Travis @ MindSay 
music
Well the response to my last cover, "Yellow" by "Coldplay" was very positive. It had over 800 viewings in the first 2 days of being uploaded.
That was the most requested song on my list. Now on to the second most requested song. A fairly new number from one of my favourite bands, Travis. This song is called Closer, and it's taken from their latest album.
I've had some good ideas for new videos, but I wanted to keeo the best ideas back for my own original songs. So I ended up making a video for this, which was humerous. My video editing software took ages to render the opening sequence. I think it was worth it though.
Check out my version of Closer by Travis. I hope you find the video amusing. I was laughing whilst making it.
I've put several videos out over the last few weeks, but it doesn't seem to be affecting the growth in my Youtube figures so far. I've got 596 Subscribers now. Only 3 to get to 600.
My channel has now been viewed 12,631 times and the total figure of all the viewings of my videos is now up to 183,585.
That's it for this post.
well in the year 2007 i started dating this guy named travis. i had terribly hurt him and i wish that there was some way that i could make that up to him... but the thing is that he will not allow me to talk to him touch him be friends with him or even hug him... thats how bad i have hurt him..... i understand what i did to him was wrong and i am not going to give out any more details about what happened then that... i just wish that i could turn back time and make sure that what i did to him didn't happen... and if i could believe you me i would... i have over and over cried myself to sleep not wanting to wake up the next day knowing that i will have to go through out my day with out him.... i have spent many sleepless nights thinking on how to make this up to him to make him see that i really am sorry and that i really care for him and want to be with him but i don't think he will understand... i have tried asking him and he says no because it hurts too much but the thing is that i have not been able to tell him how i really feel because he has chosen not to talk to me or even acknoledge that i am there... or maybe he does and i just don't see it... but all i know is that each time i see him and look into his eyes i see the hurt and pain he is going through and i am the one that caused it all and knowing that i can not fix it makes me want to kill myself... i don't think that i can live another day with out him... so please help... please send me your advise on how to talk to him and get him to listen to what i have to say and understand.
i beg of you please it is tearing me up inside knowing that i did this to him and i can't fix it.
But yeah, we've messaged back and forth a couple times now and he's told me some things that I've been wondering about for years. He said that he knew I was too small to remember all of the shit that happened surrounding our leaving Texas and I told him he was right, that I only understood what my 10 year old mind could comprehend and I still haven't gotten a clear story from my mom despite asking a few times. But he told me his side, and last night my mom finally told me her side. And he told me all the things he knows now and what he's been through with his family ... I couldn't help crying, because I still just imagined this sweet dorky little boy I grew up with going through all this. He was the most innocent of all his fucked up family. One of the things, he's not sure about, so he told me to ask my mom for him because he wants to know the truth and that if anyone in the world would know for sure, it would be my mom, but we all (my family) know for sure, so I guess I'll have to tell him once and for all... and that's going to be really hard... *sigh* I'm not sure I can do that, but I guess I have to.... Its just like... wow. I'm seeing a lot of things in my childhood from a different perspective now that he's telling me about a few things that I wasn't aware of or fully aware of or something like that. And I realise it's probably best that we did move and got away from that environment, as much as we loved it, because as he got older things just got worse, and our families really were just... connected. One big family. He's said that so many times, "ya'll are like family to me. ya'll are still my family" hahah. He gave us his phone number...
Anyway, TRAVIS LOOKS JUST LIKE STEVO! From Wild Boys and Jackass? As time went by, I forgot what Travis looked like exactly because I was so little last time I saw him, but I could recognize him in other people and knew who looked like him. And every time I saw Stevo I was just tripped out cause I was like, this dude looks just like Travis.. and now that he's older, he does look just like him! hahahah. It's insane. He has a picture on his page of he and one of his brothers, his sister and nephew, and his mom when he was younger, and looking at those faces is like... home. It's only a few years after we left and he look basically just the same, I just have to laugh when I see it and look in his eyes cause I remember how goofy he was.
What's strangest of all in all of this, is that... there's finally someone who understands. Who knows what things were like and shares this all with me, because they were going through it with me. Like he's remembering all the things that I remember, but have only remembered and have carried with me for a long long time, but it's just weird, someone else knowing them and feeling them and bringing them up and being able to talk about it with someone who understands. It's strange, but nice.
That's all I have to say... for now.
-Liv-
We'll see what comes of this...
-Liv-
I think I'm just going to leave him be. My mom keeps urging me to contact him... but maybe I should just leave it be. Now she's trying to get my other sisters to do it.
It's so crazy to see him older.. he has a wee moustache. hahah. I had only paid attention to the picture but when my mom and sister came in, we read his headline (his profile is friends only now) and laughed at how "Travis" it was. "If you ain't my friend, don't try and talk to me." We're not friends, although we once were inseparable... so that makes me all the more hesitant to contact him... My mom said she was surprised his mom doesn't smack him upside the head for talking like that, "ain't".
I looked at the picture and recalled all my memories with this guy as kids (and how painful it was when we left Texas... I cried and cried because I missed him so much, and hated California because it was everything that wasn't "home" to me at the time). Almost every childhood memory of mine involves him or took place at his house. When I think of my childhood, I think of him. That's all there is. He was like my brother. His family and my family = one big family. But our parents had their drama. We're both different people now. We were little people then. Now we're bigger people, and very, very different (I can't know about from each other, but as individuals I mean). I also thought about how much I know about this guy... all his darkness from his childhood, and there was a lot of darkness, but there was a lot of light, too, and I doubt many other people know the things that I know, besides his family. It's strange, knowing things like that about a person, but not really knowing them anymore. I'll keep them close to me all the same. And all of this is why I think it's best to just... let it be... It's too scary. Much, much too scary...
Eh.
-Liv-
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