Worship @ MindSay

A common misconception by non-Christians about Heaven is that it is all about the promise of eternal life. However, to a mature Christian, the allure of Heaven is not the promise of eternal life, but to be in the presence of God.

In the days of the early church, Christianity had trouble competing (before Augustine's intervention) because all the other religions of the time rewarded with the possibility of becoming gods whereas Christianity's reward was merely to have the opportunity to be able to worship God for all of eternity.

But to a mature Christian, the desire is there and the eternal life thing? Well, we're happy about that, too, because it means we can worship God all that more.

If you want to criticise us for being too willing to prostrate, then go ahead. But don't say it is egotism. Because if you do, you probably don't understand us at all.

Oh, and it's not all about the afterlife, either. There is much joy to be had in this life, too.

I tried out for the worship team in my church today. The Pastor called me at 10 this morning to see if I was available tonight at 7:45pm. Of course, that gave me all day to  worry myself near to death  prepare. I arrived ten minutes early, warmed up a little more in the foyer, and then they came to get me. I did pretty well, I think. They liked what they heard and will deliberate over the next few days to see what they are going to do. So I won't officially find out until Sunday. I relish the comfort of knowing I did my best, I did what God has called me to do, and all the rest lies in His hands.

My grandpa calls the worship music I listen to "neopentacostal" music.  He thinks if the old stuff is good enough for him, it should be good enough for everyone...

Unfortunately, as much as I love olde tyme Gospel music, I love modern worship even more. I love the freedom; how it doesn't have to have a specific sound...How you can praise God with an electric squealing guitar or a pulsating techno beat.  I love how the bonds of what is considered "Christian" music are broke and even old hymns become new again.  And when I say worship, I don't mean the "worship" sound that is so popular, but a unfettered praise and adoration of the God most high.

That is worship.

My favorite part of any church service is the music.  I can honestly say that in most services, I can walk out after the music and feel perfectly at peace.

Often it is the preaching that comes after that ruins that oneness with the Almighty.  When you've been going to church all your life, you start to see the same things preached and talked and taught over and over again...it does get to the point where you know what is going to be said from the way the sermon/lesson/whatever starts...especially in the denomination I grew up in whre the Good Ol' Boy system is in full effect.  My grandpa preached a heck of a good sermon, but when the higher ups came...It was so superfluous.. You start being able to tell (with nudging from the holy spirit I am sure) who is actually called to ministry and who is just there for other reasons...and this has helped lead to my current state of church-less-ness heh.

But back on topic..Worship man.  I love it.  So often worship music of all types echo my emotions and my thoughts, they are a brazen cymbal that reverberates all that I am experiencing at that moment.  Music has always done this to me, but when you are worshiping God it is even more real then any time previously.   It is like Lewis said in the Last Battle, things of God get more and more real as you go deeper in to his territory.

It is like everything else drops away and you are alone with God, the almighty, the Creator of everything. He is there just for you and you alone, there to communicate, to talk, to hang out for a bit.  Your emotions are bare and your life is laid out like a reel of raw footage.  Nothing is hidden and forgiveness is abundant.  Nothing is remembered and nothing, not even the worst sin, is held against you.

That is what true worship is like.

Yet, even then you are not alone.  All those around you (Even if you are in your car driving to work) can be felt.  The emotions, thoughts, and prayers of everyone are sent twirling and melding in to Heaven like some kind of celstial song.  You can feel the presence of angels and of fellow believers all across the world.  Time stops and for the briefest amount of itme you are on a field of green spread out far and wide surrounded by a ring of mountains; you are in a perfect place where water can be heard and nature is frozen in serene perfection.  God is all around and it is like you have glimpsed heaven, you and all those around you..even if they don't realize it.

It doesn't have to be perfectly produced and choreographed; all the instruments don't have to be tuned. You don't even have to sing well... Worship comes from the heart and the soul and your calling out to God.  And he just echoes that, letting you know how much love and joy you have brought him..even if you have sinned..That he still loves you and even likes you even in your darkest of nights.

That is the worship I love; that is why so often the rest of the service is pale in comparison.  Especially when it is cut off early just to keep to a set schedule.  I have told people what iti s like to be part of a worship team that is totally on with God and you can feel everything just sync in to place.  They tell me that it is good to be in front of people and singing..but that is not it.  The adulation of others isn't what worship of our Creator is; I can only hope that they experience it one day...

Maybe I'm odd; I don't hear this aspect of worship talked about very much.  It is like people are jealous of their times with God, or it is to personal, or they are scared to be opened and examined so easily.

I know it is real, I know others experience it. I can see it in their eyes and their countenance.

So yes, preaching I can live without; I can probably quote you about 20 different sermons off the top of my head.  But worship? No, never.  If we are ever killed for Christ, I want to be the one that goes out with a song on my lips and praise in my heart. I  want those that kill me to know a little bit of God before I am sent beyond, to know what they are missing.

Our God is just that great.

"Does it really need to be big?"

 

Blink, blink.  He means it sincerely, but I can't help the astonished tinge to my voice.  "Yes!  It's dramatic emphasis!  The dynamics are key -- I mean, just look at the words.  Not only that, look at how it is formatted: verse, chorus, bridge.  It builds up slowly with humble reverence, then drops back down to quiet desperation, then raises up towards a heartfelt cry, emanating from the very pores.  The dynamics are what reflect that very cry, and so it must be big, for emphasis to go along with the lyrics..."

 

By now I've petered out, because now he's talking to the drummer and I realize that no one is listening to me.  I share a frustrated glance with El Capitan, who shrugs and tells me to hold my ground.

 

So I do.  Only after the music director has left do I give the drummer explicit instructions about dropping out during the chorus, and what beats to emphasize in the bridge.  In the end, it works out the way I wanted it to -- and not because I'm some "mean dictator", but because I have the crazy concept that the music should reflect the lyrics.

 

I was told many times during rehearsal that "We don't need to do it like they do it on the cd."  I agree.  We don't.   And we didn't.  But we still should attempt to sound like we care about the song, right?  Instead of just dashing it off willy-nilly and seeing where it lands.

 

That's what practice is for.

 

"Oh, but we'll just see where the Spirit leads."  Ok -- that's what prayer is for.

 

Oh... and those are what routinely the music team doesn't do -- practice or pray.

 

Arg.  So frustrating.  But I'm not ready to give up on my once-a-month internal insurgence.  Yes, I wish I could just stop caring, but I'm afraid I'm passionate about worship, particularly about those who lead other into worship, and I refuse to let the laissez-faire attitude completely debilitate Sunday mornings.

 

What is more, my feathers are still slightly ruffled by the fact that I was introduced to the church as "from the youth department."  Double arg.  Yes -- I do work with the teens, but I am not a teen -- I'm an adult and a member of this congregation in my own right.  Not only that, suddenly I felt that all my persistent (and passionate) suggestions about how the songs should be attempted (see above conversation) had been pushed under the rug because "she's just a young'un and doesn't really know what she's doing."

 

Could I be defended for having the strong urge to bean a certain music director over the head with a Bible, perhaps one opened, oh, say, 1 Timothy, chapter four, verse... oh.... twelve?

 

Sigh.

 

But despite my flashes of frustration, I know that I'm right in persisting in this "insurgence."  Don't be misled -- I am polite, humble, and respectful -- but there are moments when I know I'm right, and I have to stick to my guns.

 

Such as with dynamics -- and showing true passion for the words we sing.