Write @ MindSay 
writing
my username/screenname/url,
or whatever you would like to call it.
it's wakeupyourealiv.
well
if any of you have ever heard of
to write love on her arms
then you are awesome.
and you probably have some idea
of what it means.
it was supposed to be wakeupyourealive.
but the stupid rule that nearly every website has
is that your username
or screenname
or url
or whatever you wish to call it
cannot exceed
twenty characters.
but, of course,
in this case
it is fifteen characters.
yes,
i know,
it is a truly fantastic story.
and now i have
nothing to write about
though i have nothing to do
but write.
so
what am i supposed to do?
i am thirsty.
and hungry.
but my father is downstairs
and if i go down there
he will yell at me
for some random reason
about something that i
didn't even do.
i do apologize
if my way of writing
annoys you.
it kind of annoys me, too
but i think
that writing it this way
makes it sound cooler.
my apologies if you disagree.
i just want to say
that i find matthew lush
particularly enjoyable.
OH GOODIE.
i have discovered a topic
that i can talk [type?] about.
there's this boy
his name is hunter.
and he's pretty stupid.
he talks to me
using chatspeak of course
but all he ever does
is insult me.
i told him i don't eat.
he said
"if ur anorexic n ur fat how does that work??"
and i do realize
that i am definitely not
the skinniest person in the world
but still
that is very mean
to point out to someone
especially if you know
that they have low self-esteem.
and that is all he ever does
is insult me
and i hate it
because i don't insult him.
and it's really
truly
unfair
because i have not done anything to harm him
in any way
yet he still sees the need to insult me.
and also
there is this boy
let's just call him..joe
of course that is not his real name
but yeah
so "joe"
is cool
and somebody tells "joe" that i like him
so he comes over to me while i am in the lunch line
[he is twelve people in front of me]
and asks if i would like to get in front of him
so that i can get my lunch
way before the twelve people
that i have just cut in front of.
and normally
i would not do something so horrible
but this is "joe"
and this may be my only chance
to ever talk to him
even if it is just
in the lunch line
for three and a half minutes.
so he puts his arm around me
and his friend with a cell phone
takes a picture of us
and of course my heart is POUNDING because
he's actually TOUCHING me,
ME.
and then he says something
very funny.
he points to me
and says to his friend
"i'm working up the courage to ask her out."
and it might not be funny to you
but it is VERY funny to me.
and so a minute or so passes
and i worry about how
i might not get any fries
and then it is my turn
to enter my student number in the little machine
and as i am doing this
i mess up
so i start again
and as i am doing this
he hugs me.
he hugs me.
he hugs me.
HE HUGS ME.
and yes
i do realize
that i typed that
four times
but i think i needed to
because it was truly a huge
life-completing experience
and, guess what?
i was totally in shock
for another three and a half minutes
and i couldn't even move
so when i went to sit at my table
everybody stole my food
and yes i was STARVING
[but it wasn't like i was going to eat it anyway, so..]
but it was still so awesome
i nearly cried.
and then
i saw hunter.
he broke his collar bone
and even though i hate him
i started crying
because i don't like to see
anyone hurt
even the people i hate.
and i told him this
and he doesn't insult me any more
at least, he hasn't yet
because i told him this about an hour and a half ago
and about ten minutes ago
he said he had to "go"
and i think it is very funny
that the last three lines
all ended in "go"
ago
ago
go
haha.
i do apologize
but there is one more thing that i have to say.
HE HUGGED ME.
XD
p.s.
did i mention
ever
in this blog
that my name
is samantha?
Judgement. trust. PRIDE. perfection.
The 4 words that I struggle with day after day after day as a Christian.
I'm starting to write again. Ever since 9th grade, I would write constantly. I had this notebook where I would write poems and quotes. Along with my personal journal of my daily life and things that went on and happened. and of course came apon Mindsay a few years ago. But I went through some of my stuff from college yesterday and picked up an old journal with things I have written from last summer and something in me just wants to start writing again. So, I did. I love putting things down on paper to just let it all out. Ya know. I need to let my emotions go. I need to get through this and if by writing will help me heal, then I'm gonna do that instead of stupid things i use to do. Ryan doesnt love me and I gotta face it. "He's not coming back Brittany and He will never love you again, let it go. All you are doing is hurting yourself even more by holding on to something thats not there anymore. He doesnt care about you. If he did, he would of called you by now. Let it go."
Underneath Your Wings
My heart is aching
for the past three months
I feel like hiding or running away
but then
You breathed life into me
I feel you setting me free
with your mercy and grace
I find healing
underneath your wings
I cried out through the night
Just praying for an answer
longing just to be with you
You called me
You took a hold of me
You showed me
Just how much you love me
Underneath your wings
Thank you Jesus
The Lord will watch over your coming
and going both now and forevermore.
Psalm 121:8
On another note, I'm so excited to go home sunday. I know i think i've said that for the past 10 days but I really am... I'm ready.
A fast update of a bit of everything.
1. I have started getting my mail on an every other day biases! My moms is sooo proud of me! I started because I was waiting for checks to come in for the kids and various First Communion presents from all the family and "pagany" friends that sent to them. Now I am waiting on my checks to come in. So now that I have gotten in the habit we can start actually "writting". Craftywench dear, I need you to email us full addy and your mini me's name and your name again. DeLaney said she won't promise any decent letters (they just got done with proper letter writing at school so she is burnt out) but she will write!
2. I was very upset with my TKD Academy instructor Monday and ran into Aj's wife yesterday and told her why. It looks like my cousin's wife has been talking and the owner/instructor is beleiving every word she has to say about me. Which is funny as hell cause the stuck up bitch doesn't KNOW me, doesn't talk to me outside of saying hi, and thinks I am "white trash" cause I don't dress in brand name clothes. Carrie is upset over this cause she had to deal with my cousin's wife talking shit about her last year. AJ is going to talk to me Friday cause he is worried that after we get our black belt at the end of this year beginning of next year instead of stickign around that we will leave the Academy. AJ knows that I don't put up with this type of shit but I am also not going to play highschool bull shit games, I'll call the instructor and cousin's wife out and be dayumed any family fall out.
3. After 7 years (i though it was 5 until my moms counted back) I actually took myself to my hair stylist and got my hair colored. The kdis and I got our hair cut Wensday or Thrusday last week and I splurged on hair color yesterday. I think I look kick ass hot with my new do. The bottom half of my hair is a purply reddish brown and the upper layers are reddish brown. So when I put my sides up you can see the purple and when I actually blow dry curl my bangs you can see it also! My hair stylist instead of charging me for my length which at the moment is short and thickness of my hair (usually takes a lot of dye for my hair even when short) she charged me just for shortness for two different dyes even though the bottom dye she used a full bottle of it she said! I was very happy over not paying close to 100 for my dye like normal! It was closer to 50!
4. I don't know if I told you all about the plan I had in plotting progress but I started it. At the end of May when my kdis get out of school, instead of taking them on their first camping trip, they will be staying with Pappo and Mammo (Unless daddy is home those two days) while Mommy is bettering herself. I registered for 1 of 6 classes to start my certificate/licensing process to become a Certified and eventually Licensed Drug/Alchohal (sp? can't ever spell that word) Counselor! The total amoutn of classes is $1300.00 but you only pay for the class your taking. And if the class that is scheduled doesn't fit in your schedule you just wait for the next one to be listed, it doesn't hurt you! It is through the Lincoln Medical Center and a program called TAP out of Lincoln. The series of classes are held every 6 months. Sometimes on the Western/Central parts of the state and the other times on the Eastern/Central part of the state. Right now they are in the Western/Central parts of the state but I am going down to a weekend class in Lincoln the day my kdis get out of school for the first class. I have NOT told Randy yet, because Randy told NOW would come up with a way to sabatoge my plans and he wouldn't even realize it. Once it comes closer I will inform him and he will get over it. My parents and my sister (and one friend) are stepping to the plate to help with the kids especially when it comes to the week long classes coming up. After I do the classes I have to intern at 1 of 4 places near me or try to get on at the IHS out paitent clinic. Once I get that over with I can get licensed and work anyplace in NE as a counselor. I am going to hold out for the IHS Drug/Booze Dependency Unit to be up and operational to get on with the Tribe/Gov't. They are in the process of building it now right next to the new IHS hospital my moms works at!
5. My garden is tilled and my onions planted. I have to find my other seed to get the other cold weather seeds in, my herb garden needs one more tillign and then I can plant that, and Coltin's room is about done with the fixing of cracks so I can paint!
6. Randy has been an ass lately so when he is home this week we will hash that out.
Over all life has been good. I even wrote gwydionjim a letter while he is at boot camp. He might even get another one here when I mail out the last of the kids' thank you cards for all their First Communion Presents! Yes I make my kids do snail mail thank yous!
Wow - Time has PASSED since I have blogged... So - I have something I need to ask YOUR help on... I have to come up with a topic for an argumentative essay... So, if you could give me ideas, and I'll tell you my opinion on it and you can tell me if you think I have a good argument for or against something... I have to have enough content to complete a 5 page paper... So, help with ideas would be much appreciated...
I'll post in the next couple of days some old papers I have written for classes - At least those I think might be found interesting to those OUTSIDE of my classes....
Have a great day!!!
We'll see if I actually use it.
I had to keep one in a class Spring of 2006, and while it was slightly lame, it was also slightly cool. And since I don't know where THAT one went, I have purchased a new marble notebook that I can decorate to my liking and will hopefully write little tidbits and some good things in. Kind of like here, I guess ??
On an angry, lame sidenote, IN WHAT ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE DOES A COMPOSITION NOTEBOOK (one of those marble ones you used in elementary school) COST $3.59!?!?!?! I don't care if it has '3 subjects' (a whopping 20 pages more than a regular 1 subj. one does)... those things are like 59 cents usually. Argh. Minus 10, CVS. Minus 10.
Showing 1 - 5. [ Next ]