Tubing @ MindSay 
lake
Actually, the same time as a dear friend delivering her firstborn. I'm wildly excited over this one, and am bopping my way over there after church tonight! This is of course supposing that I can find her house in the dark.
I'm a landmark person. Some people find things by street names, some people find them by landmarks. I never had this so clearly indicated to me until we started hanging at J-meister's. This was the thing to do Thursday nights - we had Jazz Band rehearsal, we went to this little Italian place (every week, about twelve people descending on them. For years now), stand around outside chatting and smoking after we finish food/they kick us out, and a couple of us usually end up heading to J's.
This is much more common in the winter months. It's Minnesota. You don't just stand around in a Minnesota winter night. You want to go for a walk with your schmoopsie-poo, mad crazy death-tubing, and certain college rites of passage that involve hordes of people charging some landmark naked, sure. Because you're active for all of those. Body is generating heat and excitement.
By the way, it only occurred to me after I wrote that paragraph that it might be possible to somehow combine those three activities. Let me state firstly that I do not recommend it, and secondly that if you try it, the video should be made available for entertainment.
Er, and as a footnote to that...I've only gone mad-crazy-death-tubing with one boyfriend. I've done a number of other crazy adventures with the preferred ex, but not mad-crazy-death-tubing. My favorite place for this is actually another camp in the area - they have three different hills, but there's one of them that's a blast. I'm amazed that none of the guys in our youth group have ever gotten a concussion off it. So, yes, I do recommend this. High crazy adventure with your beloved will either make it clear that the two of you are wonderful together, or establish that one of you is a lot crazier than the other, and therefore you should date somebody who IS happy with this much adrenaline in their system. Combining the first two is fine. What I don't ever recommend is crazy-death-tubing naked. You lose enough skin as it is when you're wearing full winter gear.
And, in response to that preferred ex business - somehow, I arrived back home, started working at Camp...and forgot that K and I ever broke up. It's not a case of it seeming weird to be doing these things without him, it's that I don't realize that life is without him. The best route to Camp goes right by his house, and it crosses my mind to drop in and chat with his mom, see the cat, the two of us can do something. I'm working in the shop, sanding wood or something, and I kind of expect him to turn up sometime and finish one of his projects. Blading along the bike trail, it's like I expect to glance back and see him on his bike, or that I'm meeting him by one of the caches he has in the area.
If he knew this, I think he'd be able to use it to his advantage - the next time I'm over at J's (a regular hangout of his, as they're work-buddies) and half-asleep, it's a point of being comfortable together, and we might end up accidentally shifting back into dating without thinking about it.
At which point, I'd probably run shrieking out into the snow, because I would remember distinctly that we broke up for a reason and ambiguity in relationships drives me crazy. If you're not planning to marry me, look, just don't date me, okay? Because I'm kind of crazy.
Upon reflection, everyone who does love me deeply already knows I'm a little off the rocker, as it were.
So, way back there, I started talking about how I would always have to follow someone to J's. Every time. Because it was always after dark. I would get turned around, otherwise, and couldn't figure it out. This was about nine times in succession. And then, for some reason, there came a day when I was going over to her place for lunch on a weekend or something, and from that day on, I was fine. I have the visuals. I just couldn't get them at night.
So, I have some idea of where in Mayotown I'm headed, and I'll have to call me friend's husband for the rest. What I might be able to do is gather a few details, and come back, based on those, in the daytime. Those few might stay in memory long enough for that. Triumph!
Oh. Right. I'm at Camp these days, so, it might be case of me not showing up save for Saturdays. Or, it might be that given a few weeks, I'll work something out to get online while I'm there, but it doesn't look to be terribly likely at the moment. Workin' hard, very tired, lovin' it!
It was 105 degrees here yesterday so I was forced to spend the afternoon tubing on the river. It was wonderful to slip down into the cool water and get a break from the blistering sun.
Last night was pretty cool.. met a few people at the complex.. i haven't been there in years!! So yeah, just chilled a bit there then had a hot tub, then went out for coffee. I'm really appreciating the warm weather.. after having been in the hot tub we got dressed and all and went outside, and the weather was perfect. So refreshing :) I didn't discuss this, but it made me so happy. Anyway.......
I feel so bad, i guess it's because i got home so late and took my pills even later, but i definitely slept in until about 2:30! eek i don't blame my mom for being frustrated. I actually admire her for all she can take from me. It stresses her out so much, yet she keeps control of her temper (which i couldn't even really call a temper, because it's perfectly rational for her to be angry) but ya, i love my mommy :P
So, tomorrow i'm going to tubing with the youth group that i haven't seen in weeks. People have been asking if i'm still alive. lol yeah, i've just been out of town alot and busy on the weekends. But ya, pumped for tomorrow.
Anyway, i should be going, helping my mom out with whatever she's doing in order to say "sorry"
Ohhh yeah i totally forgot about those poems... well they're yet to come ;)
Wow, I had a blast this weekend...other than my nose, cheeks, forehead (basically whole face lol), chest, stomach, and legs being a lil sunburnt now--it was great!!
Well, Friday night when we got up to my cabin, we went to the neighbors' cabins, and I stayed at Steve and Nancy's when Lee, Troy, and Britney got there. I hung out with them for a while, and then went back to my cabin when it was like--midnight.
Saturday....oh wow, where to start....well we all went over to Steve and Nancy's cabin, and planned on what we were going to do. After lunch, we all went out on the lake. We brought tubes to go tubing, Troy and Lee's wakeboard, and waterskiis. Diane and Jim, and Steve and Nancy took their boats out, anchored them down after they tied them together, and then Randy took his pontoon out (we went out on that because our boat wasn't in the water), and tied that to the boats. We called it the "Larson Lake Redkneck Yaht Club" haha it was great fun! Everyone on the lake except for 3 houses were out there! Well, we just partied out there for a long time...and it was awesome. Then Troy and Lee went wakeboarding....I've never seen someone go wakeboarding, so it was awesome. Troy could do a backflip and tons of other tricks...wow it was impressive. We were out on the lake just partying for almost 6 hours, with strong rays of sun beating on us....so of course I got burnt a little. I don't wear sunscreen because I don't like the way it makes my skin feel...but yeah. Oh wow, we had sooo much fun!!! But then I had to go in because I had to babysit at 6...so it messed up my fun, because I missed the fish-fry and hanging out with some people I haven't seem for a while. But hey--I made $20...woo hoo--more towards my spending money for Florida. Anyways, when I got back from town at 2am...everyone was in bed. So yeah that was the end of my night. Holy shit though--it was fun. It doesn't sound like much fun---2 boats, 2 pontoons, a jet-ski, waterski's, wakeboard, tubes, and a bunch of people....haha actually that does sound fun! It was great...there was a lot of gross-talk, laughs, smiles, burning, tubing, and everything else going on....woo hoo!
Troy and Britney might come up next weekend, but they aren't sure. I'll get to see them and Lee on the last weekend in August though, because that weekend a lot of people go to a resort, and they always go--this year I'm going with them...hopefully Lee can pick me up on Friday on his way up since he passes by my house. But yeah....wow I'm busy the next month!
Alrighty guys...I know I said I was all the way over Alan. That was a lie. I am mostly over him....but I can't seem to get all the way over him...it's like a piece of me still wants to hold on, even though my heart knows it's only getting hurt by holding on. I don't know what I'm hoping for, but I can't seem to let go all the way yet. It's dumb--I know...but it's true....so very true. I went out with him for a week, and broke up with him..I regretted it...but I still held on through his relationship with another girl, and having to hear about her hurt me, but I didn't show that I was hurt or jealous of her to him...and then when she broke up with him I thought maybe I could have a second chance....uh--not. And once again, I felt hurt. I cried over another guy. I've done it a million times, and I should be immune to that type of thing by now...but I'm not!! It's retarded of me. I shouldn't have held on this long anyways. I'm stupid. There's always going to be a place in my heart for him, but I don't know if he'll ever have my whole heart....I hope I find someone else.....unless we eventually end up together forever. I know that's a stupid thought too, because I'm just dumb like that. Maybe one day when I get over him, he'll want me like I wanted him....except I won't be there to fall for him again. I'm working on getting over him all the way so I can start the school year fresh and without anything to regret. Wow, it's hard to let go of that little bit though...so very hard. I'll be done with him soon I hope. My heart still clings...but I'm going to let go. I miss last summer....I want to take it all back....
I can't wait til August 9th....I leave for Florida!!! I'm so excited....but I'm kind of scared to ride on the plane since I've never been on one. Oh well, I'll be just fine. I can't wait for the hot weather (getting a nice tan), gorgeous guys with dreamy eyes, and since it's my first time--I'll have the time of my life. I'm taking lots of pictures when we're down there...wow I can't wait!!!!!!!!!!!
Hm...I don't know what else to write...well, I'll blog later if I remember what else I was going to put in here lol.
Sweet dreams everyone~
Nicole Lyn
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