Stressed Out @ MindSay 
stressed
Neutral -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From Stressed To Squealing
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Summer Accomplishments:
- 15 consecutive online wins (battle/face-off/pro-face-off) - GH: Aerosmith
- Completed Banjo-Kazooie: Grunty's Revenge 100% (GBA)
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I FINALLY FUCKING DID IT.
My word, that was the biggest hassle of a final boss EVER.
Banjo-Kazooie - now, I know is a very difficult game.
It starts off as a pile of piss, then randomly turns semi-impossible about halfway through.
Alright, I correct myself - it's a difficult game, which is a contrast to how kiddy and cutsey it looks. No average child would complete it fully, I assure you.
But of course, the GBA version is a LOT easier than the original N64 game.
I was surprised when I actually managed to collect all of the jigsaw pieces.
Even more surprised when I realised I'd collected all 600 music notes.
So, I felt fairly confident that I'd complete the game easily - by that, I meant easily beating the final boss.
BUT NO.
It's not ONE final boss.
It's THREE final bosses.
There's no gap between them.
If you die... YOU HAVE TO START AGAIN.
And not from the start of the level, either!
From the outside - so you have to fight your way through fireballs to get to the level switch.
This takes FIVE MINUTES.
It takes even bloody longer if you get hurt by the fire and have to go and heal.
I stayed awake until about 4AM trying to do it - then got to the point where I'd have smashed my DS, so I left it alone until about 7PM tonight - while I was on the phone to Shelly, I managed to actually do it.
I hurt her ears with my HIGH PITCHED SQUEAL OF JOY.
I seem to be doing a lot of those recently. :)
If you could insert sound clips into your blog, I'd post one of it. :D
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For some very odd reason, I've gotten myself addicted to Guitar Hero: Aerosmith.
Shelly told me that she'll use her Play.com account to order Guitar Hero: Greatest Hits for me on Saturday.
Thus, to avoid a massive Guitar Hero backlog of songs and scores - I've been finishing off careers and setlists on the lower difficulties.
I'm still nowhere near fucking finished though. Especially if I'm refusing to accept less than 100% for any songs... I'm a perfectionist, what can I say.
After I'd gotten so riled on missing on Medium - I went onto the online menu, just for the craic.
I didn't expect to find ANYBODY still playing GH:A - but I found SHITLOADS of people.
Enough to rack up 15 consecutive wins - and that was VS at least 6 different people!
I didn't even have to wait long to find matches. It was all rather odd.
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Dixie currently feels:
Neutral
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Blog #78
New Addiction!
I sometimes say that there's no point in me going into college some days.
Well today, there REALLY wasn't.
I did originally plan to do some work on my sketchbook before my Media Studies lesson - but naturally, I couldn't be arsed.
I played a few rounds of Solitaire - then got REALLY bored, so I wandered into town.
Nana had won some money on the Irish lottery - so she gave me £10.
This, along with the money I didn't spend when I took the day off last Tuesday - I went into CEX.
I did originally plan to buy Resident Evil 4 - but they only had the Wii version, and I was a few quid short.
Then I thought I'd get Manhunt 2 - but I don't look 18. I doubt they'd have asked me for ID or anything, but I are not the risky sort.
Then my eyes fell upon Bully: Scholarship Edition.
A game I've always wanted, but never really thought about.
So I bought it. :)
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I went back to college EXACTLY on time for lesson - only to find it wasn't even on.
The only lesson I had wasn't even on.
Lewis was frustrated too - and he didn't want to even wait around a few more minutes to see if Sarah did turn up. So I walked him to the bus station. I went to Home Bargains and Greedy Joe's - picked up my lunch to take back with me.
Once back - I nommed on my chosen purchases, turned on my NEW PLAYLIST and did 3 hours solid work on my sketchbook.
I was starting to get really stressed out with it, see.
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I didn't originally plan to play Bully, as I still have lots of unfinished games without starting another one.
But I thought I would.
Jeez, was it a good decision to play it. :)
IT'S FUCKING LEGENDARY.
There's shitloads of controls to learn - so many different moves you can pull off. Tons of people to interact with - all of whom blurt out RANDOM SHIT when you go past them or interact with them.
"You're gonna be pissin' blood!"
"I think Ashley likes me... Does she wanna be my girlfriend?!"
"My butt itches..."
"Wanker! WANKER!!!"
"Eww! Like, who's boyfriend is THAT?"
Alright, I admit it's quite cheesy and American - but it has its moments of hilarity. The fact it's overly violent and contains shitloads of swearing pulls me away from the cringe factor. :)
Some parts are quite challenging too.
Oh, and I reckon it's gonna take me FOREVER to complete it.
To put it into perspective - I played it for 4 hours and I got 5.67%!
It's a game with a SHITLOAD to collect... I be going for 100%... Yes I am. :)
My favourite part so far has got to be using the Wii remote to dissect animals in Biology class - especially pulling out rat's testes with tweezers. :D
I'm also doing a bit of research, to really see if I have a lot of symptoms of PTSD. Meh, we'll see. I've noticed that unfortunate memories of a recent past return to haunt me for hours upon end at night, when I'm lying in bed. I don't know how to erase them; unless I got a complete memory wipe... Half the time while I'm lying there I wish I could just get this "memory wipe" and forget about everything. But I can't. As much as I hate to accept it, it's what's helping me gain experience to continue to be empathetic and in relation to how somebody else feels. I've cried for the past few days now, but I can't tell you for what reason since I have been crying for no apparent reason.
I woke up this morning, and I grew depressed after conversing with mom how Academic English is overly difficult for my mind to handle. I might have to drop to the College level again, which will probably just discourage me.
One of my friends on an online forum I visit on a daily basis told me that "what happens is out of your hands, you're your own independent person and the respect you deserve is something you should think of getting. You sound so negative, but be positive, make new friends - and if people from your past goes off and does whatever, it's no longer your concern. It's their issue now. Don't worry about them."
My friend serves a strong point. Therefore, I'm currently going to continue leaving fragments of my past behind - and I don't care how long, or how painful, it is. I'm going to do it, even if I need aid from buddies. I need to learn how to stop being frozen in my past and I have to warm up to the future that lies ahead of me.
I have a lot of friends on that forum. And I love them all. ^^
But anyway. Not much happened today. As soon as I got at school, I felt instantly lightweight when I saw my friends by the main doors and all that.
For English tomorrow, we're going down to my school's theatre to watch a musical production my school's putting on which is called "McBraveheart". It's a parody off Macbeth, apparently. I'm awaiting it with great excitement. ^^
Musicals + Shakespeare (two of which I adore) = <3!!! :)
I've also gained a strange obsession with llama's now. XDD Thanks to "The Llama Song" (look it up on Youtube or something. XDD) And I was singing parts of it in Computer class and went out into fits of giddy laughter. But that's me for you. :)
And now... I will share a little part of it with you...
I was once a treehouse,
I lived in a cake,
But I never saw the way,
The orange slayed the rake!
LOL! XD I kept singing bits from it, and Becca thought there was something wrong with me. XD
News from... My relatives, I guess! XD Both of my cousins are now officially ENGAGED! :D I`m so happy for them!! ^^ But unfortunately, I don`t think I`ll be able to attend the wedding - since they live in Alberta. I'm only in Ontario. ^^
And the really cute news is, my cousin who has down-syndrome (he's like, 19 now or something) was asked to be the ring bearer guy for a wedding. Isn't that just cute? :)
Anyway, for school, we're getting course/option selection sheets sometime this week and we have to fill them out so the school will know what courses we want to take. I'm thinking about taking a course that has to do with studying the human mind, how it works, etc. But I don`t know. I`m going to look into it some more tonight. I`ll keep you posted, though. :)
Oh, and as you know, I`m reading Hamlet. I was scanning through certain bits and it's REALLY... Sexual. 0.o But, hey, that's Shakespeare for you! :)
But, I guess you'll just have to deal with it! >: D But don't worry, I'm not going to insert anything that seems OVERLY inappropriate. So don't worry. But really, I can't wait until I get this whole Hamlet/Ophelia POV started! :)
I sometimes wonder why I put up with people sometimes.
Right now i'm hearing so much things from other people and i'm kinda getting sick of it. So much so that i'm going to take a few breaks from gdpt for a while. I just can't stand some of the egos running through there.
One minute one person says something the next someone doesn't agree and argues and then complains. On top of that chu nien is around the corner and even more ego's and ranks are just pissing me off.
Oh and uni, on holidays but still have assignments due fuck that.
Yesterday, I was driving across the dry lake bed, and the look in my mom's eyes when we were in the ER flashed into my head. At the time, I didn't realize what was hidden in the "look". Now, I think I do and it's a painful thing for me. She knew. She knew what was going on in her legs and feet. She knew she didn't want them to do surgery to save her life. She was just waiting for them to tell me. It was the look of a woman who held a scary secret.
If I could have been there to see her in the hospital in Downey, the Dr's would have told me what was going on. Maybe I could have kept her in the hospital and the meds would have done some more good. As it was, calling on the phone is pointless because they don't have a clue who the hell you are and won't tell you anything. If my idiot father had gone in to see her instead of waiting for her to call him and say she was ready to go home... Would that Look be flashing across my mind like it is now?
DH had an abnormal EKG at the Dr last month and he went to see the Cardiologist a couple weeks ago. This week, he had a nuclear stress test. The Dr noticed something bad enough to stop the stress test before it really got going. There was something abnormal from the last one he had a couple of years ago. Of course the Dr didn't tell him what was going on, just a mention of seeing LVH. The only LVH I can think of is left ventricular hypertrophy. That can't be good. A stress test is supposed to see if there are changes from rest to exercise that indicates a blockage in coronary arteries. If they noticed something abnormal and stopped the test, I'm guessing that means he's got a blockage. I'm scared. Not knowing is almost worse than knowing. At least when you know, there is usually something being done. Nothing is being done and I'm dreading having to be in another hospital. What if something is dreadfully wrong?
My next-door neighbor is in the hospital with a possible heart attack. He's a lovely man and I hope he's OK. This is not helping my ability to think good thoughts. I have been flashing back to my feelings of helplessness when I was a child. My idiot father started off his history of heart problems at 35. He went for many years with a "bad heart" until he had triple bypass surgery when I was in HS. There was a constant awareness that he couldn't do things other dads did because of his heart. A child of 6 feels worry and disappointment that Daddy can't pick her up like other dads do. Was this where I gained my skill at worrying about everything? It's not cool to see your father huffing and puffing and popping nitro tabs. Am I to see this in my husband now?
I guess I never thought of him having cardiac problems because neither of his parents had any. Once again, I'm feeling helpless in the face of trouble for a loved one.
So, just like when I was little, I cry when no one is looking.
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