Vote Mullows @ MindSay 
election
It became obvious today that there were only handful of Dutchess followers and that I would therefore not be able to enter this race at so late in the game... Plus, I felt bad after Mullows informed me that my blog was not funny and was in fact pointless and made no sense and that he and Nasty were disappointed and did not laugh.
Therefore, I am officially dropping out of the race (although, I wasn't in it very much to begin with) and asking those of you who replied to me that you'd vote for me over the two men, to VOTE FOR MULLOWS.
Yes, that's right. I know and understand I said some horrible things about him, like he doesn't like Frodo and he collects swords and such (although I really think that's cute and endearing, which is why I've purchased about half his collection for him), but in truth he is a kind and gentle man who does nothing but shower me with attention and love. In fact, tonight he even brought me a present for no reason at all!!
He also really truly does like kittens, contrary to what Uncle Nasty claims. In fact, we saw a poor little stray kitten today roaming outside my house today and he started to cry. "Poor, poor helpless kitty. What a horrible life. We must save it and nurse it back to health with warm milk and love."
Of course I said no because I prefer dogs and the cat looked kinda like a mutant racoon to me or one of the people from the drug rehab in the woods next to my house who escape all the time and I didn't want to get rabies.
Thus, please vote Mullows. He will save all little kittens and he will make this blogging community the best it can be. Plus, he's hot and a really amazing kisser (not that any of you should ever experience that for yourselves).
VOTE HERE: VotingBooth 
And my A/C has become chronically depressed, and has decided to shut itself off to wallow in self pity.
And my clothes are sticking to my body
And I think that I'm going to go live in the pool now.
By the way.
Vote For Mullows!
A vote for Mullows can be described as this:
A vote for a change. A good change.
MindSay memberships will most likely double.
And they will most likely all be intellectual people, and not whiney preteens that hate their life.
Food will inevitably taste better. No one will know why, but it will.
All three next-gen videogame systems will most likely come out earlier than expected and will come through without a single bug. Oh, and the price will most likely drop on all 3.
My A/C will regain consciousness.
Your favorite artist/band will play at your house.+
And many more awesome things will happen to you, if you vote for Mullows.
This "ad" has not been endorsed by the Official Mullows Campaign, but has been brought to you by commntyblackman, a fellow Mullows-voter. All promises herein may or may not come true, but you never know, so vote for Mullows. Not to mention, Uncle Nasty will kick your dog in the face if he has a chance.
+This includes songs played on the computer, radio, and/or television.
I wasn't sure who's side to be on, until just a few mintues ago, after reading one of the endless comment threads between Nasty and Mullows.
unclenasty said, and I quote, "When you join the Nasty Party I will invite you to my BBQ's and possibly buy you trophies. Like cheeseburgers? Me too!"
I'm sorry, I don't like cheeseburgers.
Therefore:
A number of people have asked me who my running mate is going to be. My question to them is, "Why do I need a running mate?"
I don’t want to take over the world like Dr. Evil does, and I’m not a mindless puppet like UncleNasty is, so why would I get a running mate? I don't want power. I'm fighting for your right to govern yourself on MindSay. I'm trying to stand up for you people.
But you don't realize that. You still don't seem to realize that voting for Uncle Nasty is voting against yourself. And now that Dr. Evil is on the ticket it's just plain moronic.
Why? Why is it moronic?
After the London bombings, did you have tags that said "Fight Terrorism" and "I Love London?"
If you did, then how can you possibly vote for Uncle Nasty? His running mate is the worst terrorist of all time. He wants to take over the world, and if that doesn't work, destroy it. Do you really want our terror alert level to be raised to the dreaded red? Well it'll go beyond red if you vote Dick Cheney...uh...I mean Dr. Evil as your Vice President of MindSay. And trust me, you don't want to know what's beyond red.
You can't claim to fight terrorism and then vote for Uncle Nasty. It just doesn't make sense. It makes you a complete hypocrite. A hypocrite like Uncle Nasty.
Meanwhile, how could you vote for him anyway? Have you been following the debates? Have you been reading the replies in our blogs? His positions make no sense. His answers are those of a babbling idiot. If you really want the facts, read those responses. See how voting for Uncle Nasty would be the most foolish decision you ever make. Do you want to go down in history as being a foolish decision maker?
But all this is moot anyway, because the DutchessofWales has ruined all the fun. What was she thinking? "Hey, I have an idea. My boyfriend and his friend came up with a really funny concept, and since I'm not clever enough to come up with something funny myself, I'm going to steal their idea and run in this fake election as well."
Well, congratulations, Dutchess, because you just ended the game.
This is poppycock. She is using the wealth and clout garnered from her Shakespearean ex-husband to enter the political realm. It's a shame, really. When did politics stop being about the issues and start becoming who you know and how much money you have? What a sad world politics had become.
But I'm sorry, Dutchess. There is no jumping in. This war is between Uncle Nasty and myself. There are no extra candidates. There is nothing to actually run for.
Come up with your own idea and stop stealing ours. And, after realizing what a power hungry monster you are, I can no longer look at you the same way. I am officially filing for divorce. I'm sorry. We had some truly great years, but it's over.
And so is the entire MindSay community if you vote for Uncle Nasty. Everything you love about MindSay will become meaningless.
I would love to know what Brian and Adam think when the majority of their users vote for someone who happily admits to hating all bloggers and everything to do with blogging. I have a feeling they won't be happy with what their community has become.
Congratulations on single-handedly destroying their vision. I hope you're proud of yourself. All of you.
I don't want to leave on a depressing note, however, so I will reveal to you the startling truth my campaign manager has uncovered. Behold the true author of Uncle Nasty's blogs:
I don't think I need to tell you that my administration is livid about this:
For the past few days, the MindSay community has been riddled with miscelaneous blogs concerning the latest election between Mullows and UncleNasty . Mullows or Nasty... Which one to vote for?
I decided, as both the girlfriend of Mullows and a friend of Nasty's, I would take it upon myself to reveal to the MindSay community the truth behind each of these characters. I feel it is my job, no, my duty, to let you all know who exactly you are choosing for when you cast your fake, unreal, made-up votes.
And thus, here is the truth, the pros and cons, behind each candidate:
Pros
1. He has really nice teeth. 2. He loves and adores me, thinking about me every second of the day, writing my name over and over on pieces of scrap paper until someone at work passes his cubicle and asks him, "Umm... dude, what the hell are you doing? Why are you playing MASH and putting 'Kristina' in ALL the spaces for girls names you'd want to marry? Don't you know you're supposed to pick five different names?"
3. He's a great writer. Learn about his books right here. 4. He hates kittens (Yes, this is a pro, because I prefer dogs). 5. He is the first recipient of the Nasty Award (and I would be the beautiful girl on his arm at the awards show).
6. He has the most comfortable bed in existence (Actually, it's my bed now). | Cons
1. He has a crazy dog that is afraid of things like the floor and stairs. 2. He wears dirty socks (as seen here). 3. He collects swords and shields and almost got me arrested for terrorism when he packed a gun in my suitcase while in France. 4. He hates The Lord of the Rings. Poor Frodo. 5. He is extremely neurotic and paranoid (But I love you anyway honey). 6. He eats little rabbits... Oh wait, I do too... Ummm... Nevermind.
|
Pros
1. He's very tall and reminds you of the Jolly Green Giant, which of course, we all know, promotes eating vegetables, which is always good.
2. He throws really good Beerbeques with finger food like cheese puffs. 3. He pisses off bloggers who have sticks up their asses with his sarcastic sense of humor. 4. He makes fun of Mullows all the time and it makes me go "He he" and "Ha ha". (Shit... I mean... ummm... he isn't funny... Nosiree... Not at all. It is mean...to...make...fun... of... poor... Mullows. Yes). 5. He also looks like Mr. Clean, which we all know is very nice and always leaves your floors sparkly and shiny.
6. His girlfriend kicks ass at Asshole. | Cons
1. He's very tall and scares little children, dogs, rabbits, and midgets (including thse cute little drunken munchkins from Munchkinland). 2. He has a crazy dog that has stubs for legs. Man would I like to see that dog run and trip over it's stubs. Wait, did I say that outloud? Oops. I mean... cute puppy-wuppy... 3. He pretends to be nasty, however, this is the border in his bedroom: and this "A Happy Home Recipe" is hanging in his house. 4. He spent 9-11 lounging around in the back seat of his car (However, it was a rather "patriotic" lounging). 5. He is obsessed with Shaq and collects all sorts of Shaq paraphernalia, which I believe should be illegal. 6. He owns a pillow with his name and tattoo on it.
|
What is the biggest secret of them all? While enemies on MindSay, in real life Mullows and Nasty are actually the BESTEST of buds. Ever see that movie called The Mighty (it was also a book called Freak the Mighty)? It is a heart warming story of a unique friendship shared by two seventh grade boys, Kevin and Max. Kevin, afflicted with a rare physical disability that prevents him from living a normal childhood, is an extremely intelligent boy who lives in the world of his imagination. Max on the other hand is an overweight boy who suffers from a learning disability and has failed the seventh grade several times. The two are paired together and use each other's strenghths to succeed. Kevin uses Max's strength and size to get around, and Max uses Kevin's brains.
Well, Mullows and Nasty's relationship is a little like that. Except Mullows isn't physically disabled, and Nasty is actually really smart (and not overweight - just really, really tall). So I guess except for the part in the movie where Max carries Kevin around, everywhere they go, it's not really the same situation.
Is it me, or is it really ironic that on the movie poster, Kevin is holding a sword?
Look familiar?? I think so.
Anyway, either way, Mullows and Nasty are secretly trying to take over MindSay TOGETHER, not separately. They're both just trying to fool you all into believing that they're running against each other.
Besides, Mullows claims I am his first lady. Well who cares about being a first lady?! I want to be the president! I think we need a female in the MindSay office and I am the best female for that job! Trust me, I will fight for your female-blogging rights unlike no other blogger!!
Therefore, do not vote Mullows. Do not vote Nasty. Vote Dutchess instead!!
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