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Wedding @ MindSay


Am I Overreacting??
Ok so wedding drama *eye roll*.
One of my bridesmaids is getting married 2 weeks before Pete and I. Her and her fiance are in our wedding party, but only Pete is in theirs.
So although she's getting married first, I am much more organized and got most of my girls together to go dress shopping, herself included.
We picked out the most gorgeous dress for the bridesmaids (and myself, but that's not the purpose of this entry).
Once we all get home from the appointment, she sends me a link to buy online bridesmaid dresses. Thanks but no thanks, that is too risky for me.

Anyways, she goes dress shopping with her bridesmaids a month later, fine whatever.
So I'm texting her 2 nights ago asking how it went, and lo-and-fucking-behold SHE WANTS TO GET THE SAME BRIDESMAID DRESS FOR HER GIRLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think that is absolute bullshit. And when I tried to niceley explain how I find that weird and it makes me uncomfortable, she answers with "you can't pick out my bridesmaids dresses". WTF?! Are you serious?! YOU CAN'T COPY ME!
She also tried to tell me that this is the ONLY dress that looks good on her "bigger" girls. Like excuse me?! This is not the 1 and only dress on the face of the earth that looks good on big girls as well.

Am I being bridezilla right now or is she being shady as fuck?!

Like I feel like people are going to attend her wedding/see pictures and then 2 weeks later I'm going to have mine and people will be like "why did Shavonn copy her?".

Everyone I've talked to thinks she's being a copy cat and is pulling a low blow.
Like I get there will be other weddings with the same dress. BUT to come to my appointment and want the same dress for your girls, when you're in my bridal party?! Really? Like really??

And there are other wedding things that she'll ask me what I'm doing or who I've hired and then she'll do the same... Like ok it's one thing to ask for suggestions, but do your own damn research!!


Wedding planning is STRESSFUL!!!!
The big step we had to do was booking a venue and date. We weren't set on a date, just Summer 2016.
We decided on Fort William Historical Park (check it out, beautiful place) as the hall will accommodate our huge guest list (it's currently at 284 people ughh) and the ceremony can be outdoors but if it rains it can  be indoors instead. July 8, 2016. Exactly 1 week after our anniversary of when we started dating, Canada Day (AKA July 1) 2009.
So I thought, with date and place set everything else should be easy right? WRONG!!!
We booked our photographer fairly easily. Diamond Road Photography. They're an extremely reasonable price and we get two amazing photographers! They were awesome and fun when we met them, and they're photos come out so beautiful.
Anyways, the real struggle has been picking colours!!!!!!!!!!!! I cannot for the life of me decide on what colours we should do!!! Pete's pretty flexible and seems okay with anything, but for me I just can't seem to pick. Yes I've been on Pintrest and all sorts of other sites, I just can't seem to decide!!
A couple of my bridesmaids and I saw a gorgeous blue dress that we all really liked for them to wear, and when I checked on the designers website the dress only comes in blue, red or white.... White is not an option (sorry girls, I'll be the only one in white). Red doesn't seem very summer wedding-esque, so then there's this gorgeous blue....
I know I shouldn't base my wedding colours off of a bridesmaid dress... BUT blue and orange (according to the colour wheel) and complimentary colours, so apparently they look good together (I struggle to see colours that go well together lol). But at the same time, purple is my all-time FAVOURITE colour, and according to the colour wheel, purple and yellow compliment each other. Now I'm not a huge fan of yellow though! 
I originally wanted purple and silver/grey, but that seems really over done.

Who would have thought I would get this worked up over a bunch of colours when there is so many other things to plan?! LOL
But, I feel like I can't figure out flowers or cake until I know colours and theme.
WHAT ARE THEMES FOR WEDDINGS EVEN?! All I see are like "shabby-chick" or "rustic" themes for weddings. WHAT THE FACK?!
The struggle is real.

Wedding Vows
I've been trying to figure out what to write in my wedding vows, and it's been steadily going downhill. 

I started with: 
Alex, I give to you everything I am and everything I will ever be. I value our love beyond measure. I promise to share your dreams and help you achieve your goals, and to share my dreams in turn. I will never stand behind you or in front of you, but always beside you. I will listen to you with an open heart and an open mind- pledging my honesty, compassion, fidelity and forgiveness. I promise to always be your most loyal friend and your loving wife. You are my heart and my soul, my soulmate, now and forever.

But that didn't seem personal enough, so I changed it to this:
Alex, I take you to be my husband. I promise to share in your dreams, to help you to achieve your goals, and to share my dreams and goals in turn. I vow to love you unstintingly, always with honesty, compassion, fidelity, and love.  I promise to always be your most loyal friend and your loving wife. You are my heart and my soul, my soulmate. And if you ever become immortal, I promise to join you.

Well, that was awkward. A bit better, but it just doesn't seem to flow right. Maybe if I find a poem, and modify it to be relevant?
Alex. I choose you;
in a hundred lifetimes,
in a hundred worlds,
in any version of reality, 
I'll find you and
I'll choose you.



Been a While - Updates
Hi-ho, ladies and gentlemen!  I've been reading your things, and not contributing.  That's selfish.  So, here are things you didn't want to know about me that I'm going to write about anyway.  My life has not actually become much more interesting, but I am documenting it anyway.  Lucky people!

-- Michaela's wedding is ONE MONTH FROM TODAY.  I am shit-my-pants excited AND terrified of this prospect.  Firstly, I have to be A FULL GIRL for this occasion; make-up, hair done, manicure/pedicure, A DRESS, 5-inch heels...  This is not who I am.  This should not seem like such a big deal, but it is so far outside my comfort zone, I get a bit anxious imagining it.
On top of that, I have to do silly things like be in pictures.  This is something I hate a lot.  I am super super self-conscious and usually turn away from pictures and/or run away so I'm not even in the background.  As a bridesmaid, however, I have a feeling I have to be in a few of them.

-- Michaela's Bachelorette party is on SATURDAY.  Holy frijoles; this is another 'have-to-be-a-girl' moment.  We will see how it goes.  But the night should be pretty damn good (barring Lisa and Becky going at it - the tension is THIIIIICK).  Hotel on the Lower East Side, dinner at Lucky Chang's (a drag show, if you were not up on my name-dropping :) ), and then bar-hopping down there until whenever we feel like we're done.  I am being mature and not missing work on Friday, so I am going to NY on Saturday, arriving around 4 and leaving around 3:30.  Not even a full 24 hours, but they WILL be full. Of fun.

-- For the Bachelorette, I felt beyond weird trying to pick out sexy clothes or anything for a gift, EVEN if we've been good friends since 3rd grade.  Well, Victoria's Secret a few months ago was giving away 'bride' thongs, so I got one of those and she's getting that, but I dunno.  Everything else felt weird.  SO, I decided to make her a gift.  I bought a HUGE bottle of painkillers (aspirin, ibuprofen, etc.).  I took the real label off, and created my own, pretending it was marketed exclusively for brides-to-be planning their wedding.  It came out pretty cute.  Well, last night, I was like 'I want to keep it safe from smudging; let me coat it with ModPodge'.  This was NOT A GOOD IDEA.  The parts I used Sharpie on were fine; my other markers, not so much :(.  So now, it's a big smudgy nightmare (irony??) and I have two more days to figure out if I can accept that and gift it as is, or find another way to re-label it.  Except the ModPodge also made it bumpy.  So...there's that.

-- Julia, a colleague at school, had her baby girl May 1st.  She was due May 12th.  There was some scary stuff (written about on other blog.  99% sure I wrote about it), and she and her husband aren't being super communicative with anyone from work, but the general trickle-down is that the baby is okay and they're home and that's a relief.  I hope all is TRULY good; I wish I could reach out to her and see if I can be helpful in any way.  I have been covering for her while she is on maternity leave.  I have a weird mix of so much to do, and then, sometimes I feel like I don't at all.  I am really liking having a lot of kids again. So far in 2013 I went from 2, to 1, and now up to I think its 14.  And there are others who come in, but don't see me.  I have two writing groups, my intensive reading student (more on her in a minute! Heart fluttering!), 2 other pretty intensive reading students, and a rowdy math group.  I've felt like a jerk the last few days because we've been reviewing all that might be on the state math test today and Friday, and it's clearly SO MUCH HIGHER than the math they're used to doing, so they weren't too thrilled to start with.  Especially one girl, but she's come around.  And I have recess duty with 1st and 2nd grade 3 days a week, and that's pretty great.  I get to meet the younger kids I don't know, as well as spend time with kiddos that I know from other places.  A girl who keeps telling me she has rabies (Seth D's sister), for example.  Or, finding out that one of my FAVORITE KIDS EVER, AR, her middle name is ESTELLE.  IT'S FUCKING ESTELLE.  And she's letting me call her Estelle.  She is SO different from both her brother and sister, it's remarkable - she might win favorite.  And a boy I know from camp who is SUUUUUCH a little fire-cracker.  He is fearless; not always a good thing, but I looove him and his brother.  They've dealt with so much in their short lives (I mean, he's maaaaaaaaaaybe 7, and he's had to deal with his dad dying of cancer and his house burning down...), and are both great, funny kids.

-- Ah; my one student.  This is the girl I've known for years and been the teacher of before.  She has grown up SO MUCH since she was in 3rd grade (she's in 5th now), and we've figured her out so much more, so she's really in a place where she can be ready for learning (cue 'Hallelujah Chorus' music).  So, the district bought two programs to use with her.  One is a preschool level of a phonics-y, hit lots of subjects program that is all PDF files online (and, which I couldn't use for WEEEEKS because my comp login couldn't open PDF files! SO DUMB).  Now, I don't know why we got her this, when they had an IEP meeting in December and were like 'she needs life skills?'  'she needs whole-language, not phonics', but ... I have to use (parts) of this program with her.
The other program is strictly reading, 100% whole-language, and she is doing SO FUCKING WELL with it.  I cannot stress to you, this child was a non-reader (I would say, technically would still qualify as one).  She does not spell with 100% accuracy most of the time (and she's 12.  And it's only 5 letters long).  She's a very limited child, and the program requires A LOT of memory, so I was super skeptical, but we're now 11 words into the program, and she can read them!  I mean, that doesn't sound like much, that she can read "I see a yellow ball and a horse", but for her, this is like reading a novel.  I still don't know why the program teaches in the order it does (one would think a student would learn to recognize the word 'the' before she learned the word 'airplane', at least I would), but whatever; it's working!  And people who know her (the whole building knows her!) who stop in and hear her read ... it's awesome.  She's read to her whole class; not like, when she used to hold a book and just make up a funny story, but these short, prescribed the-words-are-really-the-words stories.  I get choked up a lot.

-- I've started a pottery class! I think I wrote about that last time I was here, but it didn't happen.  Low enrollment.  Well, it started last week finally. Except, I was pretty sure that the previous email had said 'we'll try again in summer', so I was 20 minutes away shopping for groceries when my dad called and said, "Molly left a message here saying tonight is your first class".  I only got there 40 minutes late.  Whoops.  Made a tilted mug with a slightly-crooked handle.  Was fun, though.  Tomorrow will be great.

-- However, going to class tomorrow means missing the annual BSE Art Show.  It's not ACTUALLY a big deal, because the art hangs in the hallway for weeks (and then it's depressing when it comes down!), so I can walk around and admire like always, but I can't miss class just for it.  I've baked banana bread for the cause, though, and if I get my act together, some oatmeal cookies, 'cause the banana bread will serve maybe 16.  I have to be honest and say that for the most part, the artwork isn't as good as it was a few years ago, but it's still pretty good.  I don't wanna knock the current art teacher's approach/skill, because she's amazing.  But... I'll try to get pictures up on Flickr so if you care, you can see what kids were producing a few years ago versus what's coming out now (and several of them are the same projects, like the cardinal paintings, so you can really see how it compares.

-- Nance just called asking if I can sleep at her house and take care of her cats for 10 days while she goes to Italy.  Personally, I think she should just take me to Italy with her, but sure. I can cat-sit : )

-- I've been sending cards out LIKE WHOA.  Nessa, Courtney, you know what I'm talking about :).  It's a good feeling, even if it's not as immediate as a technologically-enhanced correspondence.  There's something about it that feels... private?  Or more intimate? 

-- I heffing LOVE baseball season!

I'm his wife!!!!
I got married this past Monday!!!! My mom finally came around and she's okay with it. She's still not super happy, but at least she's not going to kick me and Faylinn out. She was cool about it, she even bought me a dress. Jakey bought me shoes, a Sons of Anarchy hoodie, and a pretty knife (this one, in blue) as wedding presents, even though i told him not to. The wedding was just a simple trip to the courthouse and we went to dinner after. I love being able to call him my husband. Today, he's starting a new job that pays $9 an hour, 10 hour days, I think 4 days a week. That would be like 1400 a month, enough for an okay apartment and food and all that, but I guess we'll see. He only has to pay like $175 for birthing cost for Faylinn, then we're done with the child support people. I'm really happy with how things are going.

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