Watch Your Mouth @ MindSay

me: you won't watch Freaky Friday with me and i just watched a torturing Shaaaaaft movie with you?

@@: watch yur mouth...he's a baaad mother.....

me: ugh!...i hate when you say that and you are being so unfair right now!

@@: fine....i'll watch it monkey brat

me:  see?  freaky friday was fun.....you laughed a few times....i have a question

@@: oh boyeee

me: If someone put a gun to your head and said you had to pick a husband now...who would it be...it has to be robert, paul or carlos...

@@: and obvious...not even slightly slick way to find out who i may be seeing...

me: wait..but you had to smother one...

@@: to death....or just smother him?

me: duh....to death!

@@: but i don't wanna kill anybody..well...

me: well, what if they put a gun to my head and said choose now!

@@: robert and carlos

me: huh...you'd kill robert and marry carlos?

@@: no...i'd kill carlos and marry robert

me: WHAT!!!???....why?

@@: cuz carlos is too jealous of women....and he'd never want me around you.....and i'm not leaving you....okay...is that what you wanted to hear?

me: no....i was really trying to see who you liked....i thought you were gonna say paul and carlos...robert seems too much like you.....why not paul?

@@: because  he's....he's alright but he's a kid....he's 24 and acts 10...you're way more mature...in a lot of ways...and it's cool to be with someone who's a lot like you.....in my opinion

me: i thought opposites attract.....and i thought you liked shaping them up....

@@: whipping them into shape....not raising them...big diff!

me: little antho...i mean ANTHONY...talks like you now....he's always saying big diff

watch your mouth, it could cut your heart,

watch your step you could could fall  from grace.

force a smile upon your face,

act smart, act nice.

this is what i do everyday, pretend like i'm perfectly fine.

but inside i'm broken like pieces of glass,if only you could see the caricaure.

pick me up, when i fall back, hold my hand that's all i ask

but pieces of me are thrown about, in somewhere i couldnt say.

watch your mouth it could cut your heart, i know you do it everytime.

Sometime last week I let Magpie eat a dog biscuit.  I didn’t hand it to her, nor did I encourage the consumption of said dog biscuit but once I noticed that she had it grasped firmly in her little fist with one end buried deep in her jaw I didn’t try to take it from her.  What I did do was get up and grab both the camera and the box of dog biscuits to see what the ingredients were.  After determining that the All Natural dog biscuit was rather healthy and probably better for her than the Apple Jack cereal she consumes by the handfuls, I sat back down to finished my lemon drop.  I also resolved to get the Minty Fresh All Natural dog biscuits next time so that we could kill 2 birds with one stone and stop wrestling with her every night to get her teeth brushed.  Then I took pictures some of which I posted here for your viewing pleasure.

About once a week or so I will send out an email along with photo’s to update family members on Precious Magpie’s progress in life.  Now you would think that getting “In the Life of a Magpie” article from me almost every week would let them peek at our parenting abilities.  That and the fact that they have known me for 12 yrs and have seen me raise my boys.  Last week the photos of the dog biscuit eating baby were included with a rather humorist update sent out to family and friends.  The next day I get a rather concerned email message from Mr. H’s cousin, who happens to be 2 yrs older than I and has 2 grown kids, wondering if we’ve made the right decision in letting Magpie chew on a dog biscuit.

I can’t begin to describe how enraged I felt at having my parenting skills questioned!!!!!

Especially since my 2 boys have turned out to be much better people than her two children.  Our children are close to the same ages and her oldest doesn’t even talk to her anymore.  So I took a day or two to calm down before I replied to her email of concern.  My reply was rather tame or at least it was much tamer than it would have been if I had fired one off right after getting her parenting skills 101 email.  In it I list the ingredients on the side of the box of dog biscuits just to ensure her that we weren’t feeding Magpie rat poison or pecan hulls and then I kindly reminded her that while Magpie might be her first second cousin she was by no means my first child and since I had somehow managed to stumble through parenthood and raise my other two to adulthood, or nearly adulthood, that I was pretty sure I could manage with Magpie.  If she had any questions or concerns about my ability to raise Magpie without killing her or ripping an arm off then she should proceed directly to Child Protective Services, do not pass GO, do not collect $200.

Yesterday I got an email back from her expressing astonishment at the tone of my reply to her and stating that she hoped she didn’t make me mad.  My question to her is:

THEN WHAT THE HELL DID YOU HOPE TO HAPPEN WHEN YOU OUTRIGHT QUESTION MY PARENTING SKILLS IN MY DECISION TO LET MY DAUGHTER DO SOMETHING.

Ladies – this is what is commonly referred to as a “Mommy Drive-By”.

I don’t agree with ANY of her parenting skills, but haven’t ever corrected or criticized her – not even once, not even a hint.  See I respect the fact that we all have different parenting skills and I may not agree with the way you are raising your child, but as long as the child is loved and not being hurt then it isn’t my place to tell you what I think you are doing wrong.  I might come here and bitch about something you’ve done, but I won’t ever correct you with you own children.

I’m going to be childish and have removed her from my list of people who will get Magpie updates from now on.