Weird @ MindSay

Okay. It didn't help that I couldn't sleep at all last night and then I tried to nap this afternoon but that was interupted by the Casey Anthony not-guilty verdict (I shouldn't have turned on the news) because I was curious if my predictions about the case would come true. Not that I keep track of every prediction I make, but that case was so tainted by media coverage that it was very easy to convict Casey based on public opinion alone. I just didn't foresee her getting the death penalty, but what I do foresee is more death hanging on her head. I wouldn't be surprised if Casey gets killed shortly after she is released from prison. Not guilty or not, her life and her family are destroyed. I don't beleive the public will be forgiving. But that's not what disturbs me tonight. Maybe I watched too much Twilight Zone yesterday or maybe I just didn't get out enough today. By the time I finally fell asleep it was after 4pm and I only slept until 8pm, just four hours of sleep. Before I fell asleep I promised myself I would get some drawing finished or maybe take a walk. But the street lights are OUT. It is PITCH BLACK outside. It's like someone laid out a blanket of darkness over my apartment complex. Weird.

I start to feel like I woke up in the Twilight Zone. This afternoon while the Casey Anthony verdict was read, a brief strong storm blew in. It was like Mother Nature was providing extra drama with all the thunder booming. I took a video of the little monsoon. I'll have to post it when I'm feeling more like myself.

I've been feeling very reclusive and unmotivated, stuck in this nothing world where my only connection to the outside world is via the internet and cable television. With limited contact with people I start to fall into a zombie-like haze and I just weep and weep and WEEP. And then I sleep... The sleep brings an escape to me but then I get stuck in my dreams for a little while and waking brings back reality too harshly. I haven't seen a single soul in my neighborhood today. In the distance there was someone cutting grass and there was no traffic. I didn't even see my neighbors milling about. Of course it was stormy this afternoon and early evening, something I slept through, so waking up... Well. And the only way I hear from my friends is on Facebook or here?

There's an unreality to it. I start to feel more isolated. I begin to get very, very, VERY lonely. The kind of lonely that happens to shut-ins. I'm determined to shake off this darkness tomorrow. I have a doctor's appointment, that should give me some incentive to get out.

I start to get nostaligic. I remember happier times when I had a busy load of friends to see and plenty of business to do. What happened to the person I used to be? Who am I now? And where is my life headed? I can make predictions about strangers, but me? When I'm in this darkness, this too calm, quiet, enfolding, womb-like errie darkness, all I can do is continue to retreat and wait for the clouds to part. I hope for hope itself.

So I told him he smelt good on his own without any product smells and scents. And he goes to have a shower and doesn't bring his shampoo or anything, and I ask him why, and he says, well you said you like it better without.

Does that seem wierd to you? I mean I know he's silly, but I didn't think he'd actually go to the shower and not use his shampoo and stuff, just because I said he smells good scent-free.

This was a long time ago, but it's been in my head a few times, along with some other things but I can't think of them right now. I can't find any information on any disorder it might be, maybe he's just silly.

He went back to using it after, but I still find it wierd he'd do that, just because I said that!

Thoughts?

It is so weird.  Today I went to this Walmart that I go to every now and then when I am on that side of town and saw about 4 people I know. One was this guy I knew in Elementary school, the second and third were two guys I knew from high school (whom I was very excited to see), and the fourth a girl that I met at a party. Hmm its so interesting. Every time I go to this particular Walmart I see at least a few people I know...  Its a small world.