I went to Kaleb's house and wouldn't talk.
"What's up Golds?" he said coming over.
"Don't touch me."
*************************
Clinging to the universal truth:
We always want what we cannot have.
And what we have, we don't want.
I don't want it.
***********************
I liked everything a lot better when nothing mattered.
I had Kaleb when I wanted him, Jennifer had him when I didn't.
I had Christopher when I wanted him, Bethany had him when I didn't.
I had Dusty when I wanted him, he had himself when I didn't.
And now, it's either Kaleb with his arguments.
Or Christopher with his insecurity.
Or Dusty with his infinite, depressing wisdom.
I want them all.
********************
A friend once said to me that life
doesn't mean that there should always be an adventure,
rather that everything small should
seem like an adventure.
But when I sit here, watching them
around me-holding their heads up
and smiling towards me,
I wonder whether the heartbreak
of inadequacy is worth the adventure.
I've let them down just by existing.
But then again, they couldn't live without me.
********************
Kaleb and Peach are asleep on the couch.
Her little stuffed animals, Willow and Tuft are tucked under her arm.
Kaleb is holding her like
he won't ever let her go.
He is my Heathcliff, and Dusty my Edgar.
Was Catherine happy marrying Edgar?
If she had Heathcliff all to herself, she wouldn't be quite so fond of him.
Bronte never let me down.
