What The Fuck @ MindSay

Dixie currently feels:

Bored

 

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I'm too lazy to write a blog today.

I'm 64 minutes late.

Another day has been missed.

How sad...

 

So here is...

Stolen from stormbearer ...

 

 

70 Questions Guaranteed You've Never Answered...

(In the last five minutes...)

 

 

1) Would you kill your neighbour?
- Of course not. The one to the left gives me boxes of toffees, and the one to the tight is Father Christmas in the supermarket every year. 


2) What's one word that describes your last fight?
- Violent.


3) What were you doing ten minutes ago?
- Colouring in some artwork. 


4) What's the last movie you saw?
- Stand By Me. 


5) What did your last text message say?
- My phone battery is dead, I can't check it. Devvoed. :)


6) Who have you talked to most today?

- Emily. The only one worth talking to.


7) Do you carve pumpkins every year?
- No. I hate Halloween.


8) Colour of your shirt? 
- Black. 


9) I'm always...
- Breathing.


10) Who is on speed dial 2?
- Mother's mobile.


11) What's your favorite season?
- Autumn.


12) How are you feeling right now? 
- It says at the top of my blog, dimwit. 


13) What did you do this weekend?
- Played Guitar Hero, chilled with Adam, wrote with Emily.


14) How many times have you moved?
- Zero.

15) What is the last thing you touched?
- My computer mouse.


16) Would you do anything for someone else?
- I'd do anything for Emily.


17) Have you ever been called a punk?
- Yeah.


18) Was yesterday better than today?
- I don't know.


19) What is your ring tone?
- Final Fantasy VII battle victory! --- Doo-doo-doo-do, dah-doo-da-doo!


20) Do you have a favourite number? 
- Fourteen. 


21) Are your grades good? 
- They are indeed. :) 


22) Do you hate anyone/anything?
- Many things.


23) Does your best friend have a MySpace?
- She does.


24) If you could meet anyone who would it be?
- Emily!!!


25) Last time you went out to lunch?
- No idea.

26) Do you have any music you're ashamed of?
- Yeah.


27) Have you ever gotten into a physical fight with a member of the opposite sex?
- I fight with lads more than I do girls. Lads are arseholes, see.


28) How old will you be in 2 months? 
- Still 16. 


29) Do you think you'll be married by then?
- I don't think so like.


30) Do you have one or more Britney Spears CDs?
- FUCK NO!


31) What did you do last night?
- Finished writing chapter 98 with Emily.


32) Are you a Lost fanatic?
- I'm not.


33) Do you have a song by Ozzy Osbourne in your library?
- Bark At The Moon, and some by Black Sabbath.


34) Do you ever sing in the shower?
- Sometimes.


35) What's your favorite movie?
- Amélie.


36) Why is your relationship status the way it is?
- Because nobody wants me?


37) Do people ever spell your name wrong?
- Yes. Pisses me right off.

38) Do you believe everyone has a soul-mate?
- I didn't, until I met Emily. :)

39) Can you sing?
- A little.


40) When was the last time you cried?
- Yesterday.


41) Are you ever a freak about cleanliness or organization?
- Slightly. Especially with PC files.


42) Have you ever been to South America or Africa?
- Nope.


43) Do you know how to knit?
- No. Knitting is for grans. :)


44) Do you have a job?
- Nope, I'm a scrounger student.

45) Is there anything currently bothering you?
- Having to correct Yank spellings in these questions...! 


46) What are you doing right now besides this survey?
- Breathing.


47) Do you know how to play poker?
- Wouldn't have a clue.

48) Baskin Robins or Coldstone?
- You what?


49) Physics or Chemistry?
- Biology; just to be awkward. :D

50) Facebook or MySpace?
- MYSPACE! I HATE Facebook with A PASSION.


51) Do you wear any jewelry?
- Chokers, braclets, necklaces, spikes.


52) What is the color of your bedroom walls?
- Shitty lilac.


53) When do you prefer to take a shower, morning or night?
- Night.


54) Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, or Star Wars?
- NONE!


55) Fly or road trip?
- Fly! Cars suck.

56) Batman, Spiderman, Superman, Tanner Vineyard, or Shalayna Hatcher?
- None of the above.


57) What's your favorite Disney movie?
- Mulan.


58) What are your plans for tonight?
- After this; SLEEP...

 

 

 

THAT WAS NOT 70 QUESTIONS.

THAT WAS 58 QUESTIONS.

 

58 DOES NOT LOOK LIKE 70.

 

 

SOMEBODY CAN'T FUCKING COUNT.

 

(I mean no harm to anybody, except the one who made the quiz originally. :D)

Dixie currently feels:

Despairing

 

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Good things about today:

 

- We had a fire drill at break, and got 10 minutes extra because of it, hence, missing 10 minutes of Science.

 

- Science was a piss easy lesson.

 

- I got my results for my Science resit exam; an A, so I'm quite pleased.

 

- I got another bit of #1263 artwork finished in the library.

 

- I came home and played iSketch with Miraan, Adam, Ayshea and Stephen. It was fun, we had laughs.

 

- I talked to Adam for ages over MSN, sending each other really hilarious sound files.

 

- I laughed so much at a screenshot from our iSketch game, I almost crapped my pants. - Really, I was totally touching cloth. :)

 

[Though you may ask what's good about that one, I like to laugh, regardless of the consequences.]

 

 

Bad things about today:

 

- Results of my ICT exam, totally not happy. Two grades lower than I wanted.

 

- Thus, I have now given up on ICT.

 

- Thus, making only 3 out of 9 subjects that I still give a shit about.

 

- Coursework deadlines are indeed, stressing me out.

 

- I was tired throughout the whole day.

 

- I cried down my aisle after school, but Sammie comforted me.

 

- Claire is ignoring me. She seems really angry at me, and I don't know what I've done. I think she doesn't like me anymore.

 

- Emily isn't back... I haven't heard from her at all. No Mindsay comments, no emails, no anything...

 

...Where is my darling Emilpops......?

 I'm sorry he feels like he's wasting his time. I know he said he was joking...but I just got that feeling, you know? It just cuts me deeply, and I'm not sure how to handle it. I hate cyring over stupid things that don't really matter. 

I mean, he doesn't have to be an asshole all the time, does he?  Not that he's an asshole to me. He's not. He's really sweet to me. But he'll almost just ignore me when we're around people. I guess I understand why he says he's doing it, but still. What the fuck? And what is it with his shitty comments about Celeste all the time? I know she's not the coolest person in the world, but he doesn't have to be so rude every time she walks into a room.

And why the hell did he start smoking again? It's nasty, and I hate it.  He knows it bothers me, too. That just pisses me off even more. He asked me if it would bother me, and I told him it would. But he started up again, anyway. And what is it with those fucking sleeping pills? God, why are there so many things that he does that bothers me? Why do I even stay around? Why am I still sleeping with him? Why am I such a dumbfuck? Why can't I ever have a relationship go right? Hell, this isn't even a real realtionship. Not officially. He was right. He did hurt me. And he's still hurting me. And I'm letting him. I'm helping him. I'm so fucked up.

 

Am I wasting my time?

Am I wasting his time?

 

Am I just "another woman to bone"? God, I feel like it. What the fuck made me think this could actually work? Why the fuck would I think anyone would  actually want to be with me? How the fuck did I let myself think that everything would be the way I wanted it to be? Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with me?

And why the hell am I sitting here crying over him? There's not even anything for me to cry over! 

And once again, I've realized that I haven't really eaten in over a week. That's usually one of the many signs that I've fucked up again.

But this is a big fuck up that I can't take back.

 

I'm just so scared I'm going to end up alone, with everyone I love hating me, leaving me. I'm going to be abandoned by everyone. Like it's been my entire life. Fuck it all.

who are you...whispering jibberish

why are you here...licks lips

where am I...covers ears

what is this place...more jibberish

why am I here...covers face with hoodie

what did I do...fucking shut up...

when did I do that...rubs snot onto sleeve

what did you say...whispers more fucking jibberish

why did you say it...licks lips again

when are you going...continues licking lips

why did I say it...looks at snot on sleeve

what am I doing...picks it up and eats it

where am I going...jibberish continues

 

 

 

this was a conversation overheard by me...there was only one other person, and I wasn't talking.

 

  Damn...unmedicated schizophrenics scare me...

 

 

fuck me.

 

n