Teacher @ MindSay

Hola,

I know what you’re thinking, Jesus Christ Tim, What the fuck, where have you been???
Well let me tell you all about it:

We had a bit of a disaster with the first apartment that we were supposed to move into, I was at a job interview, walked out and was told that the landlord wanted another two months rent in advance. I think it had something to do with the girls, to the lay man they do look a little shifty. Anyway, as it turned out the agency that we went through just happened to have another place in the same area which actually turned out to be better, so here I am with my nice big room and remote control air con. (but getting Wi-Fi over here is harder than it may sound....more to follow on this subject)

I got a job with no hasel teaching in a school but from day one I felt like slipping sleeping pills into the kid's drinking water. Jesus, I thought Irish kids were bad but these little fuckers were actually eating the furniture. So I decided that the best way to go would be giving private lessons in peoples houses and I have never made a better choice in my life. I have lessons with all different ages including one student who's a professor of sociology. I wake up, write my lesson plan, and usually start work no earlier than 16.30 in the afternoon.

To be honest I hav'nt had an opportunity to really enjoy Madrid yet because I'm waiting till the 4th to be paid, but fuck it, I'm learning so much and gaining loads of experience and I knew that the first month would be a nightmare. Believe me, if you do decide to move anywhere and teach when you don't know the lingo you will really really want to go home within the first week but you have to stick it out and things will settle down for you, I promise.

Anyway the weather is great and the work is easy so I really have nothing to complain about. I went to meet my boss today to pick up some books and hand in my hours for the month and in return she gave me a laptop bag full of goodies, where would you find it?!!

Anywho, the Tim Sullivan (supersquirrel) broadcasting system in back online (for now) so I will be keeping you all up to date.

I feel like I just got the shit kicked out of me.

I got back from my trip at 2:40; trip, overall, was very good. 

While on the bus in the parking lot, I saw the parent of M; M usually has afterschool until 5 or 6, so seeing 'mom' was not a good thing.  I got off the bus, left my suitcase and stuff behind, and ran in.

Inside, I see a little boy laying on a beanbag.  I think it is An.  Then, An walks up to me to show me a picture he's been making, so clearly that's not him.  Who is he? 
Oh, just my new student.  J, but since I already have a J, I'll call him NJ for New J.  Know nothing about him except that he's been here since Tuesday.

How is J doing, btw?  Got written up on the bus again.

And then, at about 2:55, Li comes flying back into the room, livid.  Someone laughed at him and he attacked him in the 2nd grade room, and then Cathy L restrained him to get him out, and he and Kathleen flew back here and he proceeded to kick her, throw things/at me, destroy 2 timers, take everything out of my cabinets, stomp on them, flipped 5 chairs, told me he hated me, threatened the lives of his classmates, and spit. 

Oh, and I have a meeting tomorrow afternoon to officially get T as a student.  HOLY FUCK.

I am leaving this because seeing it in writing is making me start to bawl again.  I am never taking a trip again.  I am never doing ANYTHING again.

using the girl's bathroom at school.

I guess there are a few reasons, but I want to start by saying it is NOT because I am secretly a boy (eddiec, I know you've had a bad dream about this lately, and I just wanted to let you know it isn't THAT).

The first reason is, it's okay before and after school, when there aren't kids, but when school is in session... I don't wanna pee with a 2nd grader next to me (damn grown-up bathrooms being so damn far away!).  You know?  That's weird.  As a grown-up, it's weird for me, and also, I don't EVER want to be accused of doing ANYTHING not-appropriate. 

The second reason is...and it's not just this school, but apparently all schools... kids no longer know how to flush.  Parents aren't teaching this skill. Everyday, without fail, if I got into the multi-stalled bathroom, I will get the privilege of seeing the remnants of someone else's bathroom time.  9 times outta 10 just yellow, but... not delicious either way.

Which brings me to my next 'weirds me out' part:  A LOT of the time, there's pee in the toilet, but no toilet PAPER.  In a toilet designed exclusively for girls.   Are they not even doing that part?  shudders

Now that I've found the 'adults only' bathroom that has a heater... this will be a non-issue because why go ANYwhere else?, but....eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!

Another Sunday spent at work.  I KNOW; 'Emily, public schools are only open Monday - Friday'.  I'm here anyway.  Trying to motivate myself to do everything I need to do so this week goes smoothly.

Lu's last day was Friday.  I miss him terribly already.  I hope his new family treats him well.  I also hope that they adopt him and mean it.  He's a tough little guy, but a lot of parents have tough kids and stick it out with them, even when it seems impossible.  He needs the stability, the knowledge of, "even when I'm at my worst, I don't have to fear that they're going to dump me.  This is my family, and they love me".

I got to see D(M) on Friday as I was leaving and his mom was picking him up from after school.  It was so wonderful to get to hug him.  I hope he is doing well at his new program. I have NO IDEA if he's coming back to us when the course of treatment is done.  I don't know if we're enough...dammit.

There's talk of 2 or 3 new students for my program.  I am a bit panicked, but have to just take what is given. 

Time to go make some copies and straighten up a bit.

Was that just me sleeping all the way from midnight to my alarm at 6:04 without waking up in the middle of the night!??!?  First time that has happened in... wow.  More than 3 months.  Maybe I really am sick.

In other news, I think I've written in here before that one of my guys LCA has been in about 6 foster homes in his 7 years, and recently found out he was being shipped out again, but this time, the family wants to adopt him.  That to me is the silver lining; the fact that this kid will be somewhere FOREVER.  No matter how tough his behavior might be, they're agreeing to say, "this is our son, we are going to love him and work with him and get him through this".  To me, 2 of my heroes right now are Ken and Jamie. 

It can't be that simple, of course.  Apparently, Ken and Jamie are 2 men.  This does nothing for me in either direction; it's just fact.  The important thing to me is they want a child, even a tough one, and have passed all the screening needed to prove they are financially stable, have clear backgrounds, and enough money to support a child at least another 11 years.  His current foster family is apparently very religious, and thus disapprove of this arrangement, and may be making comments to him about his new family.  Which has to be hard for a little kid who likes the 2 men he's just met, and is not excited for ANOTHER new family but is also excited at the idea of finality... I dunno.  He's been more explosive than the beginning of the year the last 2 weeks, since he found out, and I can't help wondering what they say to him about it.

Either way, when we first found out he was going to be adopted, we were given an estimated departure date of mid-October.  To me, that seems REALLY soon.  Ken and Jamie may have passed the screening process, but for a kid like this... they have to be around him more to really see what they're up against/need to prepare for.  I also have to question, "Well, you've met 5 times, now you're a family!".  To me, the process seemed very accelerated, giving him a mere month to meet them and then shipping him out.

Got news yesterday after school - coming to school today, taking tomorrow off for a sleepover at their house, and then last day in my class/school is Friday.  He will not necessarily KNOW that tomo he's taking off school, OR that when he comes back on Friday, it's his last day.... but the next 2 days could be a warzone. 

I STILL feel like a truck has hit me.  All of it seems very rushed, and makes me so nervous.  He's so broken; it's the only word I can use to describe this child.  I wish I could do something to make this better for him, or to guarantee that this will get him a good life.  He has certainly earned it.