Tripe @ MindSay 
Dixie currently feels:
Bored 
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20 lines of pointless information relating to today.
1.
I had a three hour Textiles exam. I've nearly completed my work, and I still have about seven hours left on it.
2.
I finished colouring two more bits of #1263 artwork.
3.
The picture of the "happy hybrid" I promised to draw for Mrs Mac was photocopied and pinned on her wall in the library office.
4.
I've eaten all of nana's Oreos in the biscuit tin.
5.
Nana's bathmat feels like wet seaweed, and it's nice.
6.
I was infuriated in English by pointless threats by a pointless twat who can't insult me, because he's done no coursework, and I have, har har har. Thick cunt.
7.
I just used one of the "four most offensive swearwords" in my blog. Gaspz.
8.
I'm listening to Benzin by Rammstein. It sounds funny, because he keeps saying words that are the same in both languages; like gasoline and explosive.
9.
"dixie hates textiles" has come up as a suggested tag. ROFL.
10.
Emily should be home this week. I'm looking forward to it.
11.
Amy had me in fits during Textiles, imitating our teacher's walk.
12.
I started playing Pokémon XD again today.
13.
I got a 5 star ranking on Ruby on Expert level on Guitar Hero III earlier, for the first time.
14.
I played Heir Kommt Alex on Expert level for the first time, without playing it on Hard before, and I didn't fail.
15.
When Dixie says "she didn't fail", that really means she managed to finish the song, but she got a shitty 3-star ranking...
16.
Parry has been reading this blog, apparently. Wow, I'm going public.
17.
I don't like black pudding. Dad was frying it yesterday and it smelt horrible.
18.
I ate a packet of Original Hula Hoops earlier. The packet is on the desk beside me.
19.
The "lastest comment" window is a response in Finnish. - It looks like it, anyway.
20.
Dixie has never actually tasted TRIPE, but it doesn't look or sound nice.
...Remember children...
...Chicken legs are scary...
...CHILDREN OF THE SEA...!
sometimes i feel like i know everything... everything, that is, that doesn't require any specialization or expertise whatsoever... everything to do with people... life even... people and life are full of surprises however, as any half-apt observer will note... the future is way out of my league, obviously, though probabilities are doable... like, for example, the fact that the above statement will lead most who read this to a number of dubious assumptions... take note of the words though, people, i pick and choose them carefully (ie: "sometimes")... anyhow, moving right along... there's this thing about people that's been chafing my brain recently (and by recently, i mean for several years now)...
people-- everyone i know in one way or another-- disappoint the hell out of me. have i griped of this already? if so, it is worthy of another... there is not a single member of my family, a single friend past or present, or even a potential idol of mine (Neil, Fyodor, etc) who has not disappointed me massively and consistently (inconsistency, from a moral standpoint, disappoints me a great deal, for one...)... i couldn't find a fucking idol to save my life (not in the ranks of humans at least)... i've tried, i guess, i've felt the roots of human-invoked awe and reverence, but NOTHING is eternal... i can't even find an acceptable role model out there... not that i feel i need one, fiction serves me well enough, but the children, the little poofters, surely they need someone, something to look up to, don't they? (maybe not...) the best i can do is piece together some imaginary virtuous person out of the bits of virtue that all of us have... my buddy Dwch is wholly, innately honest... my compadre Asshat is selfless... my friend Hertzbag is earnest... blah blah blah capiche? take any group of people, put their good bits together, and you have yourself something decent... take any one person, observe and analyze that person, and you will come to observe a dwch... is the embodiment of virtue, the human of virtue, a myth? it appears to be so... fuckin douche-bags, all of us... i don't expect perfection, just consistent common courtesy and common sense... show me that in human form and i'll eat a fucking hat....
it IS easier to love those you don't really know all that well, or see with a great deal of frequency... I've never met someone who doesn't eventually make me nauseous, in one regard or another, just as i've never met someone who doesn't evoke some reverence and love in one way or another (ahhh, go the foggy minds, so he isn't just cold and bitter-- he bleeds! he loves! of course i fucking do... all anger comes from love, and nauseousness doesn't equate to hate (though it can come close))... sometimes i think love is just nature's way of keeping us interested , fueling our will to live and our drive to kill, conquer, and consume (oooh, that's like, so gloomy... suck a dick)... every crime is a love crime... love is the ultimate excuse, the ultimate justification for being stupid dwches (pronounced "douches" btw-- don't ask)... think about it.
we are tribal beasts, but ideally we live in huge fucking tribes so we don't all have to see each other every time the sun's a blazing... the spaces between us bring us closer together, i'd say... there's one for those Hallmark cocksuckers... someone asked me awhile back if i'd rather live by the ocean or in the mountains... i said the mountains cause there're fewer fucking people there... do people remind me of my own shortcomings? sure, sure... but they also feel compelled to frequently remind me of their own... i don't have time for that... doting on such things would be like soo super gloomy...
humanity needs some fucking standards... a code of conduct of sorts... all this pleading ignorance is driving me nuts... ignorance of common sense is no defense... how is virtue taught/learned? we each teach it to ourselves, with careful consideration, with knowing thyself so as to know each other... with humble, sincere, reflection, and with a little lack of regard/reverence for the self... and fuck time... if it takes you eighty years to learn one worthy thing, take eighty fucking years... our emphasis on timeliness arose out of selfishness... we each want to do it all, live it all, feel it all, breathe it all... and we want it NOW... we each want more than each other, or at least as much as we can chew... but the all is everywhere, in everything... ah fuck, i went and got hungry, and doubt and grumpiness always grip me when i'm hungry... but doubt is fucking good, people, indulge in it some more, please... i doubt whether or not anyone will read this... i doubt whether or not anyone will "get" where i'm coming from... i doubt that any of this is in any way novel to anyone... i doubt if there is any point at all in writing such things, i just know that doing it makes me less angry at the end of the day... anger is a gift? ha-ha
ps: i've recently concluded that nature as we know/knew it is a total write-off... i will write of that and other fabulous and fantastical things later, assuming i can once again bring myself to stomach my own tripe...
if there's some generalizations i can make about the people i've conversed with on here/at large (i figure it's irie to make generalizations about our species as ONE, but if you/i try to get any more particular than that, it becomes racism really fast), it's that we are all a) STUBBORN b) INSINCERE c) PARANOID d)INCONSIDERATE e) CRIMINALLY IGNORANT and f) DELUSIONAL (this list could get really long really fast)... I am a firm believer that all humans are more or less the same (at the very least we all have more things in common with each other than things which make us "different") in that we all have the ability to make the same decisions as each other one moment to the next... our freedom binds us, in a way (not to mention our fucking genes)... and surely we all have a common destiny just as we share a common past, so i don't see any harm in speaking of humanity (or the western world breed thereof (i feel too ignorant of the East to speak of it with any semblance of authority...)) as ONE. I AM a fucking human-- there's my credibility right there... so why do i think what i think about what we are/how we behave? read on...
stubborn
why are we stubborn? because we're fucking lazy (btw, if you're the type of person who gets offended by the F-bomb but can sit and read a newspaper without flinching/cringing, you can suck a dick, right now)... we prefer to learn as little as possible... so we learn someone's take on something once, etch it into our skulls, and henceforth consider it to be gospel, or at least "reality"... we seem inclined towards regurgitation rather than analyzation... we'd rather vaunt our "knowledge" like a trophy than augment it in any way... knowledge evolves like life, the universe, and everything... stubbornness is counter-evolutionary... it's a ball-and-chain, the companion of fools who live in perpetual fear of being exposed as fools...
insincere
why are we insincere? because we're taught to be... we're taught to not want to be "different" to the point that we become petrified of being construed as different by any douche-bag who happens to happen upon us... who gives a fuck what douche-bags think of you? we're all douche-bags and we're all bombarded with stupid thoughts on the regular, so why would we discard our own stupid thoughts, and yet take the stupid thoughts of others to heart? consider the source, people...
I haven't been everywhere, but i'd bet alot that north america (yes i'm a bloody canuck but i totally consider any american to be interchangeable with any canadian... same shit, partially different pile... fools abound...) is home to the most insincere society on earth... we're afraid to be ourselves, to indulge in irrational/"abnormal" whims and whatnot, because boys are taught to be clint eastwood and girls are taught to be... i dunno, fucking shirley temple... men are supposed to be bold and women are supposed to be pretty... and we're all supposed to be people of action (act first, and if there's any time left, think then, if you want)... what do you expect when you're raised primarily by a faceless, brainless, lifeless corporation? mass media/society wants your money, and is indifferent to anything of significance... i wrote about insincerity a while ago, though, so consult that if you can stomach any more of this...
paranoid
this one came as a surprise... in the safest place to live in the history of the world, one would think paranoia would be a thing of the past... but it's thriving... why? again, i think this is a learned trait... the history that you may or may not have learnt, is saturated with violent conflict to the point that the term "history" is synonymous with "the history of war"... and as every history is written by someone with a vested interest/bias in whatever conflict they're summarizing, there is always a good side and a bad side in our half-assed sources of information... so, we end up believing that some humans are inherently good, and some bad... everyone on earth wants the same short list of things, people... there are no alien monsters amongst us (and if there are, i'd suggest you leave them be)... there are just people who make bad fucking decisions for one reason or another... i've noticed that paranoia is especially popular amongst religious devotees (christains, in a western context (dammit-- i guess i'm now a racist by my own definition...))... for this, i blame the myth of the devil... christians seem to go to sleep every night thinking there's a wolf at the door... i say if you believe that evil is ubiquitous, you haven't been using your bloody better judgement... have you ever met an evil baby? that's cause none of them are! we teach them to be evil because we're so goddamned inept at teaching anyone anything... we teach them to be paranoid, we put them on the defensive from the get-go, we teach them that the worst thing to be in life is a victim (as opposed to a transgressor)... bollocks! there is nothing more humourous/pathetic/sad to me than seeing an adult scream and flee from a fucking bee or spider or something of that sort, something that obviously does not pose a serious threat to them (and even if you're allergic, there's no reason to fucking scream, though running is understandable...)... but this is what our governments do on a global scale, and we just follow our leaders like the fucking monkeys we are... still afraid of spiders, snakes, and such, even though we dissect them en-masse and could eradicate them on a lark if we chose... fucking metaphors get convoluted sometimes... bear with me folks... what i'm saying is this: what is there left on earth for us to fear beyond ourselves? nothing, so we invent imaginary enemies to fear, to fight, to give us a sense of purpose... purpose has become synonymous with deluded paranoia... if you have to fear anything, fear the fucking future... fear for your grandchildren... fear your fear... fear the muzzle of a gun in your face, but until that happens, stop wasting your fucking time (one of my buddies won't let me swear on his site so i'm kind of venting here-- deal with it)... i dunno... it seems there are many real and immediate threats to our livelihoods but they all seem to come from the same place: our outlandishly luxurious, unsustainable life-styles... i fear for the fate of mother nature, and everything that comprises it (including US), but i have to assume (yes, yes, assumption is the mother of all evil, but it's also the only way any science could ever get done) that fears based upon science are worth investigating... maybe many of us are such paranoid freaks out of sheer boredom... to spice up our otherwise mundane and bland lives... that's pretty weak, if that's the case... drama is ubiquitous already, we don't need to invent any...
inconsiderate
by inconsiderate i don't mean that we fail to follow traditional customs etc, but that we simply don't revere/respect life the way we should ( i hate it when my shit could be construed as "preachy", i am no pillar of reason, just a humble philosopher who has to take a stand somewhere in order to be able to conscionably communicate anything that could be construed as useful to anyone... (and damn it all, i hate it when i revert to extreme wordiness when i feel that i'll be widely misinterpreted)) ... common courtesy is lacking sure, but that's just because nobody has sensibly defined it... consideration is essentially the ability to put oneself in the shoes of others... why don't we do that more? you guessed it, cause we're a bunch of lazy pussies... there seems to be no shortage of self-love out there, but when it comes to loving our brothers and sisters, we just can't find the time or rally the effort required... we're so worried of being victimized somehow that we fail to relate to the droves of people who actually are the victims of circumstance and negligence... and this willful ignorance just serves to compound the problems of the real victims, and otherwise doesn't serve any useful purpose at all... if i could say one word to everyone on earth it would be: RELATE! relate to everything under the sun... i find it easier to relate to certain animals than i do to relate to certain people but i still try... i happen to like challenges though, and this one can be tough, as there is no precedence for it, like most of the tough ones... that's why we tend to leave them alone... i don't find anything as enticing as a problem that has yet to be solved... and if we are to exist unforseeably into the future, we will eventually need some general guidelines about how to treat people/life half-decently... the golden rule is a good start, but i personally haven't met many christians who abide by it, so i think we'll need a medium other than religion (say, LOGIC) in which to transmit such guidelines... maybe if people were a little more in touch with their inner selves, their TRUE self, we wouldn't have to transmit such guidelines (we shouldn't have to) at all... we are all born with such innate wisdom... where does it go? does our fear chase it away?
criminally ignorant
uh... here's a fucking newsflash: the earth, as of 2007, is our sole lifeline in the universe. here's another: the earth is finite... there are a finite number of atoms on our planet... everything you do affects a finite number of atoms on our planet... therefore, everything you do affects our planet... so watch where you step you (metaphorically) fat bastards... I don't think i can make this point any clearer... meditate upon it, young grasshoppers...
delusional
do i need to elaborate on this word/idea? what you believe does not alter what is. unless, of course, you act upon your beliefs and start dicking around with god's perfect plan (ha! i love tempering my fastballs with a sinker every now and again)... all the wishful thinking in the world doesn't amount to a hill of beans... if you can't defend/justify/rationalize your beliefs, you have no business believing them... but if you persist to believe in spite of common sense, you become delusional... if delusion is what you want from life then go to sleep... otherwise, as the mythical satan once said: "awake, arise, or be forever fallen!"
and i'm spent... if you have read this far, you will most likely have felt some provocation at some point or another... i encourage you to give into it... defending my beliefs helps me to define them... did you notice any common threads throughout the rant? are most of my grievances attributable to our ingrained and socially enhanced fear? i suppose i'd say so... do i expect too much from a pack of relatively well-groomed monkies? maybe, but none of the shit i mention seems too much to ask, does it? if there can be peace anywhere, there can be peace everywhere... if anyone is good, life is good... if anyone can be logical, we can all be logical... such are my assumptions.
ok, enough with the bloody "poetry"... i've been employing it in the vain attempt to mask my hypocritical preachiness with vestiges of eloquence... but fuck that, really, life's too short to censor one's innermost convictions... so here it is, my beef with humanity...
Q: what are we doing here?
A: it doesn't fucking matter for the moment, what matters is creating a sustainable environment in which we can grow indefinitely into the future... what matters is that we stop wasting money and resources on building and using murder weapons en masse, and with intent (nobody buys a gun without the intent to use it at some point, just as no country buys a bomber without the intent of bombing a pantload of people into the mud with it)... we should invest in fortifying friendships, not in creating enemies... when we achieve all this, we can BEGIN to figure out what the fuck we're doing here/TMOL... by then i assume the answer will be apparent enough...
Q: what is(ms are) keeping humanity from living in harmony (sustainably) with Nature?
A: 1) MILITARISM
2) PATRIOTISM
3) CAPITALISM
4) RELIGIONISM
5) MISEDUCATIONISM
if anyone feels that any of these things are not having a negative impact on Nature, of which we are a small part, please let me know why... why do i think these are all very negative things? they are all extremely divisive... i'm all for individualism, but selfishness can go to the devil... all of these things are barbaric, blindly competitive, and blindly polarizing-- they take individuals and mold them into mindless mobs... they delude us into believing that TMOL is to conquer all that we can touch, to defend whatever we can easily relate to (why not relate to everyone and everything?), to consume whatever we can stomach, to practise whatever is profitable, and to believe whatever is convenient... we are ALL, essentially, THE same. all the wishful thinking in the world will not make it otherwise, but that doesn't keep us from trying. we seem to absolutely REVERE circumstance (eg: SOME christians loathe/don't respect muslims (and vice-versa) when, if circumstances were moderately different (ie, they were born on the flip-side of some arbitrary border) they would pratise islaam with the same zeal with which they practise their xianity... one's religion and one's affinities are as circumstantial as which one of one's daddy's sperm fertilizes mommy's egg... stop worshipping chance, people, start worshipping freedom...)...
humanity seemed to stop evolving about 10000-15000 years ago... i've seen NO evidence of significant changes in human nature in recorded history. have you? we have learned nothinig if we haven't learned to stop killing each other when it can be avoided (almost always-- war is always the easiest way to "solve" a conflict, but it is NEVER the best way)... and we still haven't learned to communicate with the sincerity which we all feel in our hearts (we're all fluent actors, perhaps more now than ever)... i could ramble on and on, but i'll leave it there for now... all that i've said pretty much goes without saying in my eyes (when i speak i usually feel that i'm wasting my breath, but someone has to say this shit), and, for the record, nothing I've ever said amounts to anything more than common sense and common courtesy... morality, ethics, philosophy, theology, all can be discerned with a little common sense, and if common sense doesn't give sensical answers, then learn to ask more sensical questions... nothing should be beyond doubt, beyond questioning, so question everything and regurgitate only what you can decide "beyond a reasonable doubt"... fuck me, i sound like descartes-- zut d'alors!