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Walmart Sucks @ MindSay

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i hate walmart

walmart

chicanegrl86

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How I hate WalMart, let me count the ways...

(censor-strips have been imposed to protect what little privacy I have)

Fear and Loathing in WalMart by Tabitha

I stared at the photoless student card in my hand that, once supplied with a photo, would garner me with great discounts while visiting Europe. Grimacing at the thought of having to take yet another passport type photo (in which I always manage to look stoned without even one puff of grass), I tugged on my ratty green hoodie and hopped into my old Dodge. After a brief moment in which I contemplated all the possible locations that supply passport photos, I decided, naturally, on the cheapest: WalMart. The WalMart in DeKalb is situated in between two major roads, both of which are currently undergoing major construction. But I wasn't about to allow a destroyed Route 23 to hold me back from purchasing the cheapest passport photos I could. Little did I know, as I shook and rattled down 23 towards WalMart, that I was really on the road to Hell. Had I known that at the time, perhaps things would have turned out differently.

That is how the story began. The photo lady at WalMart (whom I only found after being directed all over the damn store by various imcompentent employees who had absolutely no knowledge of the layout of the store that supplies their paychecks) had no idea what she was doing.

First off let me explain the place in WalMart where you get passport photos taken. It is not, misleadingly, the photo center (which is on one side of the building), but the photo hut (which is on the opposite side of the building). Why they do not have the photo center and photo hut next to each other, or even near each other, is because WalMart is the 10th circle of Hell. Dante conveniently died before he was able to mention it but this is what I think he would have said:

To WalMart go the gullable
Those too stupid to avoid
Unreal deals on discount labels Forever they shall wander
'Round the blue and yellow void
Their location for to ponder

So I'm not as talented a poet as Dante but that's a decent description. Anyway, the photo lady didn't know what she was doing. Apparently the photo hut is where people also go to get glamour shots and she attempted to set me up for a glamour shot. When I explained that I am always glamourous and do not need horrid tie-dye back-drops and fans blowing in my face to make it so, she became somewhat flustered. So again (slower and in words with not so many syllables), I explained that I needed passport photos. I successfully got through to her that time.

Though, miraculously, she managed to muck things up again. Look at my photo above. It looks a little bit better when filtered by my scanner but I assure you I am much more yellow in the actual photograph. I look like I have jaundice, and the orange hair doesn't help my facial coloring. I also look stoned, but I always seem to look like that when taking passport type photos so I don't blame WalMart for that one.

When I complained that I looked a little sickly in the photograph, the photo lady snapped on me. She said she did her best and that was that. I was tempted to throw a hissy fit but I'm above that and I was growing impatient and bored and so I paid for the photo and took off. While I am bitter about the whole ordeal, I just keep reminding myself that I'll have that card for less than a year and then I can burn it.

That's something to look forward to.