Therapy @ MindSay

Mark had his first chemo today.  It went over pretty well actually...  We went in, and they got the IV set up in his Port-A-Cath.  We watched a 10 minute video about chemo with him, and they took him into the room.  They told us that he would be about 2-3 hours depending on how he reacted to the allergy test before they administered the actual medication, and that in the middle, if we wanted to visit him we could.  So Mark's mom and I went to the bank, to AT&T (to exchange my phone because it died last night), to JoAnn's Etc. to get yarn for making hats. :)  I want to help her make hats and things for the chemo patients at the center.  She is already doing it, but I told her that I was interested so she said she was going to teach me how to knit and crochet.  We went to Target to pick up Dragon Age: Origins for Mark and I... because Mark has been DYING to play it.  It looks like a really amazing game...  And we went to Quiznos and got sodas for us. :D

When we got back to the center, Mark's mom and I talked about knitting for awhile and techniques and terms and such.  They let us go visit Mark and he had a big smile on his face.  It was great to see him smiling...  They had two GIANT syringes which were two of his four part medicine... and they injected them in front of us.  He was alright though. :)  And they put a steroid in his meds so he's really loopy... but he seems normal other than that.  I'm really happy that he's so strong and amazing... I couldn't ask for anyone else in my life.  I hope he doesn't get too many side effects from it... We're home now and we're all getting subs later.  :)

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Ok, so now that you've had a taste of me.  Oh, I'm not sure I meant it like that...  Please send in any advice requests you may have or ideas for subsequent blogs. 

 

I am an ordinary, tell it like it is, mother of 3.  I promise to deliver honest, insightful (hopefully), real ideas that will empower you to make healthy and responsible decisions that will make you the person of integrity, honesty, and compassion that we all need more of in this world. 

 

If I don't hear from you soon, I'll be forced to blog on fashion.  BORING!

 

Regards,

Jen

Ok, so we've talked about having friends for all seasons.  Which is great.  But what happens when a friendship goes down the tubes?  Have you ever had a friend that you had to "break up" with? 

 

So I have this friend, let's call her Sara.  Sara was my go to friend.  We did everything together.  She wasn't a friend for all seasons.  She was the all seasons friend.  Very rare, and hard to find.  Well, we were pretty tight for a couple years.  Obviously we knew each other very well.  We had kids of the same age.  We were both married.  We were the same age.  We both had a similar sense of humor and saw life relatively the same.  Hard to believe, I know.  Everything was great.  It was so nice to have such a close girlfriend again.  It seems like once we get married and have kids, we women lose our friendships.  Why is that?  I can't think of a time in life when a woman needs a good woman friend more.  Do we just lose ourselves in our marriages and our mommy roles?  We lose our individual selves?  We no longer "have time" for such trivial things as support systems???  But I digress.  Back to the point- so we were tight.  Well, for some reason, unknown to me, she's ditched me. 

 

I do have to throw in a red flag.  Have you ever had a friend that you knew was "not right" in some way but you couldn't quite put your finger on it?  They are generally narcissistic types who are so much fun., the life of the party.  But unfortunately they are so self centered that these friendships typically burn out.  Lights out, party's over.  If you are healthy anyway.  You tend to get tired of the friend having to be in the spotlight 24/7.  It gets tiring.  But these people are so entertaining.  So funny.  And they tend to make you the center of their world.  Which lets face it, feels good.  Who doesn't like to feel needed?  Well, Sara was this girl.  I knew it.  I knew it going in.  I've had a longggggg history with these types.  I fall for them every time.  I must have been needy my own self.  I must have been lonely.  Who knows but I fell for her.  I knew it at the time this wasn't going to be good, and it wasn't.

 

So, I can't say that unknown to me Sara ditched me.  She's ditched me because I don't offer her anything anymore.  She got what she wanted and she's moved on.  Have you ever had this experience that I'm talking about?  I'm so mad.  And mad at myself because I knew better.  But like every good woman I know I think I can change a person.  Man, woman, or child.  It doesn't matter.  I can fix them and make them better.  Yuck. 

 

I don't want to be that person any longer.  It all goes back to self esteem.  Why do we women have such a hard time with self esteem?  It doesn't seem to matter what kind of family you come from, your socioeconomic status, your educational level.  Too many of us suffer with not expecting enough.  From male relationships, to female relationships, to employment relationships, to our parenting.  We really need to work on this as a collective group and figure it out.  It's wreaking havoc in all social arenas.  We allow men to continually objectify us.  We allow our kids to walk all over us.  We allow our employers to pay us less and overwork us.  Willingly! 

 

So, I've been ditched but I swear this time I've learned my lesson.  I'm steering clear of red flags.  You know what I'm talking about too!  I want you to steer clear too.  Teach your daughter to expect more from people and they will expect more from themselves.

Ok, this really needs to be said.  What's with women these days? 

 

I read post after post, reality tv after reality tv, advice columnist after advice columnist, Oprah after Oprah and the topic NEVER changes.  Women wanting to know why a man/men aren't into them.  Well, who finds desperation, degradation, dependency and depression attractive?  Other than the obvious, psychos.  I don't get it. 

 

I don't understand how the womens movement that was to bring equality got interpreted as women can act just as piggish as men.  (Some men, not all men, I am a man lover).  And the really sad part of it is men don't apologize for their piggish ways.  We've decided that piggishness for men is a species trait and can't be helped.  Which is another great blog topic.  However, back to the point, women act like pigs but we still internalize piggishness and wonder why they aren't into us.  We're not acting piggish for the sake of piggishness like a man.  We're acting piggish, key word "acting", to ATTRACT a man.  Doesn't that seem kind of strange?  These same women who are sexting strangers, sending nude pics to strangers, wearing clothes with their breasts falling out, and making out with women in bars are the same women who are asking "why isn't he into me?"  Where is a sense of pride?  Where is a sense of entitlement to be honored as a human being, not a sex toy? How does a reasonably intelligent woman reconcile in her mind her behavior with the kind of man she'll attract? 

 

I argue that women are as dependent on men as ever before.  Even more so.  We as women have lost our value as women.  We have succumbed to an adolescent boys wildest wet dream.  Voluntarily!  That's the most disturbing part!  How unbelievably sad.  How did this happen?  How did we lose our identity as anything other than our genitalia? 

 

We like to think that WE'RE empowered.  We can do whatever we want to do.  We are sexually liberated.  Whoo hoo!  Well, again I argue that isn't working for us.  Case in point, if it were, why would we women be flooding any available medium with the eternal question of why isn't he into me?  Instead what we are saying is I've done every possible act to degrade myself for his benefit and he still isn't into me.  What else can I do?  I've already done all his friends, I've produced a porno, I've made out with my friends at his party, I'm pole dancing to his music calling women ho's, bitches, and gold diggers.  And he's still not into me.  I would feel gloomy as well.  What else is left? 

 

Don't get me wrong.  This issue has NOTHING to do with men.  This issue has EVERYTHING to do with women.  Think about this.  Why are women willingly living a male fantasy?  Why don't we require men to fulfill OUR fantasy?  Why aren't men taking the kids to the park, cleaning the house, making dinner, doing laundry, going shopping, all while rubbing our feet, feeding us chocolate covered strawberries while drawing us a bubble bath?  Why isn't that happening?  Why?  Because we don't require it!  We don't even ask for it. 

 

Please, I have a son.  I want him to find a healthy, secure, intelligent, thoughtful woman who doesn't sell herself so short.  Come on.  Make him work for it at least a little. 

 

Have a great weekend!