Weeding @ MindSay

I am trying to be an organic gardener. It's partly an ethical good for the earth thing but there is this streak in me from the 1960's Whole Earth Catalog that says everyone should have basic survival skills that don't hurt the earth but allow us to thrive. With that philosophy in mind I took a glass on edible plants so I could forage safely.
I learned how to start a fire for warmth; I made sure I could preserve my own food - although I don't that much-  and I learned not to use pesticides and chemicals in my garden. I confess to using some pellets that make the earth more alkaline under my many camellias and rhododendrons. and I add something to the composter that speeds up the process of making dirt.

But I weed by hand. It's a comforting and soothing activity. I put on one of three pair of gardening trousers, knees pads, washable gardening clogs, long socks, rubber covered garden gloves and a broad brimmed straw hat with a chin strap so it doesn't fall off as I climb around in the under story of the yard which is becoming a naturalists dream. . I have my hand tools in a gardening bucket filled with nooks and pockets- I keep it right inside the door near the boot trays and cat leashes... and go out and pick at each clump of grass, dandelion  or chickweed that I can find.  It's funny about weeds because some of them I cultivate:  the wood violets and the storks bill alone because while they are weeds to others I love them and they fill in the spaces so well and have such wonderful flowers. and occasionally a tree blows in- that's how we got two of the vine maples along the studio's  southern wall.  sometime it's worth it to let a plant alone for a season as it might do something interesting and you'll like it.

It's the same thing that makes me mend clothing with interesting and perfectly placed little patches and it's a small way of making the universe right when things go awry. And heaven knows that happens a lot.

Oh dear, I think I really over did it today.  I had the best of intentions to not overwork my hands, but ended up hurting everything!  My legs and arms were shaking by the time I was done and I was huffing and puffing.    Way outta shape!  (Yes, I need to get back to the gym.)  I started pulling the stupid weeds out of the ground, but had to give up on that pretty quick.  Even though I watered the ground so they'd come out easier, they still didn't want to move.  I don't know what they are, but they're huge and wiry and so strong I think you could weave rope out of them. 

I really should learn to not bite off more than I can chew and then beat myself up for not finishing.  Instead of shutting down when I was all over-fatigued in arms and legs, I kept on and attacked the salt ceder that I've been trying to kill for 10 years.  It just won't die!  I've used a whole bottle of Roundup, stump killer, vine and brush killer and most other things you can imagine.  Kill one limb with one of the aforementioned items, and another limb will start somewhere else.  On researching salt cedars, it would appear they are quite a pest and incredibly hard to kill.  Apparently we have to saw it down to ground level and then pour roundup over the stump.  I'd prolly add stump killer and vine and brush killer to the mix just to be sure...

I'll bet I'm going to be awful sore tomorrow.  Not looking forward to that, I can tell ya!  It's a half day at work tomorrow afternoon with a PT appt in the morning. 

We had group session with horses yesterday and it was hit or miss for me.  I think I misunderstood some stuff we were expected to do.  Not sure if it was my misunderstanding or their lack of explanation.  To sum up, I pissed the horse off and nearly got kicked.  We were supposed to communicate our intentions to the horse that we wanted her to move around the ring.  It showed me that I try to push too hard when trying to get things accomplished and my intent isn't necessarily obvious to everyone.  What I saw as the horse not moving more than maybe 10% around the ring, everyone else saw 90% or more.  What I saw as total failure and feeling bad about the horse being mad, the others saw as complete success and me pushing for more than I had to.  (And the horse being run a few laps around the ring as a discipline for not acting w/manners around a human)

All the time of my dad pushing for me to always to be perfect.  Do it right.  Do it his way.  Don't fuck up.  Don't be stupid.  I still beat myself up and hear his voice and judgmental attitude in my head.  I'm completely hyper self-critical and have the hardest time re-wording things so they aren't critical of myself and others.  Especially myself.  I think it took me 5 minutes to think of a way to say I was successful yesterday w/out saying something sarcastic or playing down the success.

A long day yesterday. Up at 4:30 a.m. and in CPR class promptly at 8:00 a.m. in Medford.  After CPR .... First Aid ..... out at 4:30 p.m. and home around 6:30 p.m.  I literally laid down .... fell asleep and slept till Joe woke me up to go outside around 2:00 a.m.   Have just now felt like getting motivated to do anything ... including turning on the computer.  With this traning completed I can now go to work .... 8 hours of onsite training ..... but I'll be getting paid .... what a concept.    Now I just have to hear when that will be ..... soon, I hope.

Have a few more flowers to get in the ground today ..... and of course weeding .... the never ending weeding .... I've been working pretty hard to get this done and still have more flower beds to go than I care to think about.  Think I'll wait till next week to buy more flowers ..... give myself a break for a day or two .... and just weed.

Have been snapping a few pic's around the yard for mom's new toy .... digital photo frame ..... and since I'm kind of lacking for anything humorous or even a rant to write about .... it's picture time.  Springtime at my house ....











Have a happy Sunday all .....

Peace.  J.