Tuesday @ MindSay

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There's one easy way to tell if a session with Dianne was meaningful: I'll end up crying.
I try so fucking hard to stop myself, this time I was bending my fingers and squeezing my wrists - but as I said to her, if I start, I don't end up stopping.
I spoke to her a little bit about "5 to 15" - I recollected a few events. Those that I didn't think were majorly important, or that I don't think would have affected me that much in the future - but Dianne seemed to think they were useful information.
 
I got my first draft of the film studies coursework back today - Sarah said it's A-grade standard, but the fact I missed out a few chunks of information in places, it's only a C/B. So I'll be adding to it shortly - she's told me I ought to get an A overall for the coursework. I hope so. I want an A for film studies, seeing as how I managed to get one in media studies last year too.
 
I sat on the 2nd floor of the LRC in my break between the session with Dianne and my English lesson. I listened to Spieluhr on repeat for a while, until it started getting on my nerves - then swapped to Silverstein and Blind Guardian. I updated the blogs I'd left blank for Tuesday and Wednesday and had a mooch about on some randomers' blogs.
 
I've always hated English since I came to college - loved it before I came here, then it suddenly just got shit. I despise it even more now that Adam has been put into D block with me. He sits with Siobhan - he was sort of adjacent to me on the tables today, I was in a shit mood and he kept saying random shite to make me smile. I did smile at some of them, but I didn't feel smiley inside. I feel uncomfortable in that room as it is with all the arseholes in there, but it's gotten worse now Adam's there too. Sigh.
 
Hannah pissed me off too. I was simply asking Angela what it was we were supposed to be making notes on, and she goes: "We did the pragmatics yesterday... YOU KNOW, THE STUDY OF SOUND?"
I just gave her my psycho glare and growled: "I KNOW WHAT FUCKING PRAGMATICS ARE."
I'm surprised she didn't retaliate, she looked more surprised than offended at my response. Oh, I fucking hate her. She's always riles me because of her fucking ridiculous nasal-voice, but as soon as someone treats me like I lack intellect, they become hatred targets. Inconsiderate shit-sniffers!
 
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On the bus home, I was listening to Blind Guardian louder than I should have done - and this random old woman kept turning around and giving me weird looks. Fucking slag. You'd think sitting behind an aged person, they'd be too deaf to hear your music. I don't have it THAT loud!
It just sounds louder in small spaces, such as lifts... :)
 
I'm a proper arsehole in the bus station though - I was bounding off to catch up with the bus that was due to leave the bay - and there was this huddle of dirty chavs standing by the railings that just didn't want to move - so I just SHOULDERED one out of the way - the look she gave me was proper funny. I didn't even look at her, I just carried on, fueled by my full-blast Rammstein. :)
 
When I got in, I made myself some of those chicken & bacon motzarella wraps and ate them while I watched Spongebob Squarepants. Nickelodeon seriously couldn't time it better - it always seems to be on whenever I get in. I like watching cartoons after college, it re-fills my happy levels. My happy levels are usually always below centre, but they drop to negative figures when I'm at college. The shithole that it is.
Well, not the building or the tutors or even the lessons - it's the arseholes that are there.
 
I went upstairs, set up my Wii and I finished off Spyro: Enter The Dragonfly.
Good fucking riddance, that's one game I'm not re-playing in a hurry. Thankfully, it was only £3.50, so I didn't waste that much on it. It's not a TERRIBLE game, but compared to the other Spyro games, it just doesn't even compete. And they're on PS1 - this is a GC/PS2 game!
It's just the overall glitchiness that ruins it. All the disappearing floors, voice lags, control reversals, camera freezing and general jumping about makes it a chore. It's also WAY too easy. Having different breath attacks instead of power-up portals is NOT Spyro! The time limits on the power-ups is what makes it fun!
 
And the lack of the locate gems feature doesn't make it harder - it just makes it goddamn tedious. And WHY do you collect DRAGONFLIES? Not eggs, not baby dragons - ach.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks it's wank though - GameFAQs reviewers all only give it 2/10 and 3/10.
I've completed all of the PS1 Spyros at least twice each, because they have excellent replay value - but as per fucking usual, as soon as a mint PS1 series gets ported to PS2, it FAILS.
It happened with Crash, it happened with Parappa The Rapper - it was obviously going to happen to Spyro. :(
 
Tee hee, bad game rant is over. :D
 
 
So, with that pile of crap removed from my to-be-completed games wallet and put back into the box at the bottom of the stack, not to be played again in a hurry - I replaced it with Resident Evil.
Now is the time for me to complete the scenario with Chris. Seeing as how Chris is supposed to be hard mode, I'm very surprised at how easy it is. I'm not sure if it's got to do with the fact I already know my way around due to completing it with Jill - but when I played her scenario, I must have died a good 10 times. I'm at the guardhouse currently and I've not died once. The snake didn't even hurt me, and Chris only gets a shitty shotgun, Forest's bazooka just doesn't seem to be present.
 
I still shit myself when Lisa Trevor came in the outside hut - even though I knew she was coming - she scares the shit out of me. She's what makes the Resi 1 re-make so much scarier. That and all the graphical touch-ups, crimson heads, insane puzzles, extra rooms and the general darker overtone and detailed environments.
 
I should stop talking about games, otherwise I'll just end up turning my blog into a games review. :)

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If I was at college this week, I'd have been seeing Dianne today.
Since I've agreed to attend another block of sessions, I really need to think about some issues I'm going to address.
As much as I'm going to despise it, I'll have to talk to her about that period of time that must not be discussed - 1996-2006. Or "5 to 15" as I call it when it's mentioned.
 
Regardless, there's a lot of things that are bothering me.
Though I'm starting to realise causes behind some of them - I'll get an idea, but then I'll doubt it - I'll ponder if it truly is the real reason behind something. Despite the fact I'm right about virtually everything, I have doubts if I'm right about this or not.
 
If only I could express my feelings through my creative assets like I used to.
I can't write, I can't draw - I haven't made any wav. mixes for ages, I'm starting to suck at Photography - the only thing I really have left are videos. Yes, I haven't lost my skill when it comes to writing scripts - but all these ideas I have, all the scripts I've written and planning sheets I've done - will they all be wasted?
 
If that's the case, I won't have anything left. Sigh.

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I made a fair bit of progress with this music video script today.
In my beasty gap between my lessons, I went to the LRC and wrote up more of my script, along with noting down all the needed props, locations, make-up and costumes.
I've asked Sarah if we could come in during the half-term break (like she'd offered) to film a bit of it - and she seems okay with it.
It is a bit weird though, I'm seriously planning ahead with it all and Ash doesn't even know about it yet. ...Mmmm, I wonder what her thoughts will be. I suppose we'll find out at the end of the week...

And I had a think about my Addictions themed project for Photography - I made this sexy brainstorm:



(Not that you can read it, it's been re-sized too much. :P)

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When I'd finished English, I went to leave via the stairs by the town entrance - but I fell down them.
I was sat there for like five minutes, I'd hurt both of my legs and I couldn't stand up - yet nobody even asked if I was alright - I literally had like 10 people walk by and just LOOK AT ME, as if to say: WHAT DID YOU FALL DOWN THE STAIRS FOR MATE?

After limping to the bus station and getting home - I looked under my jeans and found that my left ankle is seriously swollen, like 3 times its normal size, and I have a beasty 5-inch wide bruise on my right shin. There's no need like.

I tried to cheer myself up by planning out more ideas for the Spieluhr video.
I tried out my idea for The Overseer costume - after finding a pair of PERFECT sunglasses that belong to my daddy. They're exactly how I pictured them. Big, but not huge, dark, but not black. I took a photo:



I think sunglasses suit me like. :P

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College was pretty shit today. Neither Lewis, Shelly or Michaella were in, so I had a day all alone.
Both lessons were reasonable, if not just a little tedious. I spent my beasty break in the middle of the day in the LRC. I was updating old blogs and mooching around on Wikipedia to find something to amuse myself.

When I came home, I ate some cheesy hotdogs and opened the 3 packages that arrived today:
- Resident Evil: Outbreak
- Freak Out
- Galerians: Ash

Galerians was really dirty so I tried to clean it under the tap. It's got like a layer of greasy dirt on it that just doesn't seem to want to go away. I just hope it plays alright.

Saying that, today was a day I wasted away really. I didn't even turn my PS2 on.
For most of the night, I was just laid in bed talking to Shelly on the phone for several hours.
I hate days like this, I don't have bloody anything to talk about - and by the end of the week, I've forgotten anything. On top of that, I usually waste 5-8 hours doing absolute shite all. :(

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As always, Film Studies today was the same old, same old - recapping stuff I'd already learnt last year. I got there earlier today, so I got a seat closer to the front. I think my eyes are getting worse - even with my glasses, I'm finding it hard to read things that are far away. :(

English was so strange today, it was actually minorly enjoyable. Perhaps Angela is receiving my telepathic requests to liven up a bit.
We were studying the basic fundamentals about how a child learns to talk - starting with the phonemes, vowel and consonant sounds.

Thus, Angela was making all these weird noises and strange faces with her lips all puckered up and her mouth wide open. Most of us copied her when prompted, lmao.
She had YouTube up on the whiteboard, so she made us watch these hilarious random videos: