Thanks @ MindSay

I started this blog on the wrong foot. I first need to introduce myslef. Hello my name is Lovedeadend. I am a male who is old enough to know but still to young to drink. I live in Montana. I love the outdoors, hiking,biking,walking,and pretty much everything outdoors. I am a horrible speller and I make lots of mistakes of the English language. So if you want to praticing editing blogs I offer mine up to any one who wants it. But anyway people come up to me and ask lovedeadend if you hate to type and hate the english language why do you have a blog ?  to which I respond that I am in need of talking to people about my problems rather than bottling them up and exploding on myslef or others who don't deserve it. Also if you can't trust stangers on the internet than who can you trust? So yeah I don't write this to share my awesome skill with word rather vent so that I may not kill someone. a fair trade if I do say so myself. I guess I will get back to the subject at hand and that would be....me. I am studying to be a Paramedic. right now I am just getting past the EMT basic thing. I also hate caplitizing letters at the beggining of sentances. oh well.. I decided to name this blog and write about all of my girl problems. Becuase they are really funny and some you will enjoy and some you will think wow I really have better luck with women this guy. I also I hope you learn that even a girl will look great on the outside and seem perfect in everyway only to leave after 6 days of being with you for someone who she can have more sex with because your too busy. who also is her ex boyfriend who was a totall ass to her.

Woot.

so I will post some great stories. I also might tell sad stoires about my job and people that effect me the most. I might also tell of my really sad horror stoires with the Paramedic part of my life but I won't voliate HIPPApainInMyBottomus. But I also wanted to say Thank you to the people who talked to me about my last blog. Thanks Firefly. and Thanks Mr. Sheilds your commment really helped me thanks. Oh follow up with that last one nothing has really changed my family still doesn't believe me. And Eva and I talked about it and it was just a misunderstand and that is what she told me verbally but her body language said a different story. So I am still working on it. Also recently she asked how I deal with her after she told me about her bad day almost in tears. I then told her that I don't know how she puts up with me. (Trying to show her that I don't have it bad at all and trying to make some humor out of the situation) I tell her that she does well putting up with the fact that I am a slow texter, something that I forgot, and that I don't know how she puts up with the fact that somenights I would rather spend my time with a text book rather than her. She didn't find this funny but insted she found truth in it. Now I ment this only as a joke but she texted back thanks I am glad I know where I stand I guesss.... I am now thinking to myself "Good Job Lovedeadend you really just know how to keep them laughing" so then I start explaining to her I ment it as a joke and that I am sorry but I need to study and pass my classes and she said that she understands and doesn't hold it against me. But she doesn't like it that I would rather spend time with a book than with her. I explain myself some more and then she sends me the text that oh ok its fine. I call her and she tells me that she understands that every thing is ok. I ask her if she is lying and she says no even though I can read people well enough to know. then later she tells me that their is a problem. And I get very upset because I hate when people lie to me and I know about it and they still tell me they are not. well then we talk it out and I just forget the thing even happened for the sake of the realtionship. But wow I didn't want this post to be more girl drama but I guess that is the way life goes for me. I say welcome to my life I hope I can entertain you. And show you bits and pieces of my life. Anyways Thanks again Firefly and Mr.Shields. Welcome to my dead end journey of love, lies, and fate.

At about 4:45 this evening, right as I got un-locked out of the main part of the building, I was in the office to let my co-worked Donna back in.  I left the door open, and one of my students' foster mom's, "T" came wandering in with a, "Hi, Emily".  I know, this is a dreaded thing for some teachers, but I really like interacting with my students and their families, and T is really nice and helpful and understanding. 

We talked for a long time about her daughter's imaginary friend, and how neither of us can find a pattern to when 'Logan' makes an appearance.  We talked about how happy we are that she's responding to our behavior plan, and things we will try when other things aren't going well.  This conversation easily went on 25 minutes.

As she was heading to go, she zips her coat and says, "Thanks for all the hard work you do with her.  It shows".  Now, I suck at accepting praise, and I am very hard on myself/my performance as a teacher especially, but that... I needed that.  I needed the recognition that she knows I'm busting my ass for her 6-year-old.  And all the other kids.  It was really nice to hear that I'm not doing it in vain; that someone else sees progress and believes in what I'm trying to do.  It left me feeling invigorated for tomorrow and planning for all of next week.

*Did I not mention that next week is hyper special?!?  I am actually going on a 4-day overnight trip with my 5th grader.  He needed support, and none of my staff could go with him, so I am.  I am a little nervous, just because if he blows NEITHER of us will be in a known place where we know we're safe/can get help, but we'll take it as it comes.  He's been good so far, and I believe he can make it this trip...and be so nicely bonded to his peers.   He really needs that.  More than anything, he really needs friends his own age.

Just wanted to say thank you to everyone who responded to my post. I wasn't sure that day if letting it out would help at all. Guess what! It did. I am not saying I am all better now or am not having those thoughts anymore but I am still here and still trying to deal.

I want you all to know that your words of encouragement did mean a lot to me and you all are appreciated and I think it is great that you can take the time out of your lives to try to encourage others and make them feel better about their situations.

THANKS! THANKS! THANKS! THANKS!

I just want to take the time to thank each of my friends who came to my defense when saikotikgunman
thought it was his civic duty to tell everyone that I have two blogs.
I opened the second one to meet new friends, as well as to blog things that were on my mind, that didn't especially deal with Christian topics. If you think that is wrong, well, so be it. But I have had people ridicule when I have written about things they didn't agree with, and thought that it would be good just to do it elsewhere.

I am not trying to justify myself and I am not going to close that blog at present. If you want to go and read what I have written there, you are most welcome. If you don't like what you see, then you don't have to add irishlassie to your friends' list.

I love and appreciate all of my friends, and appreciate your support, prayers and friendship more than you will ever know.

wolfman you have been there for me all the way, along with everyone else and I appreciate you ...geekity14 especially grateful to you as well.

bonnie