Surprises @ MindSay

You plod along through life fulfilling your personal multitudes of responsibilities – you work, you run errands, you go home and work some more – maybe even work out for your own physical good instead of for everyone else’s demands,  you chill out in front of a boob tube or in a book, you go to sleep,  then you get up the next day and do it all again. On occasion when you can fit it into either your schedule or your energy level…or BOTH… you schedule a few hours for dinner or lunch, or even an entire day for some random recreation with friends you don’t have time to see NEARLY as much as you would like. Of course, you will PAY for that recreation time with extra hours of make-up time in the errand and work category, either before or after your digression from responsibility, but it seems worth the sacrifice…at least sometimes.

In quiet moments, you sometimes contemplate the possibilities for your future, which really don’t look so promising from your present vantage point. You realize your life isn’t exactly as you had once hoped it would be, but it is as it should be and you’ve learned to accept it.

Every now and then some sappy chick flick comes on the cable channel you happened to leave your TV on while you’re working on your laptop, or dusting and cleaning house or trying to juggle your bills and bank account, or sometimes while you’re just lying on the sofa being a slug for no special reason at all other than that you are convinced that you have earned the privilege to be a slug when you damn well feel like being one. You try not to get involved in the sappy love story on the TV because you’ve been around the block enough times to know that crap like that just doesn’t happen in real life. MEN like that just don’t happen in real life. And yet, in the closing scenes, you find yourself foolishly wondering, “Why can’t that happen to ME?” You shrug and chuckle at your own silliness in even considering such a foolish question – you remind yourself that such things just don’t happen in real life, to real people, like you. Then you get up and get back to work and to minding the responsibilities that you’ve shamefully neglected for 2 hours while indulging in some absurd female fantasy.

And then one day when you least expect it – not just because you’ve lost all hope for expecting it but also because you don’t even feel deserving to hope for it anymore – one day when you least expect it but need it most, but are far too proud to ever ADMIT that you need it – one day when you least expect it...

...something magical happens…

Day one of the semester is is coming to a close and has been decent enough for a first day, in spite of the fact that I've managed to throw up twice and have had multiple moments of nervous nausea. Explanations are to come.

Anyway, I kicked off the day by going to Fin. Aid. and picking up my check. Thank God it was in--I was sure that the university would have screwed me over like they usually do and not given me my check until the following week. However, the full amount was there and is now sitting happy in my bank account (*sigh* oh how happy having money makes me!).
From there I went to my US History after 1877 class. It's a class that has multiple sections and is televised to other rooms on campus as well as other branches of this university in surrounding areas. I was annoyed by where I had to sit (small'ish room in which all the good seats were already taken) because I managed to snag the seat that was the closest to the televised camera. Sooo, I was on the tele for a bit until the professor came in and began her lecture, at which point the camera switched over and began broadcasting her as opposed to me (thank God!). I later ran into a friend who's in the class at one of the other locations that it's broadcast to on campus and she said that she and her boyfriend, Josiah (also a friend--one of my group, one of my besties, if you will. lol) were trying to find me on their TV and then they were like "There she is!" when I took my seat in front of the camera. lol Needless to say I plan to arrive extra early on Wednesday and get a much better seat.

After History my sister and I walked down to Pizza Hut and had lunch. Although it was good, it was a little hard to keep my gag reflexes under control and actually enjoy my meal. The reason for this is as follows:
When I get nervous, stressed, and/or excited about something, I have oral issues, so to speak, and will gag at the thought of ingesting most anything. It's weird and in no way appealing, I know, but we all have our nervous ticks I guess and my stomach happens to be mine.

Now then, why on earth would I be nervous, stressed, and/or excited this early in the day? Well, I got a call while I was in History. And when I got out of class I saw I had a voicemail. So, I listened to it. It was Ryan. Oh my. He seemed very apologetic about things and thanked me for the gift, saying he was "so undeserving" (this is true, is it not?), the gift was so "unbelievably thoughtful," and that he would "do a better job keeping in touch this time", give him a call, etc. He never specifically mentioned the whole "stood you up" issue, though. So, I don't know. Obviously in hunky-dory land I'd like to think everything's golden and jump at the opportunity. However, whatever it is/was that caused him to do away with me, so to speak, is not something that is magically cured and disappears after you're given a gift. And so, I know full well that that call was only out of guilt. And what better way to relieve a guilty conscience than by making things "right"....surface deep, anyway. If he really wanted to keep the lines of communication open and flowing his message wouldn't have told me to call him, he would have said he'd try back later. Or he would have said something along the lines of "Please call me when you have a chance, I'd like to talk." Or even, "Give me a call back. I'm not in classes/busy as these times ________." But none of that. I'm sorry, maybe he is being honest. But if he is then maybe he needs to get a clue and stop putting the ball in the girl's court and making her have to do all the work. I refuse to be the person that "holds the friendship together" anymore. It takes efforts on both parts. So anyway, I sent him a short sweet text in response to his message, telling him I was sorry I'd missed his call, was glad that he likes his gift, and that I hope he has a good semester, too.

At 1:40 I had Marriage and Family. Seems like it's going to be a great class (in spite of the 75+ students in it! Oi!). However, on Wednesday she wants us to introduce ourselves to the class and tell one important/descriptive thing about ourselves. So just what exactly am I supposed to say?...."Hi, I'm Mea. I'm a klutzy dork and public speaking makes me nervous," ? lol I don't know...

After classes and everything my mom, sis, and I went to Target where I bought two hoodies and two shirts (I may return the two shirts....or at least one of them, I have yet to decide).

Hm....I hope tomorrow has lots of good things in store...

Free Dinner last night

 

I was very tired when I left work last night and I decided to go to McD's and just get a burger/fries. Bad for me I know, but it is what it is, lol! When I got to the cashier to pay he told me that the person in the car in front of me paid for my dinner and said Merry Christmas, pay it forward!

 

How unexpected and always fun. I have done this over the years and enjoyed suprising folks here and there, and not just at Christmas time, but year round when the urge hits me.  But I have never been the reciprocant. It made me smile and brightened up a otherwise stressful and challenging day for me.

 

So pay it forward folks today with anything... a compliment, buy someone coffee or a meal, they don't have to know its from you either. Be creative, be simple.  If your coworker next to you loves herbal teas, place a box of herbal teas on their desk, things like that!

 

You would be suprised at how that can really make someone's day or impact them deeply.  If you have done a pay it forward, or been on the receiving end of it, share it here so others can be encouraged.

 

Love and Laughter,

Dawn

so...stuff, that seems to be my new word.

 

i'm planning on going out and visiting mark soon.... i cant wait to see him.....but i need a fucking job that is actually going to help. the place i just started at only pays 6.50 an hour....and the longest shift taht i'm available for in the evenings is three hours long. i woiuldnt mind actually getting a job that is going to work with me...i start school in like a week and a half and i would love to work 25 hours a week, but unless the pay is at least 8.00 i cant do it....i'd have to work a ton of overtime just to afford gas and school.... so the trip to see mark would be out of the question.

though, we did discover that driving out there right now would be more expencive than flying out, so i think i may do that. i almost want to surprise him.... like, work with his buddies to set up a day, and like make them take him out to dinner and hten i just show up at the place and act like it's completely natural..... and be all: oh, they invited me, so how're things?...... it sounds better in my head, sorry.

I've noticed, blogs are mostly about complaining...it's like no one can be happy for someone elses happiness, we all need to compare misery, to see who has it worse off.... just a thought.

oh, a train ride out to cali is like 550 dollars, and it takes 15 hours.... ouchie.... just a thought, again....thinking is a dangerous pastime, i know.

thought about writing some new poetry, but it hasnt been flowing lately... i read mark my poem frozen.....(it may be in here somewhere....*shrugs*) and the only thing he could really say was that there was a lot of emotion..... and he just seemed really thoughtful about it..it kinda disturbed me..... oh well.... enjoy