Sword @ MindSay 
samurai
Woke up this morning at 1030 am. This is after going to bed ruffle around 3 am. What was the first thing I did. I went out the kitchen and asked my mother if she wanted to go to the Walden super flea. She said yes. So I returned my room, got changed out of my pj's and off to the super flea we went.
Upon arriving at the super flea, we looked around. Since it was a nice day out, weather wise, most of the vendor's where outside. No finding anything interesting out there, we went inside. Where in a case I saw it. It was a pirate cutlass (this one is identical to it). Sweet! I just had to have it. So I paid the 40 bucks for it and took it home.
Upon arriving back at home. I quickly returned to my room, and took down the sword that I had on my wall. Which really didn't have anything to do with anything. It was just a sword, that I bought years go. I put the new pirate cutlass up in its place. It's still so cool. Hehe. Then it was time for today's dinner. Which was Velveeta mac & cheese, and polish sausage. Yum. After that, I turned on the TV and waited though the pre-race show's for today's NASCAR race. The winner would be Denny Hamlin, car number 11.
Then while chatting with a couple people on here, I watched Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead man's chest. Yes, I've seen it many times now. I still like watching it. There's just something about pirates I've always liked.
Anyway that brings us to right now, and right now I am watching NHRA drag racing. This after refusing an invite to go out to a movie, with "Lady J". Sorry, just don't feel like going all the way out there, and plus I work in the morning. The movie started at 920.
So here I sit, at home, as usual. Right? With way to much on my mind. Mostly negative thoughts. For example, why do I still live here? Do I have to? What would I do if my father died, or my mother? Or worse yet, both at the same time? What will my life amount to? I mean the biggest fear a man should have, is finding out that his life has no purpose or meaning, and I think that's what my life has come to.
Alright, now that I've go that out , off my chest, so to speak. Not like it still wont be on my mind. Anyway, what else is on my mind? Nothing much else really. Do any of you valued readers have any comments, or questions ?
~ Reply please
I've never had a dream this disturbing, realistic and visceral. I could feel the sword in my hand as the blade slid through the mens' necks. It's creepy just reading it - imagine the slithering, slicing sensation sliding up your arm, tickling your shoulder.
This wasn't isolated violence - there was a long history with the group these men represented. I clearly remember feeling that the men were just goons and that I was off to deal with their employers, sword in hand.
It wasn't just some random sword - it was the one in the corner of my bedroom.
So what does it mean? Probably nothing. Could be my subconscious wanting to strike out at something that my conscious can't get its hands on. Too many faceless problems that I feel helpless to solve.
Or maybe I'm reading too much into things. *half-smile*
Okay, this week has been a roller coaster ride. But hey, I always say there is always something positive in every negative, you just got to find it.
First, On Monday I found out that the house, this wonderful fantastic house I had found for this miraculously low price, had been sold ninety minutes before I received the call that my loan had been approved. As heart breaking as it was, I figured that this happened hopefully, this happened because there was something better out there just waiting for me to find it. I have to make myself feel this way or become depressed and angry. There is nothing I can do to change what has happened. But I do have to admit that I have been suppressing resentment toward the unknown purchaser who killed my dream.
Immediately after I got off the phone, my cell phone beeps indicating I had missed a call. It was from the Physicians assistant (Tara) she had left me a message. My pap came back bad, AGAIN! She was referring me to the Gynecologist again who had done my laser surgery. I had squamous cells and mild dysplasia present. Translating into “Pre Cancer cells.” Squamous cells are cancer cells, but they are not to be mistaken for malignant cells. It just means that at any given time, they may turn malignant.
I went to see the Doctor, he was very optimistic, but…. He did the biopsies. Mind you, I have been through this biopsy two times prior to this, making this my third time since May of 2006. We joked, the Doctor and I to break the ice while he was doing the procedure. My mother, very worried about this had asked to accompany me and I allowed it. So it was very hard for me to ask the doctor in front of my mother the question we had joked about.
I had sex for the first time like eight months or more and of course the first time since the surgery. I tried to ask him why it hurt when I had sex, and practically choked on it because my mother was present. Finally I just blurted it out, I told him “Okay,,, I finally broke my celibacy and had sex and it hurt, for days, why?” He laughed as he found it hard to believe that I did not have a boyfriend but knew I was not having sex as we discussed this before.” So this is what he told me, in front of Mom mind you, “ Laura, if you don’t use it, you lose it. So it’s going to hurt.” LOL. My mother told me later she about fell out of her chair laughing. LOL!
When he did the procedure, I wanted to jump off that table because, it hurt. All I did instead was say OUCH! Mind you, I had been through this twice before and never felt more than a pinch. Afterwards I was smirking. I apologized to the Doctor for my reaction and the Doctor told me that I took things a lot better than the woman before me. I told him that out of the three procedures’ that was the only one that hurt, and that must mean the Steroidal Epidurals were working.
That leads us up to the procedure today. My third Steroidal Epidural. It appears that three is the number here, and yes, IT HURT! My stepfather drives my mother and I there as I am not permitted to leave without a driver. After the procedure I smirked again. It stayed there for awhile and finally as I got into the car with my parents my mother turned and asked me “ Laura, you smirked yesterday after I saw you turn almost purple when the Doctor was done working on you and you are doing it again, why are you smirking?” I blurted out without thinking and to whom was listening. This was my answer, “ Mom. They did not hurt before, they do now, It means the Epidurals are working and I got my feeling back!” “ I can’t wait to have sex, I did not realize how much feeling I lost.” “ No wonder why my ex husband and my short term lover sought another, it had to be sooo frustrating.” She started laughing and my stepfather of god knows how many years. Who still can visualize the tiny little girl he knew as his daughter turned red as a beat. But said not one word.
This brings me back to that double-edged sword. I got my feeling back! Like I stated earlier, there is a positive to every negative. God, who ever this guy is, that I finally have sex with, I hope that I feel the difference like I did in these procedures. I will probably go crazy and die of cardiac arrest. LOL! But boy, what a way to go! At least I will have a BIG OL SMILE on my face! LOL!
Okay enough for now. I need to stop thinking or fantasizing on this. I have to remind myself, I don’t have a boyfriend, but do I ever wish I find one before this wears off.
So I guess the moral of this story is; Great things can come out of uncomfortable and scarey situations.
Bye for now,
Laura
§ Chapter 11 §
Tarin slammed the Tome of the Prophets abruptly on the floor in front of her. After her discussion with Taurnil earlier that day, Tarin had engulfed herself in the large book trying to find a fault in what the Elf had told her. It appeared as though what Taurnil had said was the truth. One of the prophets had even gone so far as to draw a sketch of the woman he saw in his vision. There was no doubt about it, Tarin was the person they prophesied about.
She sat on the pile of pillows staring blankly at the heavy leather bound book that lay in front of her. A tear welled up in her eye, and she brushed it away as it fell down her cheek. It’s not fair she thought. They should not expect so much out of me; I cannot do the things they imagine I can. Tarin felt as though the weight of the world was crushing her, and she lay back on the pillows.
“Perhaps next time you will do the homework assigned to you before walking into a trial,” she looked up to find Galdor standing on the edge of the platform. The Elves were always poking fun at the organized schoolhouses humans insisted on building. The only things not taught to the young Elf-lings by their families were the ability to wield a weapon and how to control their magical powers. These were taught by the masters, those who had been practicing and fighting for countless centuries.
“I did not ask for this,” Tarin moped.
“Anyone faced with such a responsibility would feel the same way,” Galdor comforted, taking a seat beside her on the cushions. “However, many of us are faced with obligations we are not prepared to accept. But if you do not accept your destiny, and take accountability for it, you will leave the world to fend themselves against an evil that only you can defeat. If you ignore this fact, you leave the world to certain devastation.”
“I know,” Tarin said, as another tear slowly rolled down her cheek.
Galdor reached for her face, and brushed away the tear. Tarin gazed at the Elf as he did so, catching a glimpse of his dark, glittering eyes for a brief moment, as his weather beaten hand graced her face. Tarin stiffened as he reached to sweep away a strand of hair that had come loose and fallen into her eyes.
“You do not need to be afraid,” Galdor whispered. “That is one thing I can assure you of. No matter what happens in this world, you do not need to fear me, for I will never harm you.”
Galdor stood and walked across the platform, turning to her before he stepped onto the adjacent dais.
“Have faith in yourself young Tarin, you are strong enough to accomplish whatever you put your mind to.”
Galdor stepped off of the dais, and disappeared behind the palm-sized leaves. Tarin watched as he left, then once again drew her gaze to the large tome located on the floor. She breathed in deeply as she forced herself to stand.
She wandered across the platforms until she located the dining tables. Final preparations were being made for the nights’ meal. Tarin did not realize that she was starving, and he stomach growled as she watched plates of fruits being placed on tables.
A crow-like call sounded from behind her, and Tarin turned to see an Elf holding a large black bird in his hands. The bird let out another caw, before the Elf released it once again. The blonde haired Elf smiled as he saw her watching him, and signalled for her to have a seat.
“Dinner will be served momentarily my lady,” the Elf said. “Please, make yourself comfortable until the rest of the guests arrive.”
Tarin sat at the table nearest to her, and waited patiently for others to join her. Moments later, Elves began to filter in from all directions and sat on the benches and chairs under the tables. The air was suddenly filled with Elvish laughter, and a minstrel took up song as more guests arrived. Eauthrin and Geheed joined Tarin, and told her many stories of the lands they explored that day. Moments later, Pansoic, Filmarc, and Manil joined the group and more stories were shared about the mysterious Elven city and the places they discovered.
Tarin sat quietly and listened to the stories, until Eauthrin asked of her day’s events. She shyly told the party about the mystical battle she had fought that morning, which was followed by a roar of laughter. Tarin’s face reddened as her colleagues continued laughing.
“Next time, you should join her,” Galdor said, taking a seat beside the blushing Tarin. “The training will do you well. And the encouragement would be greatly appreciated I’m sure.”
Tarin nodded, and the five Men quickly agreed to their new duties.
“Then it’s settled,” Galdor smiled, his dark eyes sparkling. “Tomorrow we will all go to the other realm and practice our skills.”
§
Tarin awoke early the next morning to the sound of heavy rainfall. She remembered instantly that she was sleeping outside and stood quickly to avoid getting wet. As she stood, Tarin realized that the leaves of the trees had merged together, creating a waterproof roof above her. Tarin stared at the magical leaves, astounded by the magic of the forest. She knew it would be many months until she fully understood the mystical forest, and smiled as she began preparing for the day’s training.
Galdor stepped quietly onto the platform, carrying a small tray covered with fresh bread and fruit. Tarin accepted the breakfast, and sat on the floor with him as they ate the meal together. He had also brought his long bow with him, and a few scrolls that he stored in a satchel.
As they finished their breakfast, Enelya led the group of Men to the dais, explaining the process to which they would enter the other realm, and encouraged them that the trip was safe and that they would not be hurt during the battle. Once the group was assembled, Enelya wished them good luck, and clapped her hands together while whispering an enchantment. Tarin closed her eyes, and seconds later felt the warmth of the morning sun beating down on her pale face.
When she opened her eyes again, she found herself standing on a large ridge located on a cliff face. They were quite far off the ground, and Tarin stared at the horizon. She looked upwards, and found that they were on a cliff, but could also see more rock beyond the top of the cliff face. She looked behind her to find Galdor and the rest of the company inspecting the ridge, trying to find a trail.
After much searching, Eauthrin found a trail wide enough for them to walk across leading to the edge of the cliff face, where they would be able to reach the top of the cliff. The party followed him and made their way to the top of the cliff. As Geheed pulled Tarin up from the trail, she gazed upon a large metal door leading further into the mountain.
“What now?” Manil asked, tapping the hilt of his sword against the ten-foot high door.
Tarin could see that there was no door handle or hinges anywhere on the entrance, and breathed heavily as she approached the metal door. A fine writing could be seen halfway up the door, and she squinted at the script.
?????????????
?!?!?!see below?!?!?!?!
“What does it say?” Tarin said as Galdor came and stood beside her.
“I am not sure yet,” he said, his dark eyes scanning over the runes. “I have seen this script before. Give me a few moments and I will try to decipher the code.”
The group stood around patiently as Galdor examined the runes. Tarin watched respectfully as he tried to determine what was written there. After pondering the runes for several minutes, Galdor let out a call.
“I’ve got it!”
The group gathered around to listen to the Elf’s dictation of the lettering.
“It says: ‘Pull with all your might, only a whistle you'll gain but almost out of sight, someone may shrink in pain.’”
“And what exactly is that suppose to mean?” Filmarc said as he stared at the strange lettering.
“It’s a riddle,” Manil said, teasing his older brother. After considering the answer for a few moments, he smiled and quickly shared his response. “I believe the answer is ‘a bow and arrow.’ But I have no idea how that is going to help us open this door.”
“Well, young Manil,” Galdor started. “You never quite know what will open these doors. Everyone look around for a hole large enough for an arrow to go through.”
The party began scouring the area, trying to find the answer to the riddle. Tarin looked behind a few large boulders to the left of the doorway, and called out to the party as she realized what she had found. Seconds later, the company had gathered behind the large boulders, and gazed upon the answer to their riddle.
It was not somewhere an arrow could be shot, but an engraving of a standard long bow and an arrow carved into the back of one of the boulders. Galdor removed his bow and an arrow from his quiver, and gently placed his weapon into the carving. The arrow fit perfectly, but the bow was too small for the impression. He was about to remove the bow, when a piece of the boulder moved. The etching had magically changed size to fit the bow, and gripped onto the weapon tightly.
The company ran out from behind the boulders to see the large metal door moving slowly upwards. When the door had reached the top of the doorway, a loud clank was heard, and the door clicked into place. From behind the boulder, they heard the rattle of the bow, as it was released from the impression and landed on the hard stone ground. Galdor returned carrying his bow and urged the group onwards.
“Shall we?”
!?!?!?!?!?This part is suppose to be written in Runes, however, I am not able to upload them here. So imagine you are reading beautiful Runes instead!?!?!?!?!
The title is a phrase that I have used often since hearing it.
It means many things, and nothing at all.
But to the point of the post. I was playing Tennis yesterday and doing horribly. I was down 4-0 in the first against my father. Now I realise that I am not a very good Tennis player but I am better than that.
I was about to start serving in the fifth game when the title phrase came to me.
On of it's meanings is that all things come from a wellspring of tallent and skill, that if you can master one art you can use that mastery to enhance all of the other skills in your life.
I would never say that I have mastered the art of the sword (my name is the statemnt of a goal not an achievement). but i relaxed my grip holding it lightly in my hands like it was a sword that I intended to use to deadly effect.
As soon as I did so my movements became more sure I connected more often and with more precission.
I ended up winning that set 6-4 and went on to lead 4-2 in the second when we ran out of time.
Anyway, enough of my rambling.
Have a good one.
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