Work Day Job @ MindSay

Still so hot here it feels like a sauna. I'm not doing much except house work and my part time job, which i love.

Still looking for a gf, Sam isn't going to work out she is just from a different generation, delicious in bed i have to admit, but we enjoy doing different things. She will remain a friend, maybe a fb if hubby is ok with it (he is ok with lori why not another ..lol).

My son is coming home next month YAY!!!!!!!!

I need a change in scenery or something to make me squeal .... something to excite me.

I've read 4 books in the last 3 weeks.

i think i need to see lori .... i really need another gf ....i said that already.

nothing new otherwise .... i am so boring!!!

hugs everyone!

As you know, I work 12 hour days. and with no days off working 2 jobs.  I did all the darn laundry at the hotel sunday and monday so there is NO dirty thing left.  I ran from one job to the other 3 times a day on thursday-sunday's. and My boss at the hotel already ticked me off a few weeks ago.  He doesnt like my boss i work for at the chocolate place and she doesnt like him either.  and I had to explain to him how i gotta pay for college (even though God provided the money for me so i dont have to anymore) why i'm doing this. So, I'd work at the resturant for 2 hours, run to his for another 5 and then back to the other job for 6 or 7 hours.  and I really work my butt off!! I'm a hard worker darn it. and This girl wrote a note like 2 days ago saying there wasnt enough towels. and this lady Brenda thats head of me got really mad and shes like "Shes trying to get you in trouble theres plenty of towels" and i'm like yeah.. every single towel is clean and folded up there that i spent hours doing.  and Then of course Ron would come over to me in the laundry and say GET TO WORK MOVE IT as I'm standing there folding a sheet and I wanna be like SHUT UP I WORK 2 FREAKIN JOBS AND I DONT EVEN HAVE TO BE HERE IF I DONT WANT TO. of course i never speak my mind.  So, today my boss was like "Are you awake cause you dont look it. You want this job? Cause I've been told your slow and your like a turtle gotta start moving" and I SWEAR i wanted to like attack him and be like go up to the damn laundry and see there isnt anything dirty cause its all  FREAKIN DONE and I WORK 12 HOUR DAYS EVERY FREAKIN DAY OF MY FREAKIN SUMMER SO DONT EVEN FREAKIN START WITH ME. I'm so mad. Brenda isnt here today so I'm gonna call her today.  I went up to the laundry room and there was one load to fold from yesterday cause i wasnt there, and so i did it and called grandma crying that i cant stand how i'm being treated when he doesnt even see how hard i work. No credit for it at all. and she said "Your an adult. You dont have to work for him.  You have another job that you love and you dont need to be treated like that by him" Darn it. I dont. Screw it. So, I did that and I went back to the office and i signed out and I walked out.  Tomorrow I work for the other job all day anyways but on friday I'm picking up my pay check at the hotel and telling them screw it i'm done. SCREW IT. SCRRREWWW ITTT ALLLLLLLLlll.

I called Brenda and told her what my boss said to me and shes like WHAT THE HELL. YOUR NOT SLOW WHO WOULD SAY THAT TO HIM. and shes mad and she doesnt blame me for being upset and leaving today. so she said to come in friday cause she'll get the scoop. She said that shes learning more and more about our Boss and hes not who she thought he was. and I've been seeing that too.

now i gotta go read my Bible cause i'm mad and angry and I need Jesus. A LOT.

and my aunt Jill needs prayer.  Shes going blind and no matter how many visits to Syracuse, no one knows whats wrong with her so now we gotta take her to Maryland to John Hopskins.  I'm interceding and praying for her healing. she also has a cronic cough along with it so that doesnt help. shes stressed and stays up all night crying.  Pray for healing. Its been going on like this for 2 years now.

So to update all of you readers... I am engaged and pregnant.

yay right?

actually I'm very happy about my news, but at the same time very saddened.

There are way too many things that have come up and not very many have been good ones.

the big question is "when are we getting married"

we both agreed on 2010. its best that way so at least our child by then will be old enough to be left alone (as in with a baby sitter) while we take an appropriate honeymoon.

but!!! now the question is what date. i've asked about 3 times. and finally had my mouth shut when he said he's not ready to set a date.

and that is not important to him to set a date right now.

i say this to all men out there. if you're not ready to set a date. then why get engaged? do you not know that a wedding and pregnancy are 2 of the most important things in a woman's life? i mean i have waited my whole life to get married and enaged. to only have it feel like a half assed commitment.

some words that hurt about this day were the words "i dont want to be a statistic." the others were "its not important to ME to set a date right now"

ok

so there goes that. i will not mention the infamous wedding anymore. i will tak about the pregnancy and how much i need you there with me right now.

another major reason why we are both working on getting him a new job. something that wont require him to work nights or weekends. like he does now. so i wont be home alone anymore like i have been for a year and half. and even more so now that i will be showing soon, and things are going to start to get a little harder for me to do from now on. but yet... he wants to take on a second job... club promoting. (which is not a family man's job) he says the money will be good it will help us out. and its "one night a week" (yeah for now). and he'll be out all NIGHT LONG AT A CLUB while his preggers fiancee is at home waiting on him.

is it me? or is that wrong? how fair and decent does that sound to you. i mean really. i'm blowing up like a balloon by the second and you want to be out at a club all night "promoting" b/c you think its good money?

why not work harder to get a BETTER DAY JOB so you can be there when i need you most?

is that irrational?

is that selfish?

he says he wants to be there for me and the baby. so how is making a few extra cash a night going to help IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BE THERE WHEN IT MATTERS MOST? the whole point of getting a new job for him and finding one, is b/c we want "normal" hours. he wants normal hours.

and now he wants to work at a club?

i've done club promoting for a long long time. and i know very well how the business works. and nothing good will come out of this, his pockets will be a little more full, as well as his schedule, which means less time at home, and less time to be there like he says he WANTS TO BE.

i'm tired. i'm frustrated. i'm recovering from bronchitis. and i'm down right out of patience. i'm running on the pure adrenaline of love... which this baby is giving me. daddy puts ideas in his head that make sense to him, and b/c mommy doesnt agree and opens her mouth to say so. its going to be a fight. and then mommy is the bitch for saying something and then it never fails for him to say "its always your way"

um hello?!

am i the only one seeing that this is not about me and this is about us? about our future? and the fact that yes i do need him there but wouldnt you want to be there especially at night if something happens or needs to be done for the baby? or for the person carrying the child that will need assistance? its enough that i will be back in school and working and to add to my ball of stress i will be living under his parents roof for the next 6 months for him. and for us to "save money for our home." and meanwhile. the one making the sacrifice hear is the one who needs to be comfortable but wont be.. BC ITS NOT MY HOME. how hard is it for people to understand that. ITS NOT MY HOME. NO ES MI CASA. its not my comfort zone. and i hate it. i hate the idea. i've hated it since day one. and again. i support his decision. and again i'm making the sacrifice for him. ugh.

someone throw me some ice cream or something to mellow me out. my eyes are full of tears and i think its best i just stop talking and just go on with it day by day till it falls to shambles b/c i can't say anything w/o it me being "negative" or "controlling." i want what is best for us ... and after a year and half what is best for us is to together and there with each other. not apart and lonely waiting up till the wee hrs of the night for the other to come home buzzed or drunk after a night out in a club.

I got that job I wrote about last month but I'm not in the clear yet. I still have to pass a certification test and I'm not so sure I can.

The job is to MIG weld on Stainlesss Steel which I haven't done yet. I know how to MIG I did it all last semester but I've never done Stainless yet and as for as I've heard stainless isn't the easiest to work with.

If I do pass the Cert Test the job will be full time nights with overtime at $12 a hour.

I'm going to do what I can to prep myself for it. I'm gonne study up on it and ask my pipe-fitter uncle if he has and pointers. But in all honesty I'm probably not going to pass it. I mean, there's a chance I will and I really hope I do. Maybe I'll get lucky

oo its so fun looking for a job, not. Then theres writing a CV thats a load of bullshit well mines just practicly lies. I filled in a form to work in Build a Bear Workshop at meadowhall, haha it will be the best ever -.-.

i have to get a job because i do 3 days of college a week, so my parents think thats a perfect oppertunity to get a job, when its not. Its not like im doing all that good a college anyway :| so more work wont make it any better really.