Talked @ MindSay

I've been on Mindsay for about 2 and 1/2 years, but bettie and I never really talked too much.  Then one day several months ago, we became friends and never stopped chatting since.  We talked for ever and ever.  I was at *boring ol* work and it was so comforting to have someone to talk to.

I'm noticing a common thread here where Valentine told people they were like a long-lost sister.  It's funny, she called me her twin too.  Valentine is like a sister to everyone.  She finds the common threads and decides to be a sister to everyone, which is why everyone loves her so much.

Recently, work let me know not to go online anymore.  I was getting all my work done and still do, so oftentimes I just sit there bored, missing the times I talked with ~V~.

I wish I could rewind to about two months ago and keep it like that forever.  Since that's not possible, I hope for a speedy recovery.  She is missed already, so I hope she gets up out of that hospital and goes back where she belongs!

Much love,
redhat / Allison

So talked to Brad yesterday morning.
By the time we got off the phone we were both crying. We had agreed that we would try to be friends after we broke up.
I still talk to him like he's my boyfriend, but he isn't!
IT'S SO WEIRD!!
I talked to him a lot yesterday. And I spent the night at Angela's last night and she talked to him.
I knew that if we broke up it would be his parents fault.
Oh well. Once I turn 16, in ohio, as long as it's consentual, I can date him.
Pooo.
But we're ok.
Yesterday I also went shopping for homecoming. I got 2 dresses. One is black with white dots all over it. It's the one I want to wear this year. Then next I got a black one that has beads on it. It is extremely flatterring to my figure.
I look hot.
Me and hot in the same sentence.HAH that's funny.
Anyway.
So that's what happened with us.
Brad and I kind of decided that when I'm older we are going to date again, but between then and now, we can see other people.
Ciao Everyone!!
Mariah

Well, I consider myself to be busy today.

I woke up and ate toast, yum lol.
I talked to my mom.

I went with Michele to run sprints, she ran, I read my book to her.

We gave Jason REAL gatoraide since he had "homemade crap"

Came home.

Talked to "uncle" joe (if i can even call him that)

Showered.

Helped uncle dave stack wood outside. NOTE THE HARD LABOR.

talked to my mom.

had lunch.

 

and now I'm just kind of chilling out until michele gets home from her physical and we may go to the movies after dinner, if we have time.

 

Then, go to sleep and tomorrow; IT'S OFF TO MARYLAND!!!

YAY!

BEACH! : )

...but I'd fail cuz I, I just can't live a lie...

 

This is going to be a pretty quick one, since it's starting to rain pretty hard outside, and I'm going to have to go to bed anyways soon.

 

I talked to Alan online for almost an hour tonight. It was nice because it's been a while, we used to not even be able to keep a fricken conversation going for more than 5-10 minutes (pathetic, I know)....but it also reminded me of the past when we used to have conversations for hours on end, just getting to know each other. That kind of hurt to think about it, but it also made me giggle. I just wish I could turn back time....and I know I've said time and time again that I'm over him, when really--there's still a part of me that wishes differently than what I'm trying to force myself to do. I really want to get over him, but my heart won't let me, and there's still a little part that holds on when it should just let me let go...a part that tells me to keep on believing, when really--I just want to give up on him altogether. There's nothing I can do to get him back...nothing I can do to mask the jealousy when he talks about a girl (even if there's nothing between them, it's just the fact that it's not that way between us)...and right now, I can't find anything else to let go of him, because honestly--I'm not good at letting people go, and I don't know how to. I can't lie to myself and say I'm over him all the way because I know it's not true....there's still a tiny hope in the back of my mind, a little part of me that still hangs on...even when I don't want to!!!

 

Well, I'm going to go now! G'nite all!!

<3 Nicole

"And you leave my mind torn
From indescision.
You're so uncertain,
You left your thoughts inside my head.
And every single day
You fumble and fall around.
Your feet don't touch the ground...

This affection, baby, affects me"

The Distance- "Affection"

That's written by my sister's friends' band. They partly wrote it for her. Hah, Sasha promised to write me a song someday. How cute.

Ya, we went to go see the 40yo Virgin. There was a lot of the "Ohh, our elbows are touch, hehe" moments. Then we walked around, then to the mall, then back. We just talked, the whole time.

It was kinda cute. He kept putting his arm around my waist and getting close, without constantly trying to kiss me. I liked it. We drove back to my house, walked around the park *hah, lots of walkin, I know* and talked some more.

We talked for about 4 hours. He's a sweetheart, not once callin me fat, grabbing my pudge, elbowing me...nothing. Hah, who knew guys could be like that.

So he asked me to his homecoming. Fun shit, now I gotta find a dress that fits. I'm a size 6 now...I don't think any will fit right. That might suck. I've gotta try them before Sat.

I also talked to Mike. Hahah, we're gonna have some fun come thanksgivin. Gonna hang out n get to know eachother.

I miss him. I also want to know what he's like. Would we be compatible? Could we ever date? He lets people believe so many things about him that aren't true, I want to know the real him.

Boys...There's also Evan, who I've yet to actually meet. I think I ticked him off, me not bein the whole straightedge kinda person like him. Oh well, it's me. Take me or leave me.

Had another sleepless night last night.

Then, get this, I completely forgot to do a whole project that was worth like 1/3rd of my class grade. FUN, HUH?? I ended up getting some points for taking pictures. Like, 20/100 points, if im lucky.

Fuck.

Fuck me.

No, really. If I get pregnant, I'd be able to leave this fuckin hellhole Ive created for myself called school.

Hahah. Ya. Right.