Untrivia @ MindSay 
"Writing in English has it's advantage.
It creates an impression that you are
intelligent while writing the most
stupid things."
(This one was email to me by a friend)
Why the sun lightens our hair , but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
Why doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?
Why do they don"t make the whole plane out of the stuff that indestructible black box used on airplane is made off?
Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor , and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons.
Why the time of day with the slowest traffic is called "rush hour"?
Why are they called "apart-ments" when they are all stuck together?
Why sheep don't shrink?
Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injection?
Why to stop windows 98, you have to click on "start"
" A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A, M.D. or Ph.D.
Unfortunately, they don't have a J.O.B"
.- "Fats" Domino
A Secretary is a job that you must think like a man, act like a lady and worked like a horse.
A Boss is man at the office who's early when you're late and late when you're early.
A Bank Tellers are the most balance people.
A Security Guard is a man who gives us the best symbol of insecurity.
A Centerfold Models are fashionable women, who are tired of clothes.
The Bankers are the most reliable people, because they do their jobs with interest.
A Magnet is the head of a steel corporation.
Newscasters are the most tolerant people in the world. They read the news 365 days a year.
An Orthopedist is a job who gets all the breaks.
A Movie Producer and a Astronomer are the same...they both discover stars.
A Locksmith and a Musician are the same...they both know their keys.
A Jack of all trade is a man who never get bored of his job.
A Bachelor is a man comes to work each morning from a different direction
An Old bachelor is a man who always think before acting but fails to act after thinking.
A Husband is a person who is under the impression he bosses the house ,
when in reality he only houses the boss - his wife.
An Optimist is a man who marries his secretary...thinking he'll continue to dictate her.
A Diplomat is a husband who remembered his wife birthday but not his age.
A Priest is a man who marries many women but stay single all his life.
A Pope is the sole proprietor in a catholic world.
A Gay is a man who has discovered something more interesting than women.
A Genius is a person educated beyond his intelligence.A person who is below and above normal.
An Idiot is a man who loses a hand then goes to a second-hand store.
A Poet is a man who has the capacity of making everlasting monuments of moments.
A Postman is the one who received a most number of fan mail.
A Lineman is always on the top of a situation.
A Piano player is the most ticklish man.
A Photographer is the most develop man.
A Public Speaker are the most sick people...they have a diarhea of words and a constipation of ideas.
An Immitator is a man who is succeed of being an immitation.
Smile of the Day:
Politician is the most promising career.
Word of the Day:
NYMPHOMANIA - is a disease in which the patient enjoys being bedridden
iamsorrybutiloveyou..
" Life can be a big joke, not to those who joke about it, but to those who never do."
What must you keep because nobody wants it?
YOUR TEMPER
What usually get worse when bottled?
EMOTIONS
What is the only way to make your dreams come true?
WAKE UP
What has always been described as too dark a thing yet always been proven as printable?
INK
Whats is lighter than a feather but bigger than a shadow?
A GIANT SHADOW
What part of France is in London?
Letter N
What is never part of everything?
A WHOLE
What is visiblle only when it was very cold?
YOUR BREATH
What is always serve but it never eaten at all?
A TENNIS BALL
What is usually stronger than steel?
THE FLESH
What has two sides and a thousand ribs and runs several miles ?
A RAILROAD TRACK
What is you can do, but you can't see?
NOISE
What is the best life insurance?
SAFETY
The greatest it is , the less it can be seen"
DARKNESS
What can I see that you simply cannot?
The back of your head.
What is the basic effect of TV viewing and Computer?
People seldom use their windows.
How do you call the last teeth that you will get?
False Teeth
What is the main difference between land and ocean?
Land is dirty while Ocean is tidy.
What is the only thing that everyone of us doing at the same time?
Living
What animals has the highest level of intelligence?
A GIRRAFFE
What is considered the rudest bird?
The MOCKINGBIRD
What is the most careless animal in the world?
A SNAKE (he even loses his skin)
What do you call a hen who is afraid to cross the road?
CHICKEN
What part of a fish weighs the most?
I'ts SCALE
What is the real reason why dog is man's best friend?
Because it doesn'y understand the words were saying.
Smile of the Day:
There are three faithful friends; an old wife, an old dog
and a ready money.
Word of the Day:
GOSSIP is when you hear something you like to someone you don't.
" It's hard to face your problem,
when your problem is your face."
What does it say?
What did the steak say to the plate?
"Please to MEAT you"
What did the dog say to the flea?
"Don't bug me!"
What did the Chimpanzee say as he slid down the girraffe's neck?
"So long!"
What did the sock say to the foot?
" You're putting me on!"
What did the right ear say to the left ear?
"I didn't know we live on the same block?".
What does the postage stamp usually say to the envelope?
"Stick with me, Honey and you'll go places."
What did the funny guilty man request to the Judge?
"Give me a sentence with the word Freedom in it.
What did the wise student in a classroom said when he was asked by his Professor?
" I pay, I ask question, you answer!"
What did the judge say to his dentist?
" Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?"
Funny wife asked her husband? Honey what you really like from me, my natural beauty or my sexy body?
Funny Husband reply: "Honey, your sense of Humor.
Love, Sex, Marriage and other things:
What is the basic difference between love and sex?
Sex is for the organs, period!.
What is the difference between a good girl and a nice girl?
A Good girl is someone who goes home and goes to bed; A Nice girl is someone who goes to bed before she goes home.
What is the difference between girls and boys in a university?
Girls go for the facts and Boys for the figures.
What is the basic similarity between money and girls?
Both like to play hard to get.
What is the basic difference between money and girl?
Money will never betray you.
What is the easiest way to escape from the rapist?
Run, because a girl can run faster with her skirt up, than a man with his pants down.
Which is better Sex or Drug?
It depends ...on the pusher.
When is the best time to date a lady?
When her doctor attests that her resistance is low.
What will happen to a girl who decides to have a date with an expert on Pyramid?
Nine months later, she will become a Mummy.
What is the main duty of women?
To inspire love in the hearts of men.
What is the trouble with women?
Men
Why are women in the 14 to 18 age bracket like Africa?
Because they are partly virgin and partly explored.
Why are women in the 18 to 24 age bracket like Australia?
Because they are highly developed in the built-up areas.
Why are the women in the 24 to 30 age bracket like America?
Because they are highly technical and always seeking new method.
Why are women in the 30 to 40 age bracket like Asia?
Because they sultry, hot and mysterious.
Why are women in the 40 to 50 age bracket like Europe?
Because they are somewhat devastated, but still interesting in some places.
Why are women in the 50 to 60 age bracket like Antartica?
Because everybody know where it is but nobody want to go there.
What is worse being a bachelor?
Being a bachelor son.
What is the similarity of jail and marriage?
Both are institutions from which it is difficult to escape.
What's the basic contribution of marriage to human civilization?
Divorce wil never be invented without it.
What's the difference between marriage of yesteryears and marriage today?
Long ago, marriage meant companionship: Nowadays, it's more of partnership.
What is the similarity between an old maid and a jealous wife?
They always looking for a husband.
What is the best promise a man can give to the other woman?
Till wife do us part.
What must remembered before you start loving your neighbor?
Be sure her husband is away.
What is the best way to be a good wife?
Be a Lady in the living room, A Chef in the kitchen and a Whore in the bedroom.
What kind of people see flying saucers?
Husband with furious wife.
What is future tense of marry?
Divorce
What is the chief cause of divorse?
Marriage
What are the three rings that have something to do with love?
Engagement ring, Wedding ring, SuffeRING
What is not a man cannot have and yet can give into a woman?
A husband
What term defined as marriage to one woman at a time?
Monotomy
Smile of the Day:
What is the oldest joke in the world?
When Eve asked Adam, "Do you love me?" and Adam answered, "Who Else?"
Word of the Day:
BIGAMY - a man with a two sets of mother in law.
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