Therapy @ MindSay 
This morning, my cousin Sherry called. That's the bipolar one whose life is... well... a mess. Her latest drama is that she took a spill and broke her collarbone quite badly. Her husband died unexpectedly a few years ago, and she's still traumatized by this. It put her into quite a tailspin, and though she's made considerable progress, I can count on at least one phone call from her every month. Today was the day.
Then this afternoon I got a call from my "niece," Kelli. (I put that in quotes because she's really Lorelei's niece, but we still refer to each other as that.) After half an hour of general b.s., the topic turned to depression. She's going through a bad bout of it, right now. As it happened, I couldn't talk long, because I was meeting my friend Cybergal for coffee at Weatherstone. So we continued our talk later this evening.
Coffee with Cybergal was unexpected, and I rather suspected that when she suggested it, that she needed to talk. And she did. Her current relationship isn't living up to what it should be, and she's beginning to feel as though her guy is taking advantage of her. I think he is, too. This was a long conversation. Hours later, she called me, following up on part of our talk. She was pretty anxious. She doesn't deal well with confrontations and she knew she was going to have one with him. It was a short call, as he returned home while we were talking. Not sure what happened after that.
In addition, I learned today that former co-worker Q's mom has cancer. No further details on that.
And also that a friend's store, instead of moving to a new location next month, may be closing, instead. No details on why, either.
Yeah. Interesting day.
So… I’m seeing a therapist, which is only kind of interesting if you know much about me or the past two years of my life. It’s been, to say the least, interesting. At any rate, Monday was my first day. After waking up feeling ridiculously shitty, I made an appointment. Right away I didn’t want to go, but by the afternoon I convinced myself I didn’t need to go. I was feeling better by the time my appointment was up. I told myself that I should go because it would be awkward to call and cancel and if I didn’t call they would call to check on me, but really I just knew I needed to go.
An hour of crying and talking later, all I wanted to do was sleep. It was a release and a confusion at the same time. I’ve never gone to therapy before. Thinking about it tonight, I feel kind of foolish and simple that I had to go to therapy and talking about such unimportant things (in hind sight). At the same time it was a relief to get some of the big stuff out of my head and into someone else’s mind.
But I keep thinking about next Monday’s appointment, and I feel uncertain.
I have my massage /fitness room...'finished'? LOL.. I have moved everything around in there 9 ways to Sunday and it still doesnt have the flow I want, and I know its cause of the treadmill and the gazelle in there. I have been fighting taking it out of there and shoving it in my tiny office room for just one day a week for my clients as a second location. I can't put them behind the screen, cause the room is too small. I took the tv out, cause that was too big.. I will buy a tuner for my laptop probably down the line and then I can watch tv while I 'tread'...
But I have a feeling , I am just going to have to take those two items out if it still bothers me. My husband says.. it doesnt bother him, and that it wouldnt while he was getting a massage. But he might have said that cause he was tired and didnt want to help me move my desk and rearrange my office area to accomadate the machines... lol!
What do you think? Could you come and get a massage and be ok w/ the fitness stuff in the corner? Especially since I am offering a 15.00 off gas saver discount for those who come here on Tuesdays? ( I have 2 clients for tomorrow and I havent even sent out the email to my clients yet about it..lol!) Or would it be so intolerable to have it there that it would ruin the relaxation aspect of the massage?
It's bigger than the room I have at the office I pay rent for... I would NEVER be able to use my fitness ball to work off of... I can't even get a small chair to roll around the entire table in that room :( Anyways.. feedback please :) First client here is at 1:30 tomorrow. If I get enough clients out here, I will look for another location probably cause I don't want to get into trouble or anything by doing massage out of my home. But for now, it's just for those clients that happen to be out in my area now...no new clients unless personal referrals.
well folks, today is a day of jubilation.
i have my first appointment with my therapist! this means that i am just one small step closer to achieving my ultimate goals and dreams!
shawna looked it up for me and found a number for a clinic in akron...and she called and set up and appointment (why she didn't let me just do it myself, i will never know, but oh well).
i'm excited, scared and nervous...just wait until next wednesday (appointment day)...i'm sure to be a wreck.
it's just the prelims...meaning i have to take i.d., a paystub and fill out some paperwork...do some preliminary assessments, yada yada. basically, it's getting to know me stuff...but still a lot fo be nervous about.
it's $90 per half-hour session and i'm pretty sure that i need to go atleast twice a month...hopefully not every week...that's $360 i don't have that often. *sigh*
let's look on the bright side...it's only $90 every time i go. and that's hella cheap for a head-shrinker (my dad calls them that, lol).
so there's nowhere to go but forward and i can finally start living life the way i'm supposed to...as me.
but still...it's crushing me with the anticipation.
i hope jamie calls me back, i need to see her today.
for those of you who tuned in late; jamie is my ex-girlfriend (we didn't last long) and my absolute bestest friend (with the exception of shawna, of course). she's been rooting for me since day one.
kage jonas
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