Strange Thoughts @ MindSay 
I'm going underground (going underground)...
'Tis a glorious day to enjoy the wilds of the world around me for it is not too hot nor is it too cold and there is only a slim chance for rains to force me and my laptop indoors. I wish as I usually do that I had something of importance to fill this blank canvas, but at the moment my mind has wondered off somewhere far away as I watch a wee little ant explore the wonders of my keyboard...
It has been a strange few days - the past - so strange on so many levels. I feel as if my live is coming back to the beginning again and on its way to complete another lap. Go back to the beginning is what has been circling about in my thoughts, go back. And I have to some degree. I recently submitted a resume to a company that I left 14 years ago and spent some time chatting with my old boss whose job I eventually took as he moved into another function within the company. I found a number of old friends on MySpace from roughly the same period that I had thought that I had lost forever...
This week has been almost like I have gone back in time so that I can get a chance to correct the mistakes of the past and so that I can carry on with my life. From the earth and so to the earth I shall return...
'Tis just an odd feeling that has overtaken my soul at the moment as the ant has found his way from the laptop and is now searching the table on which it sits and my stare turns towards a small fuzzy black and white spider as it searches for its daily bread - it stops and looks me in the eye, decides that I am not a threat or that I'm far too big to eat, and turns and wonders off around the junk that is piled upon this table...
Strange it is and strange it shall be as I begin another cycle in this great circle...
This is the Word of the AntiCrust...
Praise be ye who Read the Word for ye are Blessed amongst humans...
My garden's a secret compartment
And that's the way i like it...
And it is late into the night that I am typing all that I must - alone in the emptiness of solitude. And my thoughts are as empty of the darkness that surrounds me...
Lately I have been thinking that my brain has slipped off into the darkness, quietly as a cat as it stalks its prey. It has left me with nothing to occupy my days - a black hole mentality that pulls everything though nothing will ever escape. And once it becomes one with the singularity of thought, there is nothing that can bring it back to this reality. The thoughts are gone forever. I am not able to understand why this is and what has caused to light to be sucked into the void. All I know is that my mind has gone beyond the event horizon and I have no means to pull it back out for there is no force that is stronger than the grasp of the void...
There are some possible causes that I can identify though I cannot say that they are the actually cause. I have been forcing my self to think exceedingly hard on the reworking of my ancient laptop, having to reteach my brain the ways of the penguin and how it interacts with the inner workings of this remnant from the previous century. Also I have been working on a tale of epic proportions that with much luck will be published with me as a co-author...
But the one underlying cause may be the fact that I am not currently employed and I have no reason to seek a means of escape if only through my thoughts. That may be the major factor that is dragging my thought processes down - the fact that I have no need to escape for I already have. And that is an interesting thought that has not made it to the point of no return - why bother escaping when I have done so?
And so how do I return to my natural state of daydreaming when the dreams are not necessary? How do I journey to far off lands so that I can avoid doing things that I detest when there is nothing that forces me to wonder?
It is strange to think that I cannot think because my brain does not an outside stimulus to engage the thought process. It is strange indeed though it is just one of many strange things that I have uncovered about my brain over these many years...
This is the Word of the AntiCrust...
Praise be ye who Read the Word for ye are Blessed amongst humans...
I'm floating a little high this morning. Don't worry, it's not because of any illegal chemical usage. Hehe, it's perfectly legal. Actually, I got my wisdom teeth out Thursday and I've been on two painkillers and anti-biotics all weekend. I can't say I'm crazy about Hydrocodone... It makes me act really strange and dizzy and super drowzy. The worst part was I thought I was acting more or less normal. Now I know what it must feel like to be drunk. Ick, I'm avoiding that feeling forever. I've never liked not being in control of my actions, feelings, or thoughts.
On the other hand my cheeks are huge and have caused quite a few memorable reactions at school today. My compadre, Mike saw me and flipped. Not literally, mind you, but his eyes got really big and he exclamed, "Holy [poop], what happened to your face!!?" Hehe, oh that Mike... We also told my friend Jake that there was nothing wrong with my face. I told him there was nothing wrong with it, or at least there hadn't been when I got up this morning. I'm pretty sure we got him to doubt his sanity right up to the point that Mike came along and ruined it all. Ah, good times...
I didn't make it to work on Saturday though. Oh sure, everybody I asked said I'd probably be well enough to work 10-6:30 pm Saturday. Yeah right. I was so out of it I could have walked in front of a bus and not noticed! Stupid soft foods... I know that has nothing to do with the previous statements, but I wanted to make it clear to everyone reading this that I hate soft foods now. I want pizza and a burger and a free Jr. Frostee from Wendy's with a straw! Oh yeah, and quesadillas. My teeth hurt like someone just dug into my gumbs with a scalpel and extracted four pea-sized pieces of bone. Wait, they did. Crap...
Okay, it's time to... go find something else to do. I want to email my girlfriend but I can't. That's okay. I'm doing pretty good on that front. I'm reading some books and I've certainly been busy this weekend with other things. Stupid weather. It's going to get nice and warm outside and I'm going to start getting sad about not taking walks with A. I'll get through it though. I'm strong! I'm a survivor! I have chipmunk cheeks! Anyway, I hope she's doing well too. I'm going to go read some Bible now.
God bless,
David W.