Watermelon @ MindSay 
food
I know this is ridiculous, but people are often insecure about things that they shouldn't be insecure about. Today I experienced one of those moments of absurd insecurity. Tonight I worked at the church. I work at the church every second Friday of the month because there is a Parents of Pre-Schoolers (P.O.P.S.) meeting. They do a pot luck dinner with a theme and tonight's theme was "Breakfast for Dinner." I am one of those people who LOVES breakfast for dinner.
Anywho, after I piled my plate full of breakfast caserole and grits, I spied a fruit tray. The fruit looked really good, especially the watermelon. The watermelon was cut into such thin slices, that I put about six slices on my plate. As I was about to put another slice on my plate, I looked and one of the church members who happened to be white was waiting patiently and smiling. I got of mental picture of what I must have looked like piling watermelon on my plate fused with horrible stereotypical paintings and figures of black people grinning and eating watermelon. I had to quell my desire to put the watermelon back. That woman was probably going to hit that fruit tray harder than I just did.
I had to laugh at myself for my moment of insecurity, but I KNOW I'm not the only person who's had a moment of stupidity akin to this.
Whole watermelons stored at room temperature deliver more cell-protecting antioxidants (specifically lycopene and beta carotene) than refrigerated or freshly picked melons. Here's why.
| After it's picked, watermelon continues to ripen and build up antioxidants. Cold temperatures appear to cut this process short. So leave your watermelon out, as long as you haven't sliced it. After it's cut, it should be stored in |
|
For an ice-cold treat, chill the fruit right before serving.
And don't forget to wash your watermelon before cutting it to avoid this.
We've all been there but don't like to admit it. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work.
CROP DUSTING: When farting, you walk briskly around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn't know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your pants.
FLY BY:
This is the act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.
ESCAPEE:
This is a fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of
embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal,
pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel
uneasy.
JAILBREAK:
When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.
COURTESY FLUSH:
The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poop hits the water. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.
WALK OF SHAME:
Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. This very uncomfortable walk can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.
OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER:
This is a colleague who poops at work and is damn proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under his or her arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.
THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (P.F.N):
A group of co-workers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the hereabouts of Out Of The Closet Poopers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.
SAFE HAVENS:
A Safe Haven is a seldom-used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.
TURD BURGLAR:
This is someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poop at work If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.
CAMO-COUGH:
A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall is called a Camo-Cough. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. The Camo-Cough is very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.
ASTAIRE:
A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.
WATERMELON:
A watermelon is a big poop that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.
HAVANA OMELET:
A case of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an Astaire.
UNCLE TODD:
An Uncle Todd is a bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. This person could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Todd makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to poop when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as other bathroom attendees.
OMG- I have not had a decent watermelon in over a year- had nearly given up on buying any ever again as I have thrown too many away after the first disappointing piece. Decided to try a seedless melon from Mexico that beckoned at the store today- worried that it was too early in the season- but took the chance. Nirvana! Sweet, wet, flavorful beyond description. The perfect end to the day- just had to share!
Posted to Everyone
Click here to escape
In Case Of Teacher,
Kids, Spouse, or Boss
Hi Everyone! Hey if the first post you can view, below this one is titled "ARE WE FRIENDS, OR WHAT?" then you really should read it, cause it's there just for you.
Now for everyone else, if you can't view that post, not to worry, just as long as you can view chapter 13 of "SOMEONE ELSE'S BEACH VACATION" cause that means that you're already on the view all posts list.
That is unless you're a new reader, cause if you are I might not have gotten you onto the read all posts lists yet.
MERRY CHRISTMAS, and HAPPY HANUKAH
♥ Wendy
Showing 1 - 5. [ Next ]
