Friday night was a blast. The ex and I drove to San Francisco for drinks and dinner. We went to "Calzones" on Colombus, which is in the North Beach section of San Francisco......better known as "Little Italy". We ordered the Calzone of course, and the ex took a picture of the food when it arrived. She always takes the camera with her when we go to the city. The dinner was excellent. We split a bottle of Chianti wine.
After dinner we drove to Fisherman's Wharf so the ex could buy some fresh crabs that she planned to serve for her Christmas eve dinner. I bought several loaves of the sour dough french bread to take up to Lake Tahoe with me. I invited my ex to Tahoe, but she already had plans, but she agreed to fly up Christmas night and drive back with me early this morning.
We had a great time in Tahoe. There was plenty of snow, which is fine if you are looking at it from the inside of a warm cabin, but I don't want to be out in it for long. We did a little gambling last night. The ex won $1,400 on blackjack which made her as happy as can be. I won $300.00 myself. We finally headed home from the casinos around 2:00am, but not before eating a huge breakfast at one of the buffets first.
I ordered waffles, two eggs over hard, bacon, orange juice. The ex had bluebbery pancakes, bacon and OJ. We drove back to the family cabin and went to bed.
Christmas day was something else. There were about 30 relatives over for dinner. A few aunts made the traditional Italian fare, baked Lasagne, Rigatoni, Manicotti.....we also had turkey, ham, stuffing, mashed potatoes, cranberry, vegetables.......and pies coming out the ass. I counted at least eight pies. There was enough food to feed a small army. I was in heaven.
Dinner was going quite well until Uncle Frank stood up and said he wanted to make an announcement.....Uncle Frank can be a pain in the ass when he has too much to drink.....anyhow, he stood there trying to get everyone's attention, and as soon as he had our attention he lifted his leg and farted really loud......I am not kidding.....he is known for doing shit like that. Aunt Rose told him he better go wipe his ass. It sounded like shit splattered in his pants, the fart was that wet.
My Aunt Rose screamed at him to sit down and act like a human being, while some of the kids at the table laughed hysterically.
What did you all get for Christmas? I was annoyed with Uncle Frank for nearly shitting his pants at the dinner table, so I sought my revenge as soon as he did it......that night I followed my aunt's dog "Corleone" outside, and as soon as the dog took a crap, I scooped up a turd with a paper towel. I went back into the cabin and put the smelly turd in a box. I wrapped it with beautiful gold wrapping paper, and topped it off with a red bow, I then wrote, "To Frank, from Santa" on it......
The next morning aunt Rose said, Oh Frank, look, Santa left you something, well go on, open it"......Imagine the look on everyone's face when he pulled a turd out of the beautifully wrapped box. Frank looked in my direction with a look that said, "I'll get you for this you son of a bitch".........LOL
shit
