Trust Your Feelings @ MindSay 
Look closer into my envious eyes
Feelings of agony will emerge
Everyone's been telling me all these lies
And so starts my habbit of binge & purge
You can never trust them
They wouldn't understand
Claiming that you are a valuable gem
But there's just too many problems you have on hand
Let's start with the cuts
They're simply too real
They make them cringe in their guts
But to you they're not that big a deal
Where we are is a creul place
The world only wants to see you suffer
Abuse can't put a good expresson on your face
But don't worry cuz it only gets rougher
When those you love get ripped to shreds
And you're left standing there alone
The ignorant lovers will end up dead
In the night when the moonlight shone
i can never escape this hell
How long i'll be here time will tell
Until that day comes, i have to fake
And then my life someone will take
Trust. Something so simple, yet complicating if you make it that way.
Some decide to trust first until it is proven otherwise; others distrust until it is earned.
Some intentionally abuse trust as a means of gaining power, or believe that whatever they gained as a result of abusing someone's trust was oh, so very worth it. Hmmph.
Others can't help themselves. They make poor choices and are unable to justify or deal with that, even in their own minds. They may leave a part out about themselves until they are confronted and forced to face the music. Does that make one a bad person? Good question.
Me? I would like to believe that of someone who recently abused my trust (no it's not the hubby). A friend once told me that one of the biggest stings to one's ego is when you do not react at all when you are wronged. I responded that this was neither healthy or reasonable as a universal fix. If I've done something to wrong someone else, I'd like to know about it. All the "well, you should know" and other such game playing is counterproductive and time consuming. Get it out while the emotion itself is honest, that's my stance.
I realize that may not work for everyone for a variety of reasons. I know I can sometimes interrogate my accuser to the max, looking for clues as to what I may have done to allow this to happen and vice versa. That is a bad obsession I have. You know, taking the whole, "I-have-to-change-me-in-order-to-make-things-better-with-someone-else" bit out of context, thinking at first that meant I'd have to bend in tolerance for everyone's offenses. Christ-like forgivness is rare, and down right impossible at times.
Sometimes it just isn't about me. I have to remember that.
My beliefs tell me my subsequent rewards will be greater, for I will be judged by the very things I judge others by. Pardon my boldness: I believe we're allowed to hold Him to that.
I've been assulted with the constant thoughts about trust lately. To be admitted, I lost most of my trust in people two years ago. I lost all of it (including in myself) six months ago. I hated life, men, myself, everything and then life just literally plops down this perfect man. It's weird cause I do not believe anyone in life is perfect but it's all in perspective. It seems as if we were made for eachother.
Anyhow back to the point. I want to trust him though I bear no trust in myself. I lost my ability to trust people. I lost a lot...but I want nothing more than to give myself to him fully and completely. A body is just a vessle and a mind is just a machine, A heart just beats relentlessly...but you put them all together and get a soul, an entity. Meaning.
I need to find trust again.