Toronto @ MindSay

My dearest Mindsayer's

I first need to thank you all for the amazing love and comments from the last entry. You all just continue to amaze me, and I cannot begin to thank you for everything that you have done for me. I have read and re-read all of your comments and it has given me the courage that I need to go on with my life, as normal as it can be.

I  feel like I am in a place in my life, right now, right at this second that I am living in a world that is not my own. I am not in my house. I am in someone else's house. I am not in my room. I am in someone else's room. I am not typing at my own computer listening to John Mayer. I am on someone else's computer listening to John Mayer. It is this parallel that I feel like I am never going to get out of. It's hard to explain what I am exactly feeling at this moment in time, but this is the best outlet for me; talking to a world of people who care about me.

I am scared. I am scared of what is to come. I am scared of what my house will be, look like, how safe it will be. I am scared with all this shit talk about asbestos. I am scared for my parents; that this has added extra stress to their life that never really needed to be there in the first place. I feel vulnerable because I am so unsure of what the future may hold. I am feeling exposed. I am all out in the open, so much so that my door and windows had to be boarded up with plywood so that people do not go into my house and touch our things and our belongings. I have a feeling of this perpetual fear of worry that the way I feel when I walk into my house will never be there again. However, I know that these feelings should all be pressed to the sidelines because I have one thing to be thankful for and that is the fact that my family is alive. My family is alive. The very fact that we all could have died, being a survivor who was able to live through a potential ordeal that could have resulted in the death of my family... BUT DIDN'T... is what makes everything better. I don't know what I would do without my Mom, or my Dad or Krystyna... and  quite frankly, what would my family do if I was hurt, or something worse? What about what it would do to Genio? You know, I am here, typing this, and I am reminded at how Genio said to me, on numerous occasions over the span of the past week that... "Dania, I am so happy to have you never in my arms, for I do not know what I would do if you were not here". The sheer truth that that statement could have actually come true really frightens me. Like I said in the last update, that the title of the entry one the main page "Mindsay User Survives Explosion" is so very true. I did survive an explosion that had to true and real possibility that my life could have ended. I don't want my life to end. I have so much to live for. I am turning 25 next year. I have years and years of graphic design a head of me. I have tons of things to photograph. I am going to marry the love of my life next year. I am, we are truly blessed to have survived something like we did. I am a true believer that things happen for a reason. This may of happened for one reason or another, and I may never know the reason, but I believe that it will bring my family closer together. We have all been taught a lesson that life could end very suddenly, and you may never know when that could happen, but when you stare it in the face and you are able to walk away, without a scratch on your face, of cut on your feet and no broken bones, you thank God, and you thank my father who got us all out of the house within 6 minutes of the first and devastating explosion.

Before I go to sleep, every night since Sunday, I lay down and think. I do this all the time, it's nothing new. I talk to God as if the guy is my homey. We kick it, awesome style. But this time, I have questions and I do not think that they will ever get answered. This bothers me. But I have to tell myself not to. I just have to understand that there will be things that I will never be able to understand or get answers for, but I just have to believe. I have to believe in people, I have to believe in time, I have to believe in the power of prayer and I have to believe in myself. I don't think that I do that enough. I do, to a point, but I have a lot of of people believing in me, and seeing the good in myself, but I have a hard trouble seeing it. I try to be the best person to anyone in the world. But I have been reminded several times but certain individuals that I need to believe in myself. Maybe this experience will teach me how to. I have to believe in the power of my legs to run me out of my house. I have to believe in myself to get up each morning and thank God that I am still alive in it. Moreover, I believed in my Dad. He was the man that made sure that everyone got out of the house. If he was not a stern as he was to get out of the house, I don't know how things would have turned out. It was because of him that we got out as fast as we did.

Let me get to the update part ;)

WE FINALLY GOT INTO OUR HOUSE!
On Thursday, with camp [since I work as a camp leader for summer camp] we went on a trip. This trip was to the movies to see Wall-e (which I loved, by the way). On the way back to camp, after the movie was done, I called my Mom to ask her how things were there and if they had got into the house. When I called her, we were just at the bus station, and she told me on the phone that they had finally been allowed into the house. As soon as I heard this, I told my supervisor and she allowed me to leave the group, and get on the bus and go. On the bus, while pulling out of the station I was shaking, crying and had this overwhelming feeling of "oh my god.... finally". When I got of at the right bus stop, I ran to my street, and I don't think I had ever run that fast in my life. My mind was running with me. I was thinking what is my house going to look like? Is all my stuff still there? Is my engagement ring still there? Why did this happen to us? Am I ever going to get over this? Are my parents okay? And I can go on and on with what I was thinking, but you get the idea. When I got to the end of my street, I was stopped by a cop. He asked me where I was going. I told him that I was allowed to get into my house and my family are already there. He asked me if I had I.D and I told him… um no! I have it all in the house. Meanwhile, I had my Mom on the cell phone, and she was at the end of the driveway, and she waved so that the cop could see, and then I continued to run. I ran down my street so fast. When I was getting close to house, I could see debris all over my lawn, street, neighbour houses and my Mom waving me down and tearing streaming down her face. The first thing I remember was standing in front of my house in the exact same spot that I was standing in, back on early Sunday morning, with the large orange ball in the sky and I instantly was brought back to that feeling of heat and tears from running out of the house knowing that it will never be the same again. I walked up to the garage, to see that it looked like a car ran into in to it. I saw the sight of what it looks like to have your double front doors busted in to your house, and to have the overhanging feeling that things have changed forever. When I walked into the house, there was an instant change of my emotions. My house was dark, dingy and not full of life. The first things I saw was insulation everywhere, on top of everything. Dust, walls collapsed, windows smashed and things displaced everywhere. All the art that was around the house was all over the floor, the glass protecting the picture frames hanging on the wall were on the floor, smashed. The kitchen smelled of rotting food, busted-in glass sliding doors in my house, nail pops all over the house, doors off their hinges, cracks in the ceiling, cracks in glasses, and this ever creepy feeling of the fact that my house was open for that many days. There were bugs all over the house and it was sad. Sad because when I looked abound my house, it was not the same, but everything was there. Things were all over the floor, but it was not the same. It was most difficult for me to see the state of my sister, Krystyna’s room. The ceiling fell down, and if she was there, God knows what could have happened. My room, had glass, blinds and personal stuff all over the place. My engagement ring was in the same spot that it was in when I left it there the day before. But, everything that made it my room, was no longer there. It was my room, John Mayer was all there and such, but it was not my room. The window that blew, had a blinds in front of it, and that was completely off its spot attached to the wall. The saddest thing was to see picture frames that were all over my room of Genio and I on the floor. The entire site of the way things looked, but things into perspective, and it just made me realize that a home is not made of what is in it, but who are in it. If there is one thing that you should know about my house, is the fact that it is such a hub of people. Every week there was at least one visit from someone to our house. People just love being there, and not to mention that they love Mom’s cooking! Walking about the house and trying to take everything in, listening to my Mom wail behind me, made things so real.

 

I know that material things are able to be fixed/bought again, but we were able to get the precious and more important things that could never be replaced. It were these things that were first on the list to get. Over the span of yesterday and today, my parents and I were able to get everything we needed to feel better. The minute I had my stuff, the stuff that I really needed I my possession, such as my I.D., debit card, health card, birth certificate, S.I.N. card, driver’s license, money, camera and lenses, computer, extra hard drive, iPod, my Nintendo DS, my make up and iHome, I started to feel so much better. I know that my Mom and Dad felt so much better when they knew the things that they needed were safe, still in tact and really, still in the same place that they were left in. I think that, that was one of the biggest fear that my Dad had… the fact that someone (be it a cop, fire fighter, health inspector etc) was in the house and could have touched things. However, on the first walk through with looking at everything, it looked as if nothing was taken. Therefore that was a good sign.

 

Moving to today, the windows and doors were all boarded up with plywood. Meanwhile, looking at that site is something that is really disturbing. It has the look that the house is in a run down neighbourhood, where life has ended and the street was baron. It was such a hard sight to see because my street is always lively, with tons of traffic and such, but now there was the traffic of media cars, cop cars and fire trucks. It was heartbreaking to see my neighbours’ houses all broken, open and damaged just like mine. However, one of the things that this has done to my community is brought everyone together. We have all learned that in the event of tragedy, we all need to band together and fight this as one.

 

As for the house itself, there is HUGE bin on the outside of the house for the stuff that cannot be salvageable. The insurance adjuster said that the rule of thumb is that anything that is soft is to be thrown out, and anything hard surfaced can be sanded down and refinished. Hopefully the structural engineer will come by on Monday morning, and from there, the insurance company will determine what needs to happen to the house. There are two options. 1) Tear down the house completely or 2) rip out all that is bad, and replace it using the same structure and foundation of the house. When I know more, I will let you know.

 

I added some pictures to the note in facebook.

They are at the end of the entry.

For more pictures, I have this entry on Facebook, if you have it add me up—Danielle Hunter.

 

I want you all to know that you mean the world to me. To those who have already left a comment on the last two entries, know that I read them over and over again and I am so blessed to have you all as my friends. The power of prayer is one of the most powerful things, and please continues to pray for me and my family.

 

I love you all with all of my heart.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

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A scary story out of Canada, reported to us by valentinaxxx.  A propane tank exploded in North York (near Toronto), destroying the home of longtime MindSay user msdania. 

We are very saddened by the news, but very relieved to hear she's alright.  Be sure to drop by and send her your best wishes if you have a moment.  More details about the news are available here.

- Adam & Brian

Dixie currently feels:

 Flattened

 

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Dixie currently looks like this:

 

 

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Today it seems I have been in a very odd mood.

Not only have I created several wonderful pieces of creative awesomness, laid on my bed and taken random photos of objects in my room, wrote several paragraphs of gushing and emotive prose - I've also been playing on my Playstation again.

 

On the way home, I started getting an urge to play Spyro 2 and Crash 3.

 

I recently started Crash 2 again, a few weeks ago - and got stuck at 95%.

Which is typical, considering I overwrote my 100% save from when I was TWELVE.

 

 

Urgh, I just sneezed all over myself.

Tee hee, I hit the space bar.

It's all sticky.

Why does sneeze smell weird, anyway?

 

...Either way.

I came home, made myself some Turkey Jetters and sat down to play some solid Spyro 2.

Within one and half hours, I already managed to scrape together 39%.

 

I'm in the 2nd world now, Autumn Plains, with every single level in the 1st world, Summer Forest -  completed with all gems, all orbs and all talismans.

 

I laugh at their feet.

Their feet are made of one single polygon.

Ah, the days of the blocky 1999 graphics.

But I don't care about graphics, it's all about gameplay.

 

 

 

This is my Playstation.

I actually have two, one is chipped and one isn't.

On the chipped one, I only play The Misadventures Of Tron Bonne. - Which is awesome, might I add.

 

That is my non-chipped Playstation, and it's almost 12 years old.

It's been repaired once, when the centre circle that holds the discs in place cracked into little pieces.

One of the ball bearings fell down underneath the laser.

It makes it rattle when you move it.

 

To the left, you'll see the stack of games I took down from my carefully organised shelves, the games I plan to play in the next few days.

 

Crash Bandicoot 2

Crash Bandicoot 3

Spyro 2: Gateway To Glimmer

Bust-A-Move-4

Final Fantasy VII

 

Under my controller is a stack of printed guides for a lot of different games, along with the official FF7 stategy guide, and a freebie walkthrough booklet for Crash 3.

 

The wire on that controller has a cut in it.

You can see all the wires on the inside of the plastic coating.

I don't think it's safe, but it still works...

For the moment, anyway.

 

 

 

Here's a little Spyro toy that I got free in a box of Rice Krispies a while ago.

I keep him on the shelf with my Playstation games, along with a few other little figurines from video games, and my cheat booklets and demo discs.

 

It all looks very decorative and organised - just how I like it.

 

 

 

Here's Spryo, Crash and Pineapple Puppy.

They sit on top of a stack of boxes.

Board games and creative stuff - like Magnetix and Monopoly. :)

 

Spyro and Crash were won in the 20p prize grabber machines in Scarbrough.

David won 3 Spryos for me - I gave one to Ian and one to Lisa.

They're both on top of their wardrobe in their room with all of Lisa's teddies.

 

I got Pineapple Puppy last Christmas.

He's a Fur Berry - and he smells like pineapples.

(Well NOR)

 

His scent is starting to fade, but it's still nice to bury your nose in his neck and inhale the fruity goodness.

 

Pineapples taste foul, but smell good.

 

 

 

That's my pitiful collection of DVDs.

Though, I do have two volumes of The Super Mario Bros. Super Show, one volume of Sonic Underground - and the Sonic The Hedgehog movie.

 

Then, there's Barbie As The Princess & The Pauper - which I LOVE. :)

 

The Snowman and Father Christmas double set is on the end - next to all the freebie preview discs I got free with Nintendo magazines.

 

On the top are my four Slipknot DVDs.

I haven't watched Voluminal: Inside The Nine yet.

 

But then, I bought Doshin The Giant for the Gamecube about 7 weeks ago and I still haven't played it.

I haven't even took it out of the box...

 

 

Lmao, there's a little Groudon sticker on my shelf there.

 

 

 

Tee hee, look at all my Dandy and Beano annuals.

 

Some of the Dandy annuals belonged to my brother and some to my uncle.

The oldest one I have is from 1978.

 

I think the old ones are WAY better than the new ones.

 

I'm a whore for British comics. :)

I've got a drawer full of the magazines too.

 

They were so great - only 50p, and sometimes they gave away lollipops and Parma Violets as freebies.

 

They gave away one of those wall-tumblers before, the ones with the sticky balls on their hands.

That was so much fun. :)

 

 

 

I think I have too many posters on my walls.

I don't have any room for anymore - I've covered every bit of the walls.

 

I have to leave a little gap of wallpaper between them all though.

I can't stand them overlapping or being crooked.

 

The white papers stuck to the wall behind my monitor are exam timetables and checklists - so they don't count. :)

 

 

 

How awesome?

 

I got that in Rhodes.

It's a Vespa - made from PEPSI CANS.

 

They sold model cars made from cans of beer too.

The drawing above the Happy Tree Friends poster is one of my early bits of artwork.

I had it photocopied in the library - and Emily has a copy of her own on her wall too.

 

Not bad for a couple of Euros.

 

I bet the gadges who made them cut their fingers over and over again trying to make them...

Owch, I bet that would KANE!

 

 

 

This is the Baxi boiler.

 

...Recently, it's been so NOISY.

 

It makes this PROPER loud RUMBLE noise every 20 minutes.

It makes the floor shake.

It certainly doesn't sound safe.

 

I stuck Pokémon Staks and Metroid fridge magnets on it. :)

There's some Super Mario World magnets there too, that I got with a Nintendo magazine yonks ago.

 

The polar bear sat on the telly is called Boggy.

 

I named him after the polar bear from Freezeazy Peak in Banjo-Kazooie who swallows a Jiggy.

Adam got me him for Christmas a few years back.

 

His fur is very soft. :)

 

 

 

The polite way of describing this is... A MESS.

 

For Textiles, we get sheets of paper, and have to stick on drawings and fabrics - then tip paint or ink or whatever all over them.

They call it a "prep-sheet".

 

I call it "a waste of time".

 

But I liked this one, so I risked myself losing a few marks for coursework, I took it home with me and stuck it on my wall.

 

It sums me up nicely. :)

Converse - which took me ages to draw, and I think they're really good renditions - crosswords - which I really like doing - and black ink.

 

I don't like writing in blue ink at all.

I only like black biros and fountain pens. :)

 

I can't stand writing in gel pen.

Grrgh, the noise the nibs make on the paper...

 

Ergh, goes right through me, it does.

 

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Tomorrow, Adam and I are going to see Sweet Charity.

 

Not the Broadway or London production, of course.

Some people at my school are doing a rendition of it - including Claire and Sammie, who are in the dance routines.

 

Steph and Emily are main characters, they're in my tutor.

 

I dunno, I just really wanted to go. :)

 

So I got the tickets today, and we're going tomorrow night.

 

I might sneak mam's camera and take a video of the Big Spender routine. Then I can show you all. :D

 

 

Ooooh, Sweet Charity tickets. :)

 

 

£2 each - and they come with a pleading message to talk to the representatives of the shitty 6th form they're building between mine and Adam's two schools.

 

The tickets for the Tuesday show were purple.

The tickets for Thursay's show are red.

 

It's not fair - I like red.

But the Wednesday show tickets are pink.

 

How ghey.

 

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I can't get over how long this blog is - rofl.

 

Today in the library, I was ramming the whiteboard on wheels into Claire's chair whilst she was trying to do her English coursework.

 

Then I sat beside her and chewed on her arm, and I drooled all down her elbow.

It was fun. :)

 

Then I ate her tissue.

It was moist.

She's got a cold, so I'll probably get one now. :)

 

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I've done two more pieces of artwork.

 

This is the first one - a scene from chapter 89 of Fire of Glory.

 

 

 

I should have used a black pen for the trousers - but my permanent marker was running out, and I don't have any other black pens, asides from my biros; but they're for small areas.

 

Even so, I quite like that.

Our poses are a bit camp, like. :)

 

 

 

And here's the 2nd one - a scene from the end of chapter 67.

 

Though, you could view this picture in many ways....

 

 

- You could see it as Emily and Andrew fighting over Dixie, who is in the middle, and Emily is dragging Dixie away forcefully, claiming she is hers.

 

- Or, you could see it as both Emily and Andrew bullying Dixie - Emily is the leader, whilst Andrew is watching from the sidelines.

 

- Or, you could see it as Emily has just saved Dixie from being attacked by Andrew, and Emily's sinister glare is directed at the ginger one himself.

 

 

Chapter 67 - it's the middle one, but view it however you like. :)

 

Mrs Mac wants a photocopy of this one too - for the display.

Jeez, my work's gonna be rate public.

 

 

 

I think I've drawn Emily very well proportioned.

She's slim and slender - just how she actually is - and her hair's actually closer to being its true length - as I always draw it too long.

 

All three of them have very large feet, though.

I'm getting better at drawing Converse, though! :D

 

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I've been messing on with Photoshop.

 

One of the pictures I drew of #1263 that's in my black folder - I commented that it looks like she's 50 feet tall.

 

Claire then did a mock impersonation of a huge #1263 blundering around a city, accidentally stepping on things.

 

And she gave me the idea to make these:

 

Photoshopped pictures of #1263 stomping around the city of Toronto!

 

 

 

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- I've started getting back into writing TFATH.

 

New ideas for plotlines and plot twists have just came to mind of their own accord!

 

I've got ideas for new characters, new events, new settings and new relationships.

 

Last night, I did some more work on chapter 4 - and I got 2 scenes written.

So... I shall post a snippet of one of them for you to read:

 

 

“…And who are you supposed to be?” Fang sneered, rudely.

Spike growled at him, elbowing him out of the way. “…Don’t listen to him, ma’am - he’s just a common testicle-licking mutt.”

The Azumarill grimaced, averting her eyes from both Fang and Spike - turning her gaze to Dour; who had remained silent in shyness.

“I’ve not seen you around these parts before.” She said, smiling warmly. “What’s your name, sweetheart?”

“…My n-name’s… D-Dour…” Dour mumbled, stammering nervously as he responded to her question.

“W-What’s yours?”

The Azumarill beamed in pleasure, satisfied by Dour’s politeness. “My name is Azzurri.”

“Azzurri?! What sort of crack-nut name is that?!” Fang snorted, throwing back his head in laughter - before Spike socked him right in the gut as a punishment for being uncouth and tactless.

“…It’s an Italian name.” Azzurri frowned, sticking her nose in the air. “A name of high culture and social class. Of course, you wouldn’t understand that.”

Fang ground his teeth in rage, ready to retort back - but Spike cut in first.

“What does it mean?”

“It’s the Italian form of azure. The colour of my fur - it makes a lot of sense.” Azzurri smiled, seeming pleased that Spike had questioned the reasoning behind her name.

“What’s yours, Mr. Mohawk?” She grinned, staring in amazement at Spike’s rebellious, punk hairdo.

“Ern-… Spike.” Spike said quickly, correcting himself. “Spike Evoli.”

“And what about…?” Azzurri asked slowly - trying to distract herself from looking at Fang, who was attempting to slurp the grime from inside his tummy-button.

“That’s Fang.” Dour answered, also grimacing. “Don’t pay any attention to him, Ms. Azzurri.”

“Oh please Dour!” Azzurri giggled, blushing foolishly. “No snobbish titles for me - just plain Azzurri will do.”

 

 

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And to finish, I will post a poem here for my dearest friend Emily.

 

 

You were always there when I was sighing,

You were there when my tears needed drying,

You always told me to never stop trying,

 

Our secrets we kept close, we were never ones for lying,

The knot in our friendship, we kept on re-tying,

 

On each other, we were always relying,

We’re the best of friends, there’s no denying.

 

Our relationship is never dying…

Emily dearheart, please stop crying…

I know I've been MIA for ages.  Things have been good and busy and different and now I live in a different country, different hemisphere and different everything.

 

Life in Toronto is exciting and cold. I'm pushing myself to be everything I wanted to be before but was too scared to be or too stuck in a rut to do. I'm taking chances and leaping without looking. I'm swallowing my fears and just doing, trying not to think too much.

 

Doesn't that sound scary but exciting at the same time?

 

It's been 2 months since I waved my family goodbye at Melbourne airport and stepped through the gates to passport control. Seven weeks since I landed in Toronto to my new life. Six weeks since I started work and routine and life.

 

I am only seven weeks old really. A baby. Learning to take my first steps and learning that falling is not that scary. Sure, you get bruised and battered but you get up again and you learn.

 

And I'm definitely learning.

The Royals beat the Blue Jays 6-2 last night. Odalis Perez pitched 5 innings to earn the victory. He gave up 2 runs and had 3 strikeouts. Mark Teahan belted his 6th homer of the year. Billy Butler and Ross Gload drove in 2 runs each.

 

The Royals will travel to Texas for a 3 game series with the Rangers.