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Terror @ MindSay


Terror and Changes
I was going to fix my shit up, get my life together, start the process of getting on my own two feet. And then...

My father had a heart attack. 03/09/2012.
So far so good, we got him to the hospital in time. I don't know what we're going to do .
I'm really scared . I am so scared my ears are ringing.

Pretty much I don't know what is going to happen in the upcoming weeks, things are going to change.
I will change. I have to change for myself and to secure good opportunities for my family.

Fuck, shit should've changed when my mom had a heart attack in 2010.  :depressed:  I don't know, I just don't know.
He wont be having to deal with stress shit, not allowed to I gather.
It still feels so unreal.

Monday Before Break
So, today was ridiculous. It started when I went down the hall to get the kids, and Z came running down the hall. Apparently E was running by, but I didn’t see him. Anyway, I told Z that we don’t do that, and he started cursing up a storm; the only way to describe the face of the little kids who were there with us was sheer terror. Anyway, so there’s cursing, and then there was him slamming his boots bag into my crotch, and then kicking me, and throwing his bookbag at me. I had to get Larry, who got him to walk down, but I told C that Z had to go to the t.o. room. We told him, and he wasn’t thrilled, but he went in voluntarily.  Wanted to come out during the movie’s ending, but we decided that was a no. Claudia went in to sit with him.
So at about this time, Robin walks in with A. I guess I looked at his face, so she tells me that this weekend he was out of control, and that she had to grab him by the face to get him back to her. I was uncomfortable with the mark, so I told Claudia, who told me to go tell Jackie. I went to Jackie, who told me to bring A down. It took some time, but I got him down. We tried to get him to talk about it, but he wouldn’t. He said mom had hurt his feelings, but she didn’t hurt his body (though she’d admitted to me she had). Then he said something along the lines of, “if I tell mom will get in trouble and go to jail” so clearly, this has been told to him before.
D made threats at A who was annoying him, lost is safe body, and then lost it further by messing with furniture and then leaving the room. OY. Rest of morning wasn’t too incident-y; Z was allowed to go to art with Parker, and then we all went to the caf. We talked to Jackie because while C was in the room with a calm Z, he had thrown books at her and stomped on her foot quite a bit. She said that if he was calm now, we couldn’t send him home because then it sent a bad message. Dammit. Tomorrow, I guess. First thing he does as assault.
I had a meeting with Kate during Erin’s reading time, and then went to Erin’s meeting for a bit. Came back to SS which took some prompting but I got Z and then A to do it (E and D were in T.O. having already done it and doing read aloud). Recess Z and I were outside, and A had been picked up early. Science was…rough start. E had HAD it with Z, didn’t want to hear about Science since it was solid/liq/gas and he ‘knew that already’, and some other stuff. Then Z started being unsafe w/ pencil, so C and P got that away, but he kicked her, so we got him to the t.o. room and it again took a while for him to calm down. He’s escalating.

Obama is a muslim....
and hates the country because he doesn't put his hand over his heart during the national anthem....
and can't be trusted because we don't really know about his background...

Some of the weirdness out there people believe is fascinating. Of course, coming from an America that is so warped into thinking they are the biggest proponents of some guy named 'Jesus' and his teachings, that should come as no surprise. But what else do you expect with people who can digest the apparent problem of an omnipotent 'god' displaying what amounts to a delusional and emotional multiple personality disorder through the span of a few thousand years?

I've heard some of the rednecked goons up here my way say Obama 'isn't a Christian', much the same way they blast into Romney for supposedly failing to follow the doctrines of truly vetted 'Christianity' such as...well, only Protestants, really, because a Roman Catholic would actually take orders from the Pope, thus making us a 'Papal State' run from Rome.

No matter that Mormons believe that a bunch of golden plates were found on a hill in western New York, transcribed, then lost very conveniently soon thereafter. Asking for proof in religion is like asking Tom Cruise to prove he doesn't have superpowers. Mormons still believe in the whole Jesus CHRIST thing. Close enough.

As to Obama, who supposedly is a muslim born in Kenya and raised by Arabic wolves...well, that requires slight clarification (Born in Hawaii, raised by real human parents, lived in Indonesia from the ages of 6-10, Dad is a self-described atheist). When most Americans get their 'news' from forwarded emails, which they then post as fact on their blogs, it's not hard to see that certain things get repeated again and again. Thankfully, some dude cleared up the newest Obama Muslim rumors here:

Sometimes you have to wonder if the Internet makes the majority of people dumber. Could be a true statement. But would it matter to you if he was a Muslim? Is it really because he looks different that people take issue with his actual existence? Probably. 90% of all goonish people judge in the first 3 seconds of seeing someone. For a Constitution that governs the running of this country and makes absolutely NO MENTION OF GOD it shouldn't matter if someone was elected President who believed orange kittens were the next up and coming deity. Who cares?

Hopefully he will become the next President and finally transform our country into pray 8 times a day Muslim empire that I've been hoping for all my years....


War, What Is It Good For?
    Well, I'm writing this on one of the most touchy subjects I could ever write on, and if you don't like it, well, come to the realization that this is my blog and not yours.  The definition of war is a conflict carried on by force of arms, as between nations or between parties within a nation; warfare, as by land, sea, or air. 
    On this beautiful day, Sunday, November 11th, 2007, we celebrate Veteran's Day.  It is on this day, that many of us, who have not changed our lives since the beginning of these wars, begin to surmise on the people who's life it has, and those who's lives it had affected indefinitely.  I'm a BIG libertarian, and am emphatically against violence, although I do feel that there are certain things that should never be put up with and should always be fought for, for example freedom.  The War on Terror and the War in Iraq are two wars that do nothing but remind me of Vietnam, and send my soul into aching.  58,148 of our citizens were killed in a war that didn't have to happen from 1959-1975, alot of whom did not choose to be there. Instead of learning from our history, we were doomed to repeat it, the War on Terror and the War in Iraq are two modern wars that didn't and don't have to happen.  Until there is a nation called Terror or a conflict with Iraq (where it can be actually proven that there are WMD's), and neither can be solved with words, there is no need for war.  We teach our children to not settle disagreements with violence, and to talk things out when they have a problem with someone, but we don't do it ourselves. 
    When I say we, I mean less this country and its citizens and more of the current administration...because I never voted to go into this war, myself.  In this current war, the only people who we seem to be effecting are the soldiers and their families and the people of the countries that we continually drop bombs on.  Some may read this and say that they haven't heard anything in the news about bombs being dropped on innocent people, and that's because unless you go to independent nes, such as Democracy Now! or LinkTV, you're not going to hear about it, nor will you hear about how the torture our prisoners of war endure (most of whom cannot be linked to terrorism, and are not listed), or the rape of Iraqi women and children (sometimes as a confession technique). 
    I don't want to go on all day...believe me I could...but I guess there are some things that I would like people to at least consider taking from this blog.  LOVE needs to be our religion, political affiliation, and philosophy.  Treat others as you want to be treated.  Remember that everyone is human, and should be treated and resolved with as such. Violence is rarely ever the right answer, and even when it is, it should be a last resort.  Try everyday, to remember our fellow citizens who are fighting wars they were tricked or felt obligated to fight.  Even greater, remember the ones who were fighting, but can't anymore, due to loss of life or limb.  Most of all pray for the ones who follow every word that the president says religiously.  The "good ol' boys" need to realize that Bush is NOT God, and closer to the opposite end of the spectrum.  And for those of you who support the administration, and would follow them to hell and back, research where Haliburton is being moved to, where Cheney is buying his new home, and what he is is converting all his U.S. dollars to.  If he knew he was right, and had "God" on his side in his decisions, do you think he'd be bailing out? 
    Our reputation as a country to foreigners has gone from tarnished to close to ruined.  We need to bring our troops home, and stop stationing troops in other countries.  Occupying countries breeds resentment. People who are children during the occupation and start to have resentment begin to florish will grow up to be radical America-haters.  Do we really need more of those? I'm gonna end this now, before I really do go on all day!
    Oh yeah, Ron Paul for President!!

A case in anarchy

I've never found it desirable to decorate my blog in such a fashion. But I couldn't resist.


Saying such things as :

"People should not be afraid of their governments, governments should be afraid of their people."


"Fear became the ultimate tool of this government."


...the movie "V for Vendetta" transcended all notions of simple violence and action to deliver a very powerful message. In fact, I find it hard to think that anyone watching the movie could not get their heads around what ideas were being portrayed.


"The truth is there is something terribly wrong with this country."


There is a fascinating play on the present in the movie - references to "America's never-ending War" and a brief shot of a poster that says "Coalition of the Willing" with the flags of America, the UK, and the Nazi party all morphed into one. Homosexuality and Islam are very forbidden with the country run under the auspices of faith mingled with fear that keeps people in check - sedentary and somewhat obliviously happy.


V comes along, blows up an empty building (a building that is symoblic of the government and their notions of justice) and begins to get his revenge on people who tortured him and subjected him to medical tests concering a virus. What is interesting is the dichotomy that exists - he is both a terrorist and a freedom fighter at the same moment. He fights terror of the government with terror of his own - but never against the populace as a whole (unlike the Muslim extremists of today who target indiscriminately).


Rather, he enlists the people through symbolism and hijacked news casts that both derides the government and its' people, declaring that if they wish to know who is responsible, the only need "look into the mirror"


Another point I found very amusing was the "Voice of London" - complete with his firey tevelvision show of constantly spewing hate and conservative-fascist rhetoric. If you didn't know any better, you would immediately think the person was Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity and Michael Savage all rolled into one.


Central to the theme is ultimate sacrifice for an ideal - the true feeling that an idea is more than one person - but one person can start a catalyst that will change the world completely. I suppose the only real downfall I had with the chaos and anarchy was the feeling that there was no real solution in the works as to what would replace the imperialistic-Nazi state once it was taken down. I guess V figured that the population, once opened to the real nature of their government, would eventually take matters into their own hands.


Very rarely are revolutions planned out for the eventual outcome, so I suppose the ending is no different than what would happen in the real world.


This was the best movie I've seen in a long time - and you know it's good when Fox and Drudge are decrying it and warning their loyal brain-washed subjects away from it. I may go see it again.


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