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Blog #260

Happy Birthday To Me...

Anyway, today is the day Dixie turned 18.

I don't feel any different. I don't want to be 18.

For one, I don't like the number 8 - and for two, I don't like this immense burden of suddenly being an adult now on my head.

The only good thing is, now I can legally buy porn and sex toys. :)

Hello Ann Summers! :P

I still had college today, regardless of the pile of presents by the fireplace.

I didn't have time to open them when I woke up, so I only opened the cards that were there and put them on the mantlepiece. Mam had gone a bit mad with the decorartions - banners, balloons and foil tinselly things all over the place.

I should have opened the presents though - because for the entire day, I was left wondering what the box on top of my PS2 was.

When I came out of the house, ready to walk for my bus - this chav was walking by, and he was proper staring at me.

I didn't actually know why - until I realised he wasn't staring at me at all, he was staring at the banners and the balloons on the window behind me.

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College was pretty meh.

English was relativley boring, but thankfully - not too tormenting.

Media Studies was reasonable - another lesson on those horror films.Watching clips and taking notes. Very easily done. I love the old horror films too. Especially Nightmare On Elm Street. :D

Freddy Krueger - definatley my costume of choice this year for Ian's halloween party.

Today I had a beasty 3 hour break - Shelly walked down to the docks with me. We both bought sausage sandwiches and I got myself a bottle of water.

We went to the paved part down by the river and sat on the benches for a few hours, cuddling and talking. Shelly gave me lots of kisses too. We were in a really secluded part, shaded by trees and bushes, so nobody was there to bother us. It was freezing though - and despite Shelly's best efforts to keep me warm by cuddling me close to her - we only retreated back to college for the remaining 45 minutes of this beasty gap purely based on the fact it was far too bloody cold.

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When I got back, mam was in - and I finally got to know what was in the box.

An odd surprise - Shelly said it would be Guitar Hero 5 - but the box was WAY too small to have a guitar in it, and too big to be just the game - so I knew she was wrong. I had a feeling it might be something silly, like one of those daft novely keys - but it was far too heavy for that.

I opened it and I found a sexy DIGITAL PHOTO FRAME.

Fucking PHWOAR mate. :D

It looks fairly complex to set up, but I have a few ideas. I'll have a fiddle around with it - get some of our epic Saturday trio photos on there and show Ash and Shelly the next time they're round. It'll be a sweet addition to my desk - turned on for guests and when I need cheering up. :)

She'd also got me a mug with a cuddly troll inside it and a silver pentagram pendant. Sexah. :)

Paul had been and dropped off a card and the two Maximo games he'd ordered for me. Maximo and Maximo VS Army Of Zin, the sequel. And apparently, there's something else coming in the post for me. Oooh, I wonder. :)

And lastly, another jiffy bag with one of the games from Shelly - Ed, Edd 'N' Eddy: The Mis-Edventures. :)

Mam scorned my immaturity. Nah, she's just boring. I know how to have fun. :P

I wanted to go and play my new games, but mam fucking swayed me with a season of Desparate Housewives. Damn her. :)

While we watched this, I ate some instant macaroni cheese that smelt like sour milk and vomit, but tasted really good. :P

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Ian and Lisa came later on the night - and they'd brought my card and their present actually did contain Guitar Hero 5 - proving Shelly's idea partially correct. :)

Mam then did let me set up my PS2 - and we played We Love Katamari - took it in turns doing some levels.

Mam thinks its a pointless game. Nah, she just doesn't recognise genius gameplay when she sees it. And she's also shit at it, so that probably contributes some too. :P

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It's been officially EIGHT WEEKS since I shared a Saturday with Ash AND Shelly.
It's been far too long. I felt so bad for those two - they'd both seen me separatley, but neither of them had actually seen each other. They gave each other lots of hugs - but I got my fair share too. :)

Shelly also seemed to be encouraging me to torment Ash - she pinned her to the bed at one point and tugged her shirt up and we double-blarted her. That's a first. :)

We couldn't actually do our 3-man band on Guitar Hero though, because dozy Ash had forgotten her Wii remote.
I left those two playing pro-face offs against each other, because Shelly is determined to beat Ash now she thinks she's improved enough.

I went across the field to Asif's shop and bought myself some Cherry Coke.
The SKANKS - it's 93p now!
I remember when it was 75p... Then it went to 85p... Now it's 93p! Seriously... Why?
I also bought a big bar of Aero for us all to share and a few gumballs from the 10p machines near the door.

When I was blundering about downstairs getting out the glasses so Ash and Shelly could have a drink - the Pyrex jug decided it would commit suicide, so it leapt out of the cupboard and smashed at my feet.
I yelled all the swear words I knew. I didn't even TOUCH it! It just FELL!

I got shards of glass stuck in my hands picking up all the broken bits, and when I went upstairs to tell Ash and Shelly, they were too absorbed in GH to notice my pain.
That was the same when I burned my wrist on the oven too - they were bloody playing GH then as well!

I hoovered up all the shitty little bits that I couldn't pick up - then went back upstairs to watch them still battling it out.
I chose the songs for them - mainly ones I liked, but they also happened to be rather hard ones.
Shelly and Ash seem evenly matched to me now. :/

Then I wanted to play against Shelly - Hard VS Expert.
Ash is so weird, no matter what you're playing - she'll watch INTENTLY.
We did TTFAF, and I was beyond hyper.
I was TAPPING. I was tapping WELL! I didn't fuck it up anywhere near as much as I thought I would.

My top score is 79% when I'm not hyper - and I managed 74% absolutley buzzing off my head on sugar. :)
Then I took to breaking off pieces of Aero and feeding them to Ash and Shelly. I gave them most of it. :)

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Ash suggested I try and get further on a game from the wallet, and for some reason, we decided on Oddworld: Abe's Oddysee.
I was proper stuck in Paramonia outskirts, but oddly enough, I got a bit more motivated when I had an audience - and they both helped me with a couple of the puzzles.
I got into the temple and lit two of the flint locks. One room was reasonably hard and the other was fairly simple. Then I got stuck in one and we went downstairs to eat.

I made us toad in the hole with chips. Ash and I had chicken gravy and Shelly had beef gravy - I don't know what she has against chicken gravy - it's the best one. :)

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Our last few hours were spent cuddling up to each other on my bed and making stuff with my modelling clay.
Ash seemed to like the red, and she made a few random things with it. I don't know what it is with her - but even with dough, everything she makes that's artistic, you can just TELL she's done it. It has the Ash touch to it. :)

Then I embarrassed her unintentionally by telling her she'd bled through her trousers and it'd gone on my duvet cover. It wasn't a lot, just a little patch where she'd been laid. She seemed sad about it - but I cuddled her and told her not to worry about it.
Naturally, Shelly and I just had to get in a few friendly digs about it though. :)
It was funny in its own way.

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Ash wearing my jacket.
It just doesn't look right on her, lmfao. I'm the one who insisted she have her hair like that while I take the photo. :)



Ash's dough cat.



And Ash's rather creepy dough head. :)

I hope we get back into our Saturday routines again soon. They're a lot of fun.
I just can't wait for the weekend after my birthday - Friday and Saturday night with Adam, Ash and Shelly - Saturday night will be without the parents, and it'll be the return of the re-vamped dare cards game! :D

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Seriously!
Shelly and I have discussed today and neither of us have any idea what the fuck happened to the nine hours we spent together.
We didn't even play Guitar Hero or anything!

We've established that we spent around an hour on Facebook and Farmville - and around an hour cooking our meal and eating it - but fuck knows what happened to the other seven hours.

Regardless - I've really enjoyed today.
I've felt so close to my special girlfriend Shelly.

I was cuddled up to her on my bed for a lot of the time - kissing her and talking.
After the argument we had yesterday, it took us around 25 minutes to talk it over and come to a conclusion - whereby we forgave each other and made up properly.
I was scared about it last night, I thought it would end up us splitting up our relationship - and I'm glad that wasn't the case. :)

Fair enough, we had quite a lot of sex today - but surely, we can't have spent SEVEN HOURS doing it?
Amongst the things we tried out today - Shelly repeated what she did to me in March, but was a lot more intimate and involved. I fucking loved it - and I repaid her the best way I know how. :D

If only my dad hadn't been in. :)
I have a problem - if I HAVE to be silent - I devote so much concentration to actually keeping myself quiet, I can't enjoy what she's doing to me as much.Sucks. :(

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Summer Accomplishments:
- Completed Resident Evil Zero (GC)

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Today's been a pretty cool Saturday I've spent with Ash.

We'd barely been in my room for about 10 minutes when I was making her go on Facebook and respond to the friend requests and messages that people had been sending her.
I even had to tell her to write a nicer response to one of them - as it was horribly blunt and practically ignored all the questions she'd been asked. Ash can be so rude sometimes.

We played Guitar Hero: Metallica today. It's been a while - as it's been overshadowed by the greatness of GH: Greatest Hits.
We started out on quickplay - I sang the three songs I actually know. For Whom The Bell Tolls, Enter Sandman and Toxicity. Metallica's setlist fails so epically.
Then we completed a full tier on the band career. Ash was on hard lead and I was on expert bass. We mainly got 4 stars, thanks to Ash being a general bodge-up - but we got a few 5 stars too.

Ash broke her sneezing record as well.
She actually sneezed SEVENTEEN TIMES IN A ROW.
I was sat there pissing myself, wondering if it was ever going to end.

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Ash was definatley in the Resident Evil mood today.
She practically begged me to play Resident Evil Zero.

I feel so bad sometimes, I start playing the games with Ash watching, and I get the urge to carry on when she's not there - and the same can be said for Adam. She was confused at where I was, she'd missed practically all of the mansion and the first Tyrant fight.

Oh, and never listen to strategy guides.
They OVER EXAGGERATE LIKE FUCK.

The guide practically made out that the final boss was impossible and you'd need like 5 sets of herbs and 4 different guns.
Mate, I killed it with a fucking SHOTGUN.
AND IT DIDN'T EVEN HURT ME ONCE.

Resident Evil is a twat with its serious anticlimax boss fights.
The only boss that's ever killed me was Tyrant on Resident Evil 1.

I laughed at the Resident Evil 2 bosses, all of them were stupidly easy.
Nemesis' final form was a disappointment - compared to what he's like when he still chases you around in his trenchcoat.
And this boss was ridiculous as well - you didn't even end up KILLING IT - you were merely DISTRACTING IT.

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After we'd eaten hotdogs - I had cheese with mine, Ash had tomato sauce - we played a few songs on GH: Greatest Hits.

Ash even commented that it felt weird us playing without any guitars.
I was on vocals, she went on drums.

It was hilarious when she was putting the Wii remote in the slot.
I had some clean shirts and jeans on my drums that I hadn't gotten around to putting away yet.

Ash goes: "Where do you want these?"
I go: "Oh, anywhere."
I go to take them from her and *DROP*.
I suppose you just had to be there - we were pissing. :D

After I'd told Ash about the forum post about TTFAF drums, she wanted to try it out.
"The vocalist falls asleep. The bassist falls asleep. The guitarist has fun. And the drummer DIES."

The drummer DID die - Ash failed during a part where there wasn't any vocals to keep the rock meter out of red. :)

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After this, Ash requested I start Resident Evil: Code Veronica X.
The only Resident Evil game I own and was yet to play.

She got it down off the shelf and I said: "DON'T EVEN BOTHER SAYING 'LOLCLAIRE'."
But then when I turned back to face her, I had a face full of cover art.
Ash didn't even NEED to say it.

We can blame Adam for that one. :D

Oh but it's horrible!
The graphics... Well, they're OKAY...
But not after you've just been playing Resident Evil Zero!

Zero has smooth Gamecube high-quality graphics.
Code Veronica looks like a slightly smoothened PS1-early PS2 graphics.

I did get used to it - the CHEESIEST VOICE ACTING EVER cheered me up.
I thought the likes of Resident Evil 1 was bad with the "You, the MASTER OF UNLOCKING." and "You were almost a JILL SANDWICH!"

No, Code Veronica beats them all.
Steve's VOICE is the most annoying thing I've ever heard.
Alfred's LAUGH is the weirdest noise I've ever heard.
Ash and I were in fits.

And there's SO MANY cutscenes too, so we got to hear a lot of this. :D

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And in Farmville news - I've got two more brown cows, and I'm now at level 18. :D
Shelly isn't pleased. She's afraid of me overtaking her.
I'm not even competing with her.

She's just being horribly childish. Even threatening to stop talking to me if I end up with more brown cows than her.
Pathetic really. :(

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Summer Accomplishments:
- Completed band career 100% - (GH: Greatest Hits)

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Today's actually been better than I expected. :)
I couldn't get to Ashleigh's because of dad's dodgy shifts, so she came here instead.

Before she came though, mam was in my room on my computer writing AN ANGRY COMPLAINT LETTER.
She bought these red towels from Next - and they're a nice colour and quite soft, they just have a tendancy to cover everywhere in a layer of red fluff. You can't even dry yourself with them without getting covered in random moutled bits.

So she went onto the Next website and started writing out this e-mail to them.
I read it over so I could correct her spelling and grammar errors.
(She just doesn't know how to get a CAPITAL I....)

It was so bloody funny though - she even slagged off Primark by saying summat along the lines of: "OH MURR, IF I'D GOT THEM FROM PRIMARK I'D EXPECT SHODDY QUALITY."

Then she twisted the truth. I AM asthmatic - but when she said: "AND MY ASTHMATIC DAUGHTER CANNOT EVEN USE THE TOWELS" - that's bending it a bit too far. :)

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Ashleigh brought her slider-panel Metallica guitar with her today.
Nice one - we were both using guitars we were comfortable with.

I didn't feel at my strongest, so I played on Hard instead of Expert.
I still did lead though - Ash went on bass.

We managed to complete the entire career - from the end of level 2 (as Shelly and I had done the first few songs on Wednesday) right up to the TTFAF finale on level 8.

And we didn't get a single three star!
It's five stars all the way with the odd four star on the dodgy songs.

Christ, Beast & The Harlot - I almost got 100% on it.
And I only didn't because of a few silly errors.
AND IT'S ON LEVEL SEVEN.

I KNOW I can FC that - I'm gonna give it a go soon. :)

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It's weird - when I'm playing GH WITH someone - I can talk to them.
When someone's watching me - I can't. It puts me off something chronic.

So as we spent these few glorious hours sitting together on my bed, drinking Pepsi, eating Pom-Bears and playing GH: Greatest Hits - we held many-a random conversation. :)

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Ash is so cute. :)

When I was downstairs, making our food - she shouts: "Dixie....!"
I go: "...What Ash?"
She goes: "...Come heeeeeeere...!"
I go up, get to the bathroom and say: "What is it, Ash?"
She mumbles: "I need one of your paaaads..."

I actually didn't laugh at her - I could see she was embarrassed - so I went and got her one. Graciously. :)

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I made us both hot-dogs for our tea.
We sat outside in the back garden on the pub bench.
It was sunny, but we get a lot of shade in our garden because of Wendy's beasty tree in the garden next door.

It was quite soothing - especially since we were sat by the lavender bushes.
Lavender makes me super-relaxed and calm. :)

I had three hot-dogs - two with cheese, one without.
Ash had three hot-dogs, one with cheese, two without, all with ketchup.

Then I offered her one of the RANDOM CHOCOLATE BALLS.

Mam came in the other day and said: "Oh, there's some chocolate cake things in the fridge."
They're like little cups of chocolate sponge cake with chocolate icing, chocolate sauce in the middle and chocolate chips on the top. They're fucking nectar - and Ash agreed. :)

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When we'd eaten, we went back to Guitar Hero.
We went on to Quickplay - as I'd got the urge to go on vocals.

I wanted to prove to Ash how hard it was for me to get 5 stars on Them Bones playing Expert vocals.
Simply because my voice is too high and there's a few lines that I can't sing.

I only went and fucking got FIVE.
Seriously, you try and prove you CAN'T do something, and you CAN...

I also sang Cult Of Personality (on request by Ash, because she likes it) and Play With Me.
Shelly told me to see if Ash could pass it on Hard lead guitar. She did - she didn't fail that epically. She got about 89%.

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The most amusing moment of today was definatley TTFAF. :)

Ash was complaing about how easy it was on bass when we played it during the career.
So I suggested she play it on guitar while I sing it.

I was singing the chorus with varying voices and octaves - I went from Princess Peach to a random cave ogre, to a bloke with a snotty nose to a lopsided dwarf - then I'd SQUEAL.
Ash was in absolute fits. :)

Not only that - but Ash seemed to be scraping her way through it - so when I had no lyrics to sing, I was making up my own to the tune of the song, regarding Ash's current performances.

And it was SO exact! It was super-spontaneous, but it fitted to the lyrics so well.
Just imagine this to the tune of TTFAF:

I fail at hammer-ons,
I fail at slider notes,
I fail at open strums,
I fail at GENERAL strums,
I fail at orange,
I fail at blu-uuu-ue!
I fail at green-red-YELLOOOOOOOOW!!!

I fail at whammy bar,
I fail at star power,
I fail all the tiiiiiiii-iiime!!

No wonder Ash was failing - she was doubled up laughing half the time. :)

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I got Ash laughing again after this - we went on YouTube and watched some videos in my favourites.

Just like Lewis did, she was pissing herself at Brookers' Harry Potter parody video.
Along with the "Hello DAVE!" video, random CassetteBoy videos and YouTube poops.

I even showed her Give Me Back My Spleen - the video that Ashley Robson and the knobhead boys made in year 11.
I have nothing against Ashley, Garrie, Lamby or Foxon - but the rest of them were absolute dickheads.

Ash was just amused at how bad it was. :)

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And before Ash left - we spent a while discussing DATWBSVOH. :)
She gave me some more ideas, and inspired me of a way to unstick myself.

I'm currently stuck at a section where the two main rivals are arguing and insulting each other - and I wasn't sure on how to end it.
I've decided that Andrew Eagle is going to twist Ashleigh Sparrow's wrist back over on itself, making her cry, almost.

I tested this move on the real Ashleigh - so I could document her reaction to it.
Her voice went proper high. :D

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I've spent a lot of time tonight on MSN, talking to Kyle and Adam.

I really need to talk to Kyle more often.
He's matured a lot - he's not once said something stupid in the past few days.
I've got him interested in the Backloggery, and he's made an account on it.

We spend a lot of time discussing games, mainly.

We were both shocked and amused when Kyle asked me who the most annoying character in video game history was.
We both typed our answer simultaneously - Ashley Graham from Resident Evil 4. :)

With Adam - he's just being Adam.
Getting drunk on Peach schnapps while we both sent each other YouTube links to Countdown bloopers. :D