Vampires @ MindSay

How many copies of the movie Underworld do I need?

Apparently, three.

HECK YEAH BABY!

 

 

For all of you fans who LOVE the Twilight series with Edward Cullen and Bella Swann, the fourth &  sadly final book is coming out August 2nd of this year.

 

 

So now we can see how the wedding turns out and how Bella becomes a Vampire.

 

On a more serious note, there's a secret that some of you know about me.  I get premonitions.  Meaning: I can see into the future.  That's my gift as a Christian. When I'm praying, sometimes my mind will go into Latin or Hebrew or Arabic.

 

Well, anyways, I had a premonition that Shyla, this flake who was a friend of Mother's and mine until she betrayed us to Thomas, my former stepfather that I've been having issues getting over (see older entries), accepted Thomas' proposal.  This is BAD!  I've been getting gut feelings that he hurts her worse than he hurt Mother and I and she begged Mother and I to forgive her.  What the frick do I do?!

 

Last time I had a feeling like this, the New York Giants ended up winning the Super Bowl. (Again, see previous entries.)

 

~*Another Day in the Life of~*the freaked out Rebster*~*316*~

I love this:
Quartier de la Madeleine( from Paris, I Love You)

Nothing like a little vampire love to darken a bright day!
Here's a few close ups from the film:
Elijah Wood plays a backpacker touring France when he accidentally stumbles upon a beautiful female vampire taking a victim for the night...

It's love at first sight, but despite the backpacker's attempt to slit his wrists to invite the vampire to take his life, she doesn't come to him until he slips and falls to his death. The blood from his head wound spills out into a valentine she cannot resist.

In reality, the brilliant red blood was a sticky green syrup that Elijah had a hard time swallowing. In any case, the little film was loved by the actor and it seems to end too soon, making me wish I could see more of these lovely characters!

FINALLY a vampire film with a happy ending! Aren't you tired of seeing vampire movies where the freshly turned humans don't revel in their monsterhood?

On all the crap I learned in high school
It's a wonder
I can think at all
And though my lack of education
Hasn't hurt me none
I can read the writing on the wall...

Here I am in the capital of my state, not my mental state or even my physical state of being, but rather the capital of the region of my country that is known as a state. And so here I sit after eating some of the local food and my belly is full and I feel rather bloated about the entire foodfest. And still here I sit flashing back to my days amongst the vampires as I watch the vampires flashing across the big screen in front of my eyes. The vampires that are immortal, saved, archived forever in some giant database of all things from that time. Immortal, yet they were all too human as they lived out their lives in some grand play, and there I was amongst them - at times more of a vampire than the rest, and at times far too human to survive in their midst...

And there was the cult - the religious order that would sweep out amongst the vampires, sucking some in with its intensity, its excitement, its firm hold on the world of man. Much of it has come and gone, much like a rocket that burns brightly as it reaches toward the Heaven, explodes in all its glory, and the embers float gently to earth and are one by one extinguish but a few. And these few continue to smolder waiting for a gentle breeze to reignite the flames religious fervor...

As I sit here remembering the past in a land far from home knowing that I can never again go back to what once was. The past is gone forever and will never return. Nothing can go back to what it was, everything changes, nothing remains the same, and this is the only truism of this existence - life is a one-way street that leads to a dead-end...

And so I sit here in this strange town so far from home thinking about the past whilst I move further from it. I sit here ponder the fact that I have been flashing back to my days amongst the vampires whilst hold the remote for the television that has a flashback button upon it. I have never held a remote that allows one to flashback with the pressing of a single button. Interesting is this strange land with its strange devices...

And such is a single day in my life far from home...

This is the Word of the AntiCrust...

Praise be ye who Read the Word for ye are Blessed amongst humans...

There are several different categories of the undead and silly people like me and TV's Craig Ferguson often wonder whether or not they actually go to the bathroom.  It's something never depicted on stage or screen, and rarely a subject covered in literature, so being a big fan of novels and movies about Vampires, I feel obligated to dig deep into the heart of the matter and answer that question.  Feel free to agree or disagree with me.  And I apologise for bringing up such a crude subject, but, hey, look whose blog you're reading!  It's me, Valentina, and no subject is too sick or bad for me to post an opinion about.

 

Let's first cover the different types of undead and their diets:

 

Vampires -- drink blood

 

Zombies -- eat the flesh of the living

 

Mummies -- are well perserved, often still containing the food they ate before they were mummified or were given a big stockpile of food perserved in little urns in their tombs (this is so they can take some snacks with them to the Underworld)

 

Ghouls -- eats dead people (usually a living human being or, according to the ancient Arabic folklore they are demons who eat people)

 

Now let's cover their dining habits:

 

Vampires -- bites into a nice vein to extract the blood from their victims, usually on the neck or sometimes on the wrist, usually depicted with blood stains or trails of blood dripping from their mouths (do they NOT have napkins or wet naps available for Vamps?)

 

Zombies -- just rip off limbs, sink teeth into flesh usually while a victim screams from pain, tears off raw flesh, devours the goriest flesh available, makes a big mess and keeps coming back for more

 

Mummies -- don't really eat anything

 

Ghouls -- relish digging into dead flesh and sometimes even have sex with corpses while doing it (it's a ghoul thing)

 

Eventually what goes in has to go out, right?  Only unless there's some kind of supernatural explanation that defies convention.  But that just sounds like a cop-out to me.  I suspect the following:

 

From what I know about Vampire folklore is that Vampires were originally reported as bloated in appearance and ruddy, purplish or dark in colour, like big human-shaped ticks filled up with blood.  The blood they drank didn't leak out of the body, but seeped out of it, so to speak.  They were nasty creatures, not romantic at all, and didn't often kill their victims, their victims basically being relatives or lovers they had when they were alive.  At some point, the Vampire stories evolved into the Hollywood romantic types who couldn't go out in daylight, were frightened by garlic and crosses, and liked to neck hot chicks.  From what I can tell, Vampires use the blood they suck (because they don't exactly drink it, do they?) to keep their bodies from getting stiff.  Blood lubricates their muscles, but on a more spiritual level, the "life is in the blood" and therefore what Vampires really feed on is life.  Therefore Vampires don't exactly poo, they may leak from too much blood sucking, I suspect, or they may be like Vampire bats who, because they are on a strictly liquid diet, frequently urinate.

 

Zombies, before they were adapted by George A. Romero, were reanimated corpses.  According to African-Carribean Vodu folklore, zombies were raised from the dead by powerful sorcerors to be workers.  Zombies were originally controlled and didn't eat much of anything because why not have some undead workers you don't have to provide for in the first place?  That was the whole point of having them around.  At some point it was more interesting to play on human fears about death and corpses even more and create a kind of zombie that chased after the living in order to eat, hurt, and kill them.  Isn't it much more terrifying to see a zombie out of humanity's control?  So Zombies, according to the movies, are not under anyone's control, are usually brought back into animation by supernatural or scientific means, and their main goal is the hunger for living human flesh that drives them out of the grave.  In the Romero films, the culprit was radiation leaking from a satellite returned from an orbit of Venus.  This special Venus radiation affects all recently unburied dead, making these undead especially invulnerable.  In the most recent Romero zombie film, Land of the Dead, the zombies still seem to retain memories of being human and have enough intelligence to do simple tasks, but their hunger for living flesh overcomes any sympathy they might try to learn.  It is my firm belief that zombies do have to poo, and they may even have to puke, but they lack the sense to clean up after themselves.  The act of eating is too powerful.  They must smell horrible.  That's something not often depicted in the movies -- wouldn't you smell a zombie coming?  That is something to think about when you're trying to survive hordes of zombies invading your hometown!

 

With that said, Mummies who come back from the dead, I believe, are fueled by a more supernatural means to keep them going.  Do I have to go further into that?  I mean, come on, they are usually dry, brittle, slow moving, but can inflict harm on the living with spiritual power.  Usually Mummies come back because some idiot raided their tomb.  So if a living human being gets killed by a Mummy, it's usually their fault.  It's a corpse's revenege on a graverobber.  Mummies don't eat their victims so they don't have to poo.

 

Ghouls, on the other hand, most definitely have to poo.  Ghouls are usually living beings, not zombie or vampire, and most definitely demonic in the sense that they are possessed by a lust for dead things.  So I'll have to scratch that category because, technically, they aren't undead.

 

What do you think?

 

I wrote this while listening to Yngwie Malmsteen.  A guilty pleasure I developed while in high school and have never been able to shake off.  I love old school metal.  I love long haired guitarists with fast hands and big egos.  It's been a very funny experience listening Malmsteen's music while writing about the undead.  I think I need to get away from the keyboard now before I get even more silly.  Not that you were required to know that to enjoy this blog post, but it does say something for the kind of mood I'm in tonight!