Thought @ MindSay 
love
On the other hand, these people need challenging to change, maybe, but maybe at a later point where they'll consider it
I cannot bring myself to genuinely admire that nature though, nor can I afford to, but I can still act a little + with the good people around me, I don't have to direct a happy approach towards the bad person, they just have to see it, and see the power of friendship.
Thing is, when my dad picks a (worded) fight with me, I have to defend myself, I suppose he is one who I couldn't lead by example - and he sees himself as the leader I think anyway, and he just wouldn't be challenged if I pretended to be what he wanted me to be
When I decided to take a gander down memory's path.
I opened past convos, things we both said.
Thinking about them and seeing made my heart glad.
I'd forgotten that feeling that came when you said,
"I love you and want you". The text sticks in my head.
But the feeling of wonder, of love being released.
Of love now knowing and seeking true peace.
I'd forgotten some things that I ought not forget,
So I wanted you to know that I do not regret.
Not a sigh nor a sorrow nor waiting for you,
There's no part of our love that doesn't ring true.
We've seen the worst of each other
The past that haunts our souls.
We've waited and we've hoped
And we've come together whole.
Words begin to fail me but my heart is ringing thru.
I love you now and always,
With a love that's deep and true.
"the following EM (enlisted men) will be volunteers at the Pine Hill (NJ) Independence Day festivities. Report promptly at 0800 hrs to Mrs. Lindstrom (i think that was her name) at the parade marshaling area in Pine Hill. Uniform required is dress khakis..."
that memo waas signed by the battery commander and posted on the company bull. board. There were 6 names. mine was the first.
This meant that I, who was serving my country as a reluctant missleman for 3 years, was going to mark my country's Independence Day by donating my holiday off to marching in a parade to honor... you know where that's going. Keywords in that memo are, "will be volunteers."
For the record, the ladies of the Pine Hill, New Jersey patriotic committee were so nice and gracious and kind to us that the day was more fun than our captain ever intended for us to have. I visited there often after that until the Army decided I should learn to speak German. That was 1967, btw.
So Happy 4th, 2008 to anyone so bored that they are on their computers instead of out on the deck burning burgers. And as I did at that Pine Hill parade long ago, I'll muse a bit on our Independence.
We rebelled against a government of "taxation without representation." (That line is from my 4th grade history book.)
Now we have taxation with representation... There's a little food for thought while those burgers fry. Oh, and hold the tomatoes, please. At a safe (long) distance.
This Whole Damn City
This whole damn city wants me out of it.
The weather wants me out, anxious drivers on St. George want me out,
Long lines at the TTC stations want me out,
Man on the corner on his cell phone wants me out, and all the other pedestrians, too.
My textbooks and homework forgotten at home, want me out.
The other students in my 9:00 class want me out (I talk in my sleep.)
All the goddamn paperwork the bureaucrats can muster wants me out.
My train, late again, wants me out.
My ticket, which I neglected to punch twice, wants me out.
Businessmen and women want me out, more room for them.
Pretty girls who don't talk to me want me out.
Ones that do make it dangerous to stay.
Their boyfriends want my eyeballs gone, want to pull my tongue out.
The skyscrapers want me out.
Rogers Center wants me out, but also wants to be SkyDome again, and to feel the Jays
win one more series.
Michael Lee-Chin's Crystal, hanging precariously over Bloor, wants me out
(of its proud dangerous shadow.)
This city will not stand for my indecision, and will share nobody.
If I cannot live and love here, I must not stay.
If it wanted me forever, I would not return.
KOR-SAW
Ay coño! No me toques pero un poco. Venga mas cerca mija pero alli estas. Man rest in the meadows of meditation and thought only to feel the wind pass his face, the air streaming through his nostrils, and release of contentment in his breath. We face the world in front of us while confronting a world behind us. It is at times impossible for us to look down at our feet and see the ground on which we stand. At times, it is as solid as concrete, other times soft like sand, and more often a mix like mud that allows a little room to move, but still maintains immobilization. Our contemplation, at least mine, rest in understanding what has placed me on such questionable ground. I try to move about, but my feet are planted. Sometimes I have more movement and at times one foot is set free. There is solid ground ahead of me and quick sand behind and all the while the world is spinning back and forth switching from the past to the future. How am I to negotiate such rapid change and uncertainty in grounding? I look to myself and my heart as a guiding emotional logic for understanding what must be done in myself and with others. This perplexes and simultaneously frees me in knowing that I may be alone in companionship, but surrounded by evidence of meaning and purpose. Which do I choose and should I have to? Is it not possible to have both? I look to the historical biographies of great men involved in deep thought, contemplation, and resolution and they are for the most part married to their thought more than a person. If they had partners they were not remembered, yet their minds and meaningful quests have outweighed themselves and the significant interests. Some may call them mad and obsessed while others call them committed. Perhaps they are mad and should be committed. I, as well as man I believe, dabble on the boundaries of insanity and in sundry limbo, all while pursuing what we hope to be our cause. We really lead life undirected and without any real knowing of what is or should be. Perhaps this is the greatest and most exciting burst of ecstasy we can experience. The thrill ride of not knowing but hoping that we will not be disappointed. Between here and there, yet never any where is where I think I’ll always be. I have come to the idea that there is something more important than me in this world. I am not a servant nor a savior, but a humble man in search of what I believe to be a balance and harmony among man and nature.
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