The Jam @ MindSay

Echoes down my track
It's at the moment bound for nowhere -
Just going round and round...

And so here it is another day in this long list of days that I have experienced in this long existence most of which just seem to blend into the next and become one hazy half-remember memory...

And I suppose that this is the way that the brain operates as the past in pushed further and further to the rear so that the present has its moment of glory at the front of the line even though the present cannot be measured by any equipment created by man as it is plowed under by each passing present. And such is time as I experience it and so has it been and so shall it be for all eternity - each instance moves further and further away, pushed from view by the newbies that demand one's attention and then they vanish from reality...

And thus are my thoughts as I sit here at this moment and enjoy all that the world will present to me in the coming moments though these thoughts will be plowed under by thoughts to come for this is the natural progression of things just as one generation is plowed under by the next until nothing remains above ground to mark their paths...

Lately I have been trying to remember the past and all that I was back in the day so very far away. Most of which is due to the fact that spent some time working on my MySpace though some has to do with the fact that I have another birthday fast approaching. MySpace has turned out to be an interesting experience on a number of levels. I have rediscovered some of my high school friends, some friends from my Usenet days, bands that I listened to back in college, many things from the past that had long since been plowed under by all that I perceive in the present...

Strange are the thoughts that fill my head as I try to remember the past, and strange they shall remain until something new steps to the front of the line and demands that I give it some attention...

This is the Word of the AntiCrust...

Praise be ye who Read the Word for ye are Blessed amongst humans...

But I want nothing this society's got -
I'm going underground (going underground)...

'Tis a glorious day to enjoy the wilds of the world around me for it is not too hot nor is it too cold and there is only a slim chance for rains to force me and my laptop indoors. I wish as I usually do that I had something of importance to fill this blank canvas, but at the moment my mind has wondered off somewhere far away as I watch a wee little ant explore the wonders of my keyboard...

It has been a strange few days - the past - so strange on so many levels. I feel as if my live is coming back to the beginning again and on its way to complete another lap. Go back to the beginning is what has been circling about in my thoughts, go back. And I have to some degree. I recently submitted a resume to a company that I left 14 years ago and spent some time chatting with my old boss whose job I eventually took as he moved into another function within the company. I found a number of old friends on MySpace from roughly the same period that I had thought that I had lost forever...

This week has been almost like I have gone back in time so that I can get a chance to correct the mistakes of the past and so that I can carry on with my life. From the earth and so to the earth I shall return...

'Tis just an odd feeling that has overtaken my soul at the moment as the ant has found his way from the laptop and is now searching the table on which it sits and my stare turns towards a small fuzzy black and white spider as it searches for its daily bread - it stops and looks me in the eye, decides that I am not a threat or that I'm far too big to eat, and turns and wonders off around the junk that is piled upon this table...

Strange it is and strange it shall be as I begin another cycle in this great circle...

This is the Word of the AntiCrust...

Praise be ye who Read the Word for ye are Blessed amongst humans...

But its nice to be your own boss really
Walks off home does the last customer
He is jealous of the man in the corner shop
He is sick of working at the factory
Says it must be nice to be your own boss (really)...

Strange it is this thing called life. I am in one of those moods where I don't know how I should feel at the moment. I am torn between feeling as if I should be at an emotional high or an emotional low...

So here I am stuck in the middle not knowing how I should be reacting to the world as it is racing passed me. Odd it is that I should be feeling thusly...

According to my co-workers on this most horrible of shifts - the graveyard shift, the shift of the living dead where coffee flows through the veins of the undead - I should be rather upset at the way in which the powers that be treat a poor plebe such as myself for I have been subjected yet again to my annual review...

I have great technical skills, I am extremely helpful to my fellow plebes, I this and that and so on and so forth, but. And then is the but, a rather big but I may add. Does this PDA make it fat? The but is there and it shall forever be written in stone and placed within my personnel file forever and always...

Yes, it happened to be the best review that I have received in at least two years with heaping helpings of praise for what I do, and yet there is the but...

"You will make your way to the Promised Land, but..."

And if I continue to work the way I have been, maybe, just maybe, we will take care of you at the next review...

Maybe...

Anyhoo, being that I am such a useful employee of the number Seven hundred and eleventh ranked global company according to the 2006 Forbes Global 2000 rankings and being this company is fiscally responsible and the fact that the average pay raise for this year is 2.2%, you shall therefore receive a big fat zero for a raise to accompany your big fat but...

Though personally I am not sure whether all this makes me angry, makes me depressed or has me jumping for joy...

But and this is a big but, I am not alone in my bewilderment for all peons who did not follow the party line to a tee were treated equally...

All hail the corporate world!!!

Of course in a strange way, we peons have been instructed to think outside the box though we were never told that there is a specific distance from the box that we must not go beyond for we shall be punished for all eternity if sin against the all mighty corporate headquarters - damned to a hell of our own creation just outside the box in the imaginary box that we must speak of...

So I find myself stuck in the middle of an emotional funk and this is where I shall remain until I feel like doing otherwise...

This is the Word of the AntiCrust...

Praise be ye who Read the Word for ye are Blessed amongst humans...

But I’m so happy I can’t see the point...

I guess that my greatest fear of this Blogging world was short lived and overly hyped....

Alas, I still possess the ability to write about absolutely nothing and be totally happy with the fact that I'm saying absolutely nothing while using a lot of words to do so...

I am proud of the fact that I can write a great many words to express the fact that I have absolutely nothing to say on any topic that has not crossed my mind though out the day or week for that matter...

I am much like a blank slate awaiting for the first marks to be made upon my soul. And I await this marking with the eager anticipation of a child awaiting Christmas...

And I await this marking upon my soul patiently for this is what I do - I wait and I ponder what changes these markings will have upon my soul much like a spiritual tattoo that one never knows for sure if the decision to have a permanent marking is the correct choice to make at this point in one's life and one never truly knows if choice will remain a good one in the future...

Alas, but such is life...

Just as I may one day have something meaningful to say in this Blog...

One day I may just you wait and see...

This is the Word of the AntiCrust...

Praise be the Word...

I hope rain stops play - with the eton rifles...

My greatest fear in creating a Blog has happened and I'm not sure where I should go from here...

I feel as if I'm on the road to nowhere and my GPS system has failed me. It a shame that the batteries have gone dead and there isn't a store in sight...

The greatest fear I have in the creation of a Blog and joining the Blogging community is that I will reach a point where I find that I have nothing to say, no topic that reaches out the darkness and pulls me in, no new and exciting experiences that I feel I have to share with the world...

I have reached this point where I have fallen off the edge of the world into the nothingness of the void that has grown to epic proportions between my ears...

Alas, I long for a lightening bolt of creativity to strike me and to jolt me back into a mode where the ideas flow freely like the rains of spring. Striking me with such force that every single atom of nothingness is blown from my soul and shattered about the landscape like the gentle falling snows of February...

Alas, I have become nothing in a world of something...

The Earth does not shed a single tear for my loss. It continues to do what it has always done for millions of years - it just carries on. And I will do likewise even though I feel a loss from which I may not recovery...

And that's about all I have to say about that...

This is the Word of the AntiCrust...

Praise be the Word...