Tantrums @ MindSay

Sometimes there's a kid in a classroom that seems to live to wreck yours and everyone else's day.  They start fights with the other kids, they talk back to the teacher and when they are asked to participate in class, they respond by making snide, obnoxious remarks about the stupidity of the subject matter and the class (and the students included) in general.

Most of these things are done by the snotty kid with a smile because he knows he's getting to the other students and the teacher.  This is a temporarily satisfying feeling to the child. The child may feel, after all if he or she has to be in pain, so should everyone else!  Why should he or she be the only one hurting?

Nine times out of ten, this bane to everyone's existence is hurting and suffering.  This kid is sad and lonely and angry at the world.  You often find they have well-meaning, yet unattentive parents or in the worst case scenario a horrific home life. Sometimes the only time they feel like they exist is when they are hurting others and getting reprimanded for it.  Negative attention is better than no attention, right?

These kids often grow up to become sad and bitter adults and these sad and bitter adults often find a psuedo social life on the internet. On the net they have an even bigger voice and an even larger venue to pester others.   The internet gives them the opportunity to say things behind the safety of their computer monitors and anonymous handles that they know they wouldn't have to testicular fortitude to say to someone in real life. The sad thing is that these people are still in pain, still suffering, still have poor social skills and are still angry at the world.  They haven't developed the ability to positively confront their pain and overcome it. Instead, they've fallen back on old habits; picking fights, making snide remarks and proclaiming that everyone else is an idiot.  It's hard to ignore these people. I know it's really hard for me to ignore them, because while I have patience beyond patience with children, I have absolutely no patience with childish adults.  However, ignoring them is the best way to demonstrate that you understand that their need to annoy others and their need to say something offensive is their way of acting out.  It's the virtual temper tantrum and as most parents and teachers will tell you, the more you pay attention to a tantrum, the worst it gets.

We were getting to the end of our mini-mediation.  Two year old Tracy had apologized for knocking down the hammock (well actually, a scarf) Kristen had painstakingly suspended between the couch and the ottoman for use by her stuffed dog.  "And Kristen," I admonished, "your reaction of yelling, growling and stomping your feet was too much.  It was...childish to have a tantrum over that."  Kristen looked at me.  "Mom, I am a child.  Five year olds DO that."   

I had nothing to reply to that.

Still, Kristen relented and kissed Tracy's forehead to let her sister know all was forgiven.  They started to giggle again after that.

Well, I woke up in a VERY bad mood this morning.  I don't know why, so don't ask.  I found myself snapping at the kids and screaming at them.  I really hate it when this...this...bitch comes out. I had to REALLY scream at Avery this morning, even though it breaks my heart every time. 

When we got home from dropping off Tori at school, he asked me for a snack.  So I got up and got some fruit snacks out of the cupboard.  He proceded to throw a fit...kicking and screaming and telling me "NO".  So knowing how my temper was this morning, I bit my tongue and told myself that maybe it's not what he wanted.  So I go to give Ariana the fruit snacks and he throws another fit because he didn't want her to have them either.  Then I told him to stop throwing a fit that I would get him something else.  I knew he liked chocolate cup cakes (what kid doesn't?), so I figured this would be a catch all...stopping his tantrum and all would be fine...right?  WRONG.  He proceded to throw an even bigger fit.  I don't know what else to do.  I offered him 2 different snacks and he just wanted to throw a fit.  So my anger got the best of me and I screamed at him, told him to take the tantrum to his room and I don't want to see it the rest of the day.  I told him that if he gives me another fit like that he just pulled he will get his butt whooped.  Why does it feel like I'm not doing the right thing?  I guess we are all having a bad day today *shrugs*

I don't know, I guess today isn't a really good day for me.  I still have to call my grandmother and talk to her about a downpayment on the vehicle.  They need it in 15 days and it's larger then I expected.  But I will try my best and do what I can.  Then I have to call the car insurance company and switch over my car.  I also have to get my electric bill and bank statements for the dealership.  I don't understand why they need to know what's in my bank account.  They see what my husband gets paid in his LES, and that is the only income we were going off of...WTF?  I think I am going to call them and ask what exactlly it is and why they need it.. it went right over my head last night.  I was more concerned about the (ouch) 25.8% interest rate.  You can bet your bippy that I'm refinancing after 6 months...Holy jeezus I damn near fainted when I saw that.  Is that illegal to charge that much intrest?  Maybe my sisters can answer that for me, and any paperwork they can dig up on it would be greatful *big puppy dog eyes and batting eyelashes*

On the bright side, JT and I worked on our relationship last night *giggles*  We had lots of fun!  For once in our marriage, I actually felt that puppy love come back to me, even for a brief moment in time...it was well worth it.

I must also say thank you's to my sisters.  You have been there for me through thick and thin.  You don't judge me, you support me.  If it wasn't for you, I don't know where my life would be today.  Thank you soo much!!!!!!

Amber