Test Results @ MindSay 
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I've started trying to get some exercise each day - walking around the block for 30 minutes. It's difficult because of all the hills and intense heat, but I think it'll do me some good to get out even if it's just for 30 minutes. I also thought the exercise might tire me out so I could get some sleep, but unfortunately, I'm still having trouble falling to sleep.
This guy I met, keeps hounding me to hang out with him and get drunk and it seems he's even more persistent than ever now. My friend said he'd tell him off for me, but I don't think that'd be right. He's definitely getting irritating though. It's so apparent that we don't have any sort of chemistry, but I guess he doesn't see that.
Also, I've noticed that a fuckload of my posts are about anime. I feel a bit embarrassed about this, because I don't want to be labeled a fucking weeaboo, japanophile, wapanese, etc. Although, I guess I'll continue to talk about it, I'm not going to add anything anime-related as a tag. Jeez... how embarrassing.
I took my first home pregnancy test this week, after a very stressful period of wondering. The test came back negative, but I'm going to take a second one this weekend to double-check. I have somewhat erratic periods, so it isn't that unusual that I haven't had one in a while, but there were somewhat unusual circumstances that made me paranoid. I've had some early symptoms of pregnancy (high levels of breast sensitivity (at one point I barely pressed on my breast while lying on my back and immediately pulled my knees toward my chest in a fetal position from pain), slight cramping (which can indicate implantation), etc.) and about 3.5 weeks ago I was in close enough proximity to ejaculatory fluids that I could technically have gotten pregnant. I'm not going to go into the details so as to be polite, but I will explain that I have never actually had intercourse.
I love children and I do want children one day, but that day happens to not be anytime within the next year. I am mature enough that I would take good care of a child if I had one, but also mature enough to know it is not in a child's best interest to be born to me quite yet. As I said, my circumstances are somewhat unique, but it was pretty scary. I'm really hoping that the second test comes back negative, although I'm not so nervous as I was before. After I read the results I called my mum and boyfriend and let them know, and I feel like I sort of moved forward then and stopped worrying about the accuracy of the test (if it was too early to tell, etc.) I do still feel some concern, but I am trying to reduce my stress levels so that they don't screw with my body chemistry further. I tend to not worry much because I figure I can either change things or I can't, and I try to do the best with what I have, but this had been gnawing at me.
It is somewhat ironic considering that one of the reasons that my boyfriend and I do not have sex is because we don't want to risk having a baby outside of marriage (among a number of other reasons). On a positive note, I have developed an increased level of empathy toward women who have abortions. Although I do not agree with abortion (I view it as killing a child) and I would not chose to have one, I understand the emotions that would lead someone to have one. That is a scary situation and an easy (or at least easier) way out is appealing, but a child shouldn't be held responsible for the actions of his or her parent(s). I also do not think I could part with my child, although I greatly support adoption. It is frightening, though, and I understand why some people turn to abortion. I can also say that I know my boyfriend would stick by me if I were pregnant and do his best to take care of me. He's a good guy and he has a strong sense of doing what he thinks is right. He was relieved to find out the test was negative, though. He was literally worried a bit sick (he was more concerned about messing up my life and schooling than himself) and was having trouble eating. Our conversations made me feel better about the situations and about our relationship as a whole.
I was scared (in case I haven't made that point yet); I prayed a lot for me to not be pregnant. I am still praying that, although not as constantly as before the first test. I would appreciate it if anyone reading this who is of the praying sort would pray for the same thing. I'm not sure when I will be taking the second test, but I will post here about the results no matter what they are.
Prison Break. one word..... Intense! I'm so glad Michael didn't leave Sucre to drown, that would have really been disappointing to see. Now everyone is pretty much on the run, including poor Sarah, the doctor. How long can this go on? It's frustrating whenever the episode ends. ugh!!!
The Bachelor. I think he's cute, the most decent, most marriage material yet. At first Lisa came off as very sweet and charming, well now she now scares me. Who has a timeline for their life and reminds themselves of it everyday? Get married by 25, have children by 27, have her wedding dress already picked out before she has even met her "future husband". This would scare any guy. Much more so than for a guy to find out that the girl he's with is a virgin, no? I dunno.
What About Brian. I just watch this show because of Brian. If I were the girl, there'd be no contest in my mind.
A color quiz for you. How can simple choices of color reveal so much? I'm not sure about my results. Anyway, try it, see if the results make any sense for you.
 | chri took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test! "Desires a tranquil, peaceful state of harmony offe..." Click here to read the rest of the results. |
A few weeks ago I wrote about an off duty Sheriff's deputy who hit & killed a young man on a motorcycle & was charged with drunken driving. He refused a breathalizer test & a court order was obtained to get a blood-alcohol level on him. The results: a blood-alcohol content of 0.24 percent, three times the legal limit. The deputy is suspended without pay & criminal & internal investigations are underway. Once the investigations are completed the case will go to a grand jury to determine possible additional charges. I understand that people who work in law enforcement are not immune to making poor choices but them seeing the consquences of drinking & driving firsthand alone should be a deterrent. It'll be interesting to see what the investigations show & what happens next......
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