Good morning, 23.
On the calendar, you're already here, even though TECHNICALLY, you don't start until 6:25 tonight.  I guess that means I'm spending today in the weird 'end of 22/start of 23' limbo, the same one that happens every year during the daytime hours.
I'm hoping you're just a little bit better than 22.  I'm hoping that having a truly adult age to attach to the question, "how old are you?" (even if I'll ALWAYS act like I'm 7), some adult things will happen.  Maybe I'll be comfortable being Emily, whoever she is, and relax a little bit.  Maybe I'll keep my promise to not stay in every weekend.  Maybe I'll finally get the nerve to meet a guy and pursue something with it.  Maybe I'll believe I'm right sometimes, and not back down.  Maybe I'll really get to make a difference in somebody's life.  There are a lot of maybes floating around right now; I think that's a good thing.
So....
Welcome.



the song I WANTED to put here, "Jessie's Song (Optimistic Story)" isn't a track listing, but you can imagine...
http://elanaarian.com/listen.html 

uh oh. be careful what you wish for.

that's what i've figured out now

even if its not like wish on a star, ooh i just wish this would happen to me

even if, out loud, you wish for the exact opposite

be careful. even if its just an internal hope that you don't even put into words.

watch out.

 

because i wanted adam to like me.

and, secretly, i wanted him to ask me out

and he did.

and now i'm more confused than ever

 

because i do like him

a lot

but to date him after just breaking up with chris

that's way disrespectful

 

what if he thinks i don't like him though?

and like it's just an excuse?

because it isn't

i really want to get to know him a little better first too though

 

not rush into anything.

then figure out there's no way it'll work out.

wouldn't be the first time.

 

so yeah.

that's pretty much my dilemma.

rember thoes flowers you use to make wishes on?

you know the ones that went fron that ugly yellow flower that would show up in the hundreds in youre yard and then turn into that poofy kind?

(WELL IF YOU DONT YOUD BETTER STOP READING CUZ UR JUST NOT GONNA UNDERSTAND)

well i was told at a young age if you could blow all the fuzzy stuff off it in one breath and made a wish it would come true.

and i tryed

and tryed

and tryed

and when i did manage to blow them all off in one breath i would always wish the same thing.

it never did come true.

a wish upon a star is nothing more then a wish.

I FINALL REALIZED AFTER 18 YEARS WHY AM I DEPENDING ON A FLOWER TO MAKE MY DREAMS COME TRUE!!!!!   

ONLY I CAN DO THAT

NOT A FLOWER

NOT A WISH

NOT A DREAM.

i hope you all realize that too.

All About Me Survey Take This Survey at Quizopolis.com I Am myself I Want real happiness I Have more than most I Wish for many things I Hate stupidity I Fear lonliness I Hear laughter I Search for meaning I Wonder with amazment I Regret nothing I Love with all my heart I Ache when people I love are in pain I Always say a little prayer I Usually smile I Am Not without faults I Dance when the music moves me (despite the fact that I look ridiculous) I Sing constantly I Never say never I Rarely turn my back on a friend I Cry at the drop of a hat I Am Not Always serious I Lose everything I'm Confused about a lot of different things I Need to finish school and begin my life I Should be more brave like he wants me to Take This Survey at Quizopolis.com