
Coffee jitters will never bother you until firearm qualification day.
Flashlight batteries never die in the daylight hours.
Your mouthiest traffic violator will be related to the sheriff.
You will score no higher than fourth on a promotion exam with only three positions.
If the crooks are within pistol range, so are you.
The speed you respond to a fight in progress is inversely proportional to how long you have been an officer.
Perfect 10's only show up to talk when you are busy.
Bullet proof vests might be.
The number of citizen that approach you during lunch is inversely proportional to the amount of time you have to eat.
Your portable radio will never fail until you are involved in a foot pursuit.
Vehicle pursuits always progress from areas of low traffic density to high traffic density.
Your pen will only run out of ink when you are ready to write a ticket.
NCIC will be down anytime you see a car listed on a hot sheet.
Old squad cars never die, they just smell that way.
You will never get a bomb threat call until the squad is away on training.
The experience of your DA is inversely proportional to the importance of the case he is prosecuting.
Word processors only delete reports when they are nearly done.
Your bullet proof vest was supplied by the lowest bidder.
You receive a subpoena for a major felony case for the first day of your paid for, nonrefundable vacation.
In a physical confrontation involving more than one officer, any impact weapon used will strike cops more times than crooks.
Do unto others, but do it first.
Eat right, Exercise, Die anyway.
You will be called into work on your day off when your family has planned a party at the lake.
Your squad car will only break down when you are outside your beat.
Waterproof boots aren't.
You will be flagged down by a citizen when you are on your way to the PD with a bad case of diarrhea
You will only be stopped for speeding off duty when you have forgotten your badge and DL
Freebees will only arrive at the station on your days off.
There will be no parking spaces around the court house when you are running late to appear.
There is an inverse relationship between the number of auto club stickers on a rear bumper and how well the person drives.
You are ALWAYS downwind from pepper spray.
You will only be subpoenaed to court at 0900 hrs in the morning after working an 18 hour day.
To err is human, just do it in front of as few people as possible.
Anyone that flirts with you on-duty won't even recognize you off-duty.
The hardest job for a Hostage Negotiator is to negotiate with the crisis committee.
No one's idea is a good idea until it becomes another's idea...usually the Chief's
If your patrol car's air is out the suspect will smell worse than a wet dog.
On the nights where you have to go grocery shopping in uniform, you will get pissed on by a drunk.
When your in a hurry, that is when all slow and "lack of attention" drivers are driving on the road.
You always have a big use of force on your Friday before your vacation.
Never respond to a domestic with anyone braver than you
If your raid is going well, you're at the wrong house
The one time you cuss on the radio, your chief will be listening
Your overheads and siren will only fail during a pursuit
You will only roll through a stop sign when your Chief is sitting at the other side of the intersection
K-9 units only do stupid thing's in public
The day you let your girlfriend ride out with you, your wife comes by the station to visit.
Court will be canceled only after you have changed all your plans to be there.
You will be decorated for stupidity, and busted for brilliant work.
When closing the Sally Port door, if a fellow officers car is under it pushing the stop button will only slow it down.
Field experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
Anything that you do can get you shot - including doing nothing.
The first sip from the first coffee of your shift always triggers the dispatcher to send you on a call usually an emergency or something that will cause the coffee to go cold before you can return to it.
Showing 1 - 5. [ Next ]
Quick Links
Latest Comment
Re: Dating around - You know, each of those partners would be absolutely insane not to welcome your advances....
| Terms of Service
| Privacy Policy