Time @ MindSay 
love
Well, my time at home was much too short, the first day, we got home around 3 p.m. after unpacking, I then proceed to mow our yard which wasn't as tall as I thought it would be for 2 weeks growth. The next day had my doctor appointment in a city about 70 miles away and took most of that day , got home around 3, so most of that day 'home' was short, the next day I had to go to town and get this weeks supplies and groceries and spent about 4 hours in town,got to go to a new store in town that is up my ally, a flee market/ antique kind of store, I found me some neat treasures, an anaconda purse, for only 10 $, some real stone jewelry with very cheap prices, and so I was in 7th heaven with all my finds, did spend way to much, thank goodness I don't do this kind of shopping too often, so there went my next 'day' home, so yesterday spent my only full day at home, it rained all day got about 2 inches of rain, spent this home day piddle farting around, and doing laundry and packing to go back on the road.
We are now headed out to West Kansas to pick up a load of raw milk to take either to Winnsboro Tex. or Sulphur Springs Tex. don't know exactly the destination till this evening.
I got a call this morning from my brother who is truck driver too, and he told me of an humorous/sad situation according to how you want to view it, He was spending his sleep time at a pickle park just north of Wichita Ks. As he was trying to sleep he was wakened by a naked drugged 'lot lizard' /prostitute, she had needle marks all over her arms and legs. anyhoo, she hollers out at him asking if he wanted to have sex, He told her to leave, she then goes and knocks on other trucker doors, and then came back to his, he then calls 911 and the cops show up about 5 min. later and proceeds to try to get her, she is higher than a kite on drugs, she is screaming and kicking and hitting these 2 officers , they try to handcuff her she then kicks one of then extremely hard in his 'manhood' area, apparently so hard that it incapacitates him, he is puking and so the other officer tries to go it alone, she pees all over the guy, then hwy patrol shows up, and man and woman officers and the 3 of them wrestles her to the ground and finally get her in back seat of the patrol car, the ambulance shows up to take the injured officer to hospital. Of all places for something like this to happen , Kansas, of all places, 'they' are definitely everywhere!
Life on the road can be interesting at times, but more times than not it is same o same o just like any other job. I do hope this week is interesting in a good, way!
I hope all have a wonderful week, take care,
blessings,
Viva Oxnard. In 4 days. The quiet beach with the quiet waves and the wide open sunset-filled sky. My oldest brother, Scott, my oldest sister, Nikki, her husband F and my two famous little nephews I helped raise 4 years ago, within Mindsay. They're 8 & almost 6 now. It's remarkable.
It's indescribable, the chairs around the bonfire on the sand of California...the waves I used to dream about are as blue and as velvet under the sunlight as I imagined back on the farm at 12 years old. Extraordinarily, my Dad stays there. He's a part of the air, the movement of the ocean, he's the sparks flying up from the fire and the light in my brother's eyes. A small part of my heart naturally beams when I visit there. I like to push my feet in the sand, there; lean back and breath in the beach like a flawless indulgence, a sparkling presence. There is no question, I belong by the water. I come so alive there.
I came back East for love, after living in San Diego in 2004. I mistook a lover for what should have been a best friend and I let myself return to Virginia where I thought love was waiting for us there. I lost that friend but, nonetheless, Virginia is home, more than California will ever be, I have realized. I live in Maryland now, with Nathan, life's best gift so far :) --I love it, but Virginia has the history that molded me into who I am so I couldn't possibly not call it home. I know its roads and its trails on my grandfather's farm in Hartwood, I know it better than I ever wanted to, truthfully.
Silly me. Plotting and plotting at 21 years old. I didn't know shit. Life just happened. All of a sudden I am the happiest I have ever, ever been in my life. I made so many plans, I made so many changes, but life has a stronger engine than me, it has its own direction. It's marvelous. I wouldn't dare hit the brakes. I just cruise. :)
I can't wait to see everyone when I land at LAX!!! 
I love Nikki's smile. I can't wait to kiss my nephews :)
Coffee shop kids and the reality of space and time
In the decadent decors illuminating a fantastic illustration of aesthetic and hidden curriculum of pretentious names and capitalist symbolism, there are those who enter into a space of being different than when than enter and taking on a form of identify seeped within a distinct, yet different composition and conception of time. These I have come to regard as the coffee shop kids. The use of “kids” is somewhat misleading, but it is a playful usage of language that I will explain later.
My first thoughts came to me as I sat in the corner of a starbucks and felt a shift and uneasiness of the time and space in which I was situated. Inside there was an attitude and an allure of the other world. The other world in this case is one of intellectualism and proposed elitism. The names are foreign to the traditional convention of small medium, and large and in place we find tall grande and venti. The complication of ordering is only a brief complication of nervousness like the first intravenous experience of heroine, a trickling burn of cocaine in the nasal cavity, or the sting of a sucker punch. Those that have become addicts, narrators, and navigators of this space and time know its intoxicating aroma and effectual bliss of hypersensitivity and loss of the world which they left to enter such a space.
The experience of the coffee shop kids is one that cannot be proposed or summarized in some tyope of universalism or generalization. I feel that everyone experience a temporal loss of the self and floats in uncertainty to find one’s self that is a compatible self to such a space. There can be such rejections and utter forced excretion of the incompatible beings that try to retain a sense of self that has not been organically stimulated in this space. The resistance to flowing into a space and allowing a sense of being and self, and such a possible identity, is thus the result of temporal disengagement and organic stimulus of the core desire. Perhaps the desire is one of chameleon adaptation, but this would be a bad example. The chameleon changes to not be seen. The coffee shop kids partake in a voluntary involuntary paradigm of self negotiation negation and transformation. Their consciousness turns from that of external concern to one of internal concern that stimulates and informs the outward. As such, the transformation and space is one that can be describe as the of the old tv show “The twilight zone.”
Is it required that something strange should happen to analogously refer to the twilight zone, if so why? Here it is assumed that the space and time must be different to a degree of horror and psychological asphyxiation, but this is not necessary. Such vile interpretation of space and time different form that that we believe exist as normal is falsely assuming the deviance of another space. Such is the fetish of many to assume the there can be a “normal” space and time. Moreover, the ability for us to truly become of aware of such transformation of our self and the space in which we occupy is questionable. How do we know it exist or occurs if we cannot place any type of absolute framing into its descriptions? The answer is not one that can be simply provided in any degree of objectivity in observation. Observation itself is subjective and thus we arrive at understanding of a personal experience. The observation and mere pondering of transformation from one space to another could be considered experience, but is it really experiential? If one does not cognitively recognize and gain the ability to articulate, or at least attempt to articulate, such experience can it be called experience? How can we make distinction between experiences as something of an occurrence situated in the objective in contrast with transformation which is situated with in the subjective. It is a matter of theoretical view and philosophical inquiry.
By observing and proposing a theory of transformation I am proposing that the transformation is somehow standard or at least measurable. This, however, is not what I mean to discuss here. Rather, what becomes more consuming and contemplative is the subjective referential of self reflection upon the self in the self and of the self while consciously assuming no cognizance, perhaps acknowledgement, of such transformation. In this sense the transformation can never be described nor attributed to anyone except the self and conscious undertaking of that self to attempt to understanding the transformation and subjugation of a new space and temporal allowance. We can simply posit that people enter the coffee shop unaware and incredulous to any such change in their being, identity, or self. But this matter does not concern nor does it matter if its generalizable to others. The only one who can provide a settling understanding of what is is the one who is being at the time of such transformation.
We could call upon the pop culture reference to the movie The Matrix in which people participated in a world they believed to be true but in fact existed as a sub-world to the “real world.” The issue of real and reality are also complicated and can only be explained as much as they are contemplatively experienced. Dreams provide an example of such space in which we believe things to be real for an amount of time and only when we gain consciousness in our unconscious state(i.e. lucid dreaming) do we come to understand that real and reality are not objective claims but very subjective to the understanding and transformation, conceptually of the self in such a space and time.
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