True Friends @ MindSay 
lost friends
So the whole "do something productive" plan did not happen. I ended up watching a movie and then going out with my aformention friend. We went downtown and to the Cereal Bar for coffee which was fun and turned out to be fairly interesting. We ran into some old friends that we hadn't seen in awhile and it was good to catch up with them. It seems like when you really connect with someone then that connection is never broken and no matter how long you two go without speaking, everything seems back to normal once you see each other again. I like that alot and I hope it holds true for all of my friends from high school. Tonight got me to thinking about how much I will miss everyone that I see at school. Also, about how I take seeing my friends, and even people who I am only just aquainted with, for granted. Like this one girl who has a locker near mine. I don't know her name and after school I will probably never see her again... Maybe I should use the remainder of the semester to get to know everyone better so that I don't miss out on making friends with some potentially cool people... Hmm.
i was just talking to my friend on msn...well one of my really good friends..well he says "best mate"..lol.. i have been friends with him for like a decade and that is no exaggeration. our older sisters are/were friends, our younger sisters were friends and our parents are good friends.
i hadnt spoken to him in ages, well a couple of weeks anyway, but still that is a fair time.
i love it how you talk to someone and you havent spoken to them in ages but when you talk it is like you just saw each other yesterday, you never run out of something to say. that's how it was tonight. it was really good to catch up.
i had been meaning to ask him something since july. i have just wanted to know what he thought about the whole situation and if his opinion of me had changed. i finally asked him tonight. i didnt expect anything bad, but it could have been bad for me though if he did decide to take sides. his answer was really comforting and sure did put a smile on my face. i guess it is like what he said "true friends will always be friends"
it is nice to know where you stand in a relationship, even if it is just friends. it is so nice to hear someone say that you are best friends.
if you are feeling insecure and they say that, it is so relieving and just makes you feel better even though there was no reason to even doubt it in the first place.
anyhoo! myspace is "a place for friends". however this place for friends sucks ass. I mean do people really have 1000 friends? unless you're a celebrity I think not. the bulletins mainly consist of "comment my pix" or "leave me some love" or a forward of sorts. I guess myspace is supposed to appeal to the attention whore in all of us. It's all "look at me", "look at my friends", and the whole concept of top 8 or whatever pisses me off. In fact, an ex friend of mine stopped talking to me because I took her off my top 8.
back on topic, my true frustration lies within that I (and I'm sure others) cannot truly express themselves to their friends here. if I made a long thought out entry, probablly no one would notice it unless I made a bulletin or tried to convince all my friends to read my blog. I hardly see true thinking. its always the bubble of "love" for our "friends" (mind you I speak of all 1000 some of those "friends")
I don't know, maybe some of you dont wish to be challenged mentally or to think deeper or to gain true insight from other people. You're just content to live every day without learning anything. and thats fine, I guess. but I'm so frustrated with hmm...everything, but I guess I'm letting it on myspace since myspace seem to mirror society more and more.
and I guess I am a little sad too. With my mindsay friends, they truly listen and pay attention and genuinely care about me. but here its like...so empty. alot of that "love" that is left on my page is empty, and has no meaning.
so you might be saying "if you hate it so much, why dont you just leave?" ah see thats where part of my anger comes from. I too come here to escape reality and just wallow in the faux attention. I come to this site so I can see if anyone's even making the attempt to fake caring.
and this will probablly be deleted later again. I just thought for once I'd try to tell myspacers how I feel. but I feel in my heart that once again it will fall on deaf ears.
~Angel"
I'm pissed and so depressed... dont hand me any pointy objects right now cuz I can't handle it anymore... It seems like everyone in the whole world is mad at me, and if they are then FUCK THEM! I DON'T NEED ANYONE! the only things that I need are food and a roof over my head.... I dont really care what anyone's got to say because, frankly, hardly anyone's opinion matters to me... My true friends have shown their colors and have stuck by me through thick and thin... And they know I'd do the same for them... I guess things really do change, whether it's for better or for worse... Onto other news!
Well, I quit smoking and damn its hard not to pick up another one.... I think thats why I'm so bitchy... I got my provisional on Tuesday.. Its pretty kool, but now I take everyone everywhere... Its a little nerveracking... I went to take Eric home today after we went to the grocery store w/ my stepdad and my lil bro... Little did I know that when i took him to Brandon's he was gonna be in there for 20 fuckin minutes... DAMN THAT PISSED ME OFF!... He didn't even fuckin tell me, he just left me there looking like a fucking jackass... Then when I went up to the door, he told me, "well i'm gonna stay here and talk to Brandon"... I got in the car, threw his CD out the window, and peeled out in his face... I heard him cussing but didn't care... FUCK GUYS! I'm sure not all of you guys are this inconsiderate of the person giving you a ride and wasting their gas, but for the time being I HATE ALLL GUYS! I think I need someone new... and to think, Suge was just joking w/ Eric earlier about me wanting to leave him and here I am talking about it seriously... Oh well...
Anyways, I need to go and take a shower... And to Alli... I'm sorry for not going to weightlifting today... I'm definitely going to practice tomorrow, I square! Well, buh-bye for now!
Love To All,
-Morgan
little bit floating
somewhere in my mind
vague recollections
sweet voice sublime
a young woman's vision
drawn graphically sharp
obtuse to the bone
arfar from the norm
uniquely endearing
my friend for all time
© Paul Viel 2006
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