Studying @ MindSay



 

   
Thursday March 12 - Big Chemistry Test
KitsunenoTora

Drinking: Nothing, but I'm thirsty. :/
Reading: Bokurano and the new Naruto chapter (ZOMG STUPID CLIFFY GODDAMIT)
Playing: Rune Factory 2
Working on: Taylor's Christmas present, RG's Hanekoma pic in Photoshop - I can't draw snow. DX
Listening to: 89X Morning show's podcast

KitsunenoTora is feeling: Tired, overheated

Yet another day I didn't get up when I told myself to. I set my alarm to wake me up at 11:00, because I wanted to get up early to study some more for my chemistry test, but I ended up getting up around 1:00. >.> I stayed up too late, I was just too awake last night to even think about getting into bed until nearly 4 am. Now today, for some strange reason, I was really tired at midnight. (Although it's almost 3 now, haha. XD) I don't get it - I didn't sleep much more than I usually do, maybe an hour more. I got 10 instead of 9. It just took place at different times. Well, actually, I think I got around 6 or 7 last night... I dunno, I don't remember. It's strange, sometimes I work better on less sleep than I do on a normal amount or more. You'd think it'd be the opposite, but I've had days where I was way more awake and alert while running on 4 hours of sleep than days when I get 8 or 9. Weird~

Anyway, I got up, took a shower, and studied some more. Although it was really hard to concentrate on it - I can't do anything if there's a tv on in the room I'm in, my eyes and attention are just drawn to it automatically. Even if it's a show I despise and would rather do my work. I'm just so easily distracted. ^^;; So I ended up watching more of the movie that was on (that I've seen 50 times but just can't remember the name of... hell, I can't even remember the name of one of the actors. I am lame. DX He's Indiana Jones. Goddam I'm awful. XDDD) than studying, but I had gone over everything the night before, so.... I did know a few things.

I went to class an hour early because Dr. Khan said he'd also be there early to help us study and answer questions. He ended up being 15 minutes late, which he blamed on a broken copier. In the end, he only did one problem in front of the class, the rest of the time was spent joking with one of the other students and taking individual questions. Which was annoying - I didn't have any specific questions, I just wanted him to do a few of the problems on the board with the class as practice so I could set it more solidly in my brain. Last minute cramming is not the way to go, and I wanted him to do some a few times so that it would at least stick longer in my brain. So I was basically left to my own devices anyway. I probably won't go early again. Although, it was good study time, there wasn't much to distract me except my own nervousness. Half my time before the test was spent nervously tapping my foot and staring off into space, trying to remember things - I was way too nervous to focus on a sheet of paper. DX

5:30 rolled around, and it was time for the test. I have never been so nervous for a test in my life. Luckily beforehand he mentioned that he went easy on us on Chapter 6 - there were two problems, and you could pick whichever one you wanted to do, and only one. I picked the easiest one, of course. XP Anyway, I skipped right to the math problems section, because that section was the one that I had all my cramming teetering on the edge of memory for. So I got that done and then did the multiple choice in the beginning. I think I did well, which I'm relieved about. I did so terrible on my last test, I don't even want to think about it. DX There were two multiple choice questions I wasn't too sure about, and one math problem one that I got confused about at the end, but I'm pretty confident I got at least a B. I finished really early too - at about 6:10 - so I spent a good 20 minutes checking over my math and making sure I didn't make any minor errors. Then I turned it in (almost knocking over one of the expensive glass tubes on the desk in the proccess, oops. Luckily he caught it) and walked around for a while. I was going to go to the library right away and get on a computer until 7, but then I realized that Andrea might be hanging around the corner in the cafe, so I headed there. This big fat Asian guy was walking by - apparently he saw me playing Kingdom Hearts with Andi yesterday. I guess he joined the club, but I'd never seen him before yesterday. He introduced himself and shaked my hand. I think his name was Kevin, but I'm not sure. I'm terrible with names. XD; His hand was REALLY WARM. Like, he was feverish or had just been running for a while. (But he wasn't sweaty, and with his physique I doubt the latter, sorry to say. >.>;) It was strange, but maybe it was just me, I was just outside. I felt my hand afterwards, and it was cold, so maybe.

I just saw the usual guys playing video games and that board game that I can't understand no matter how many times I've seen it played, so I turned around and left. That Kevin guy had acted like he wanted me to wait around and talk, but I wasn't too interested. He seemed nice and all, but it didn't seem very reasonable to me to stick around for only half an hour, he'd probably just get back as I was leaving. Plus, I don't know a lot of the guys in the club that well, anyway.

Went to the library and surfed the forum for a bit. It was really busy, but no one was really talking about anything I wanted to talk about, so I just commented on my test and surfed the net for a few minutes before I had to leave.

I walked down to A building and waited for my ride there. A few of my classmates were in the little lobby there talking about the test - one of them asked me how I thought I did. Although she didn't ask me anything after that, although it looked like she wanted to make conversation. Oh well. I waited around for about 3 minutes before I realized Pat's truck was outside, I had been looking for mom's van instead, so it didn't even register. He parked way at the other end of the circle anyway, which is kinda hard to see because of the blinds.

Got home and did really nothing of importance... just ate, worked in Photoshop, taked on the forum a teensy bit, played Rune Factory 2, etc. Oh, and I talked to Silent. Apparently that girl he had been forced to ask out by his friends (who said no, twice) made a bet with one of her friends - and if she loses she has to go out with him. I told him that if she loses that bet he should say no - she's just playing games with him, and he's just going to get hurt. I can tell that she's totally not worth it by what he's told me, anyway. Although he didn't exactly tell her in the most eloquent of ways... he outwardly said "I hope you win that bet" rather than explaining how he feels about the bet to her... I don't think it went over that well. He said later that she said "I'm going to drop a nuke on you," but he wasn't sure if she was joking. I don't think she was. He definitely soiled something in the way he said it - she's definitely mad. I had been really hoping that for his sake, things would end up well... but he handled it in the wrong way and screwed it up, it seems. D: Poor Silent, I feel bad for him. But what do you expect? Despite how mature he is (even I'm impressed, I wish my brother was as mature and smart as him) he's only 12, and has never dealt with something like that before. He didn't even want it to happen - he confided in one of his friends that he liked her, and word spread amongst his other friends, who then forced him to ask her out, starting the whole thing.

Of course, I have no right to talk, since I've never even gotten even close to confessing to someone and have no personal experience, but I've seen it a million times before, so I can at least work with it "on paper." He said it in a hateful way - which is a reasonable reaction, just not the right one - instead of just mentioning how he feels about it in a calm way, so it's bound to blow up in his face. I just didn't tell him - I didn't want to ruin any hope he had. And you never know, I might be wrong. Maybe she was joking, and wasn't offended. I wasn't talking to her, so I can't know.

...I'd offer to join in a group chat with him and her to help sort it out, but he got rather philosophical after she logged out and started quoting some lines from a website. One was something akin to: "When the pain becomes enough, people will allow anyone to be a doctor."  Which applies directly to that offer, and after mentioning it he told me that he wanted to work it out himself rather than rely on someone else to try and fix it. That he'd rather suffer nobly than lean on someone else he hardly even knows. Which is admirable. Plus, I know that road too well - from trying to help Dixie. She got to the point that she cried out for help on her forum, to a group of people she hardly knows, just has a relationship with over the internet... and none of us could help her, really. So I couldn't exactly offer to act as a medium and help them figure it out, could I? It's not my business anyway, no matter how much I want him to work it out in a way that doesn't hurt him too much. There's only so much I can do, so I suppose I can only just be there to hold conversation with him while he tries to sort it out. He told me that it helps him keep his composure, so I guess it's enough.

...This is getting surprisingly long considering it's only spanning one day for once. O.o It's really late anyway, I should head to bed. (WTF why do I keep on spelling "bed" as "bead?" DX)

Goodnight, digital abyss.
 
 
   
 

Ouch, and Productivity!
For once, this was not my fault. Or, at least, it wasn't due to being a klutz. Perhaps I'm getting better.

And the collective groan from the audience would be, "Oh, what did she break this time?"

Nothing, actually. But Pavlov conditioning led to a pulled glute. I think. Something in that region.

I went for a three-day vacation with Tony and some of the girls in his family over break. It was pretty sweet, but cold, as Duluth can be in January. Today, it was seventy degrees warmer than that vacation. Huge temperature shifts inside of a week can do things to you.

Or, maybe, it's just the feeling of the warm breeze, the extra moisture in the air from melting snow, the sight of melting snow, and that happy mixture of mud and grass that heralds spring. Whatever it was, it means beginning of track season.

I haven't run track since my senior year of high school. Apparently three years aren't enough to erase the desire for the new track surface, fresh shoes, athletic deodorant, slush kicked up into your shorts, and the jolt of stimulant from your inhaler. Or, maybe it's just the suffering, the straining, and the endorphins. Those are pretty cool, too.

My Tuesday afternoon class is at the other end of campus, and one of my friends offered to walk with me, as we hadn't had a chance to catch up and chat. It's about five minutes, or fifteen if you're playing with a racquetball and keep having to dash off on recon missions after the little blue thing. Friend and roommate (despite Lizzie moving down the hall, I still think of her as my roommate) have been going out running in the mornings. I am envious, but it's the variety of envy that says, "I'm happy not to be there."

Not happy to miss running - I want to get back into running, and bump up what I'm capable of for distance (and get back into what-shall-be-defined-as 'shape'). Rather, happy that my slender roommate, and my fall-season-athlete friend don't have to see me run.

But, I definitely want to run. And, okay, this was my fault, but I was doing some sprinting after the ball (recon had turned into a distance-throwing competition). And, on some dash or another, I pulled something. Rather painfully. And stretching didn't seem to help it any. Nor sitting through a three-hour afternoon class. I was getting all excited about being back with the gang for our Tuesday night study, and I am in too much pain to walk to my car (driving is also questionable, as it's the right side).

So now I'm both physically hurt and disappointed.

But, there is unrelated good news! Being financially strapped, I can only afford two of the six textbooks I need at present (until my next paycheck or two, anyway). But, my ethics teacher gave me a loaner until my next paycheck, Signscout gave me the text needed for a signing class he's already taken, and the girl across the hall is taking the same anatomy class that I am (different section, I believe), and let me borrow her book for the afternoon.

Girl-across-the-hall is not a case of 'borrow it whenever you need it', simply because, she's very rarely around. Not something I can count on for another five weeks, I think. I mean, it probably won't happen for another five weeks that we're both in the house with enough overlap for me to borrow her book. But, still, I can do my homework for two more classes now! So, I'm excited.
 
 
 

   
Pulling an another all-nighter...
I'm so tired of this crap....

Since I had the surgery, I've been at least 3 days behind in all my work for finals week, which conveniently starts tomorrow at 8am. But that's okay since I will be staying up all night to finish my Color Theory Project and study for Economics, because I have them on the SAME EFFING DAY!! So not only will I be up all night...I will have to sit through a four hour class critiquing other people's work, then 20 minutes of nothingness, oh then another 2hours of an Economics final that will probably rape my life. All the while I'll have to stay awake...

So let's start the caffeine IV drip now please.....

@__@

Also, I'm still researching the whole Deism vs Agnosticism vs Judeo-Christian-Moslem thing....which will probably have to wait until after finals lol...I don't wanna burn myself out.
 
 
   
 

it's 4 am, i'm waking up to a book
I can't get that stupid test out of my mind, so I'm waking up at random times to study for it, and it's still a week away. Oh well. At least I can get back to sleep around 20 minutes or so of reading.

ALSO

I notice how I can be unintentionally judgmental sometimes about physical attractiveness, or focus on the small things too much. Thank goodness I don't say it out loud, though.
 
 
 

   
I Say! Uh...
As of this morning, for the first time in my life, I have finished reading the book of Isaiah.

Unfortunately, by some curious little quirk, my Bible-retention abilities only seem to start working after about the third time of reading something.

It came to my attention recently that I'm very poorly acquainted with much of the Old Testament. Now, books of history are good. They're fun, and exciting, and sometimes there's bad stuff happening, but you can still see it all in your mind. Books of the law are really, really boring. I know I should read them and get acquainted with them to further my understanding, but boy - there's a lot of information in there, and much of it is hard to care about. I'm working on it.

Books of prophecy have kind of a goofy effect. I'm pretty well-acquainted with the New Testament, so I can now and again recognize something as, "Hey! I know when that happens! Cool!" But there's also a lot about how this kingdom will fall, and that king will be smited, and I really don't know the history as well as I should (and I also suspect that much of it isn't covered in the Bible - it is Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth, after all). So, reading about things that are going to happen, but I don't know if they've already happened, or they're going to happen, etc.

Remember the Ethiopian in the chariot, reading about the prophecies of Christ, and how he didn't understand and asked for an explanation? I'm baffled on understanding everything that DOESN'T relate to Christ. I suspect that I should locate some sort of related reading material to lend some context. Which would be fun - as long as I'm not going to be quizzed on dates later, I rather enjoy history.

So, gradually overcoming the hold of intimidation that I have regarding the Old Testament. A few years previous, we had, "It's big, it's scary, and it's boring." I still have a lot to read, and perhaps starting with the second-largest book was not the best plan, but hey, we're making progress.
 
 
   
 

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