Store Manager @ MindSay

Before I start blabbing about myself. My thoughts and prayers are to anyone who are having floods, tornados all over the place in the midwest and more. Especially those boyscouts, my prayers are to those parents when they got hit. That's such a crushing blow. Started talking about one of the kids who would make pillows for the hospitals and what not, man that hurts so much. If this is all you read of this entry, I'm still content that you at least read this part. Everything after this is a lot of stuff that has been happening for the past two plus months. So if you guys really want to know whats going on please ocntiue to read if you want to check up on me ^_^.

You guys know how much I work. I work at Gamestop, a game store you all probably somewhat heard of. As of lately they had changed our managers three times. And this last manager I am not getting use to at all. My personality and what not isn't working with this guy. And that's really hard to do. Plus with them changing managers so much on us, that the kids haven't been able to get use to this guy either, so everyone's having a rough time. When I saw that they were changing managment for the third time. It was with a person I haven't heard about or don't know. The one thing that went through my head is, crap gotta start over we just got use to this one, and they're sending some srt spy. So pretty much I felt like I was going to be targeted. I told all the guys at work to be careful of what they do. I know these guys too long, and also before Jenifer left she hired every single one of these people. So I know they're good and if caught stealing or whatever she would have all their heads. Jen took a lot of precaution on hiring people, she was the tough one while I  was the nice one. So I pretty much told them not to get in trouble. But I just had this bad feeling.

So that bad feeling starting coming true. I could tell this new manager didn't trust any of us, and why finding mising stuff. Which is understandable at that point, but I'll put my full trust in all those kids, most have worked with me for over a year or ever since I've been there. Plus I'm there at the store too much, there's no way they would get around me. So just as of recent watching the new manager, he's only been working for the company 6 months, and I'm like that's not a good idea for this store since we're such a big rich area as well. And that this guy cannot count or know how to really look up stuff. So no wonder whenever he's looking for something he's always missing something. The past couple days I've been finding a lot of stuff that he said was missing.

Yeah there's no way this is going to work out well. We started having meetings, to make sure everyone is on the same page. Of course I was still trying to figure out this guy plan so I didn't say much, the kids ask questions here and there. And our district manager was there and what not. So we talked about our performances and reviews for each person. So I had mine and the biggest thing that flagged to me was that I was actually getting some blame, which is perfectly fine, but didn't happen after almost 3 years of working here. Somethings wrong. So basically they wanted me to go on vacation and was wondering if I still wanted to work, and I was like, umm I wasn't there to think about work on my vacation and what not. That's what vacation is @_@. That also occurred to me that they were trying to find out something. First point blank I told myself, they're really trying to see if I'm affecting the store and stealing. So my district manager was wondering why I wasn't helping out this new manager better and kept saying I had a lot of experience. True I do, first I was like yea I feel like crap that we are treating him bad, but I didn't have that feeling about him. And that's very rare for me to treat anyone like this. So I told them I didn't have the right training, which I didn't from DAY ONE on working here. There was only 4 people working this job when I started. And I was doing things higher than most people in that position. My store would get the calls because no one else would know what they're doing so I had to do it.

Second meeting. okay this really started to piss me off. The store wasn't getting fixed or whatever. So my review on the guy sucked. I hate managers who don't do anything. Yes supposely they're suppose to be in the background but this is a game store, so you have to help fix it, because there's millions of kids that come in. The good thing is that it wasn't the kids that bother me. It was just him. And seeing how shipment when he was there wasn't getting done, I've never seen him do anything. But how do you react or tell your own boss to get to work? but yeah he sucks and doesn't deserve that job. But as in this second meeting district manager comes to me again, and I'm like alright this seems like a good time and finally it's an opening. I give my two weeks in. Told them I wasn't fit to be an assistant manager. I only moved to being that poistion because I was already doing everything an assitant manager would be doing and since we were also understaff through 2 1/2 years. And there was never really anytime to train once Jen was gone. She whipped everyone into shape. And I know she was thankful for me because I would have quit a while back but I knew she needed the help and she's a good friend of mine. And Joe-e the manager that came in next, I wasn't going to leave him during Christmas time, and we ended up being a good team, than they took him back to wherever and put this new guy here. But yeah I never had true training and I did everything by the seat of my pants, and the factor that brought me down was that I was more customer service than actual selling everything in sight. This dude's a good seller, but no personality. And it's already screwed me and the rest of team over sooo many times.

So I'm quitting Gamestop, if I would have made it to August it would have been almost 3 years since I worked for that company. I'm just happy I was able to get out. Of course I'm worried that I'm jobless, but that was only my second job. Meaning I don't just quit and what not, so I should be able to get a new job hopefully. Also most of the kids are graduating from highschool so they'll be moving on and what not. I'll miss all the people I've met and I met a ton of people and made a lot new friends, and watched a lot of little kids grow up in front of my eyes. Monday will be my last day there June 16th. God you should see how many mom's gasps and don't want me to leave. A lot of the kids gave me hugs or high fives or handshakes. I tell them because I known them for a long time and that a lot of them come to see me. That's all they ask is where I am lol. Had a mom come in yesterday she was on the phone, already knew who she was she said maybe three words and I knew what she needed. She just laughed and smiled, "I love you Rory!" and I'm like haha thankyou I think I knew that ^_^.

So yeah I'll miss the place, but I'm probably won't ever talk to that manager, because it seems like everytime I wasn't there he would harrass all the team trying to find out anything about me. First of all there really wasn't anything to find out, I don't need to steal from a damn game store, I'm not desperate and it's already hard enough being black and getting judge on that too you know. So a lot of team feels bad because they think they said things they shouldn't have unless it was ok with me. All they said was that I was tired and looked a bit burned out, and that I was talking about getting back into school. So they think they cost me my job, and they didn't but yea that manager did put me in a spot to where I need to get out, if I could have made it through the summer I would have quit right at 3 years. I do hope all my guys will be alright I told everybody but Lauren I haven't been able to hang out with her yet, but she'll be the most devastated one. I think we're all leaving sometime soon. And then I totally forgot about my best friend Graham, he's still in Japan, when he comes back the day I quit so he won't know what's happening lol whoops! So I have no idea what I'll be doing, I do have a bit of money saved up, I hope I'll be okay. But yeah I really need to get out of there. I wasn't loving videogames as much anymore, and that tells me that I'm not being myself. So pray for me on that!!

Well anyways that's a lot and I still have so much more coming. I told you about my ex Kim. We've been broken up since the end of Janurary, we were still seeing each other off and on. And now she got back with her ex just recently. She liked him more than me which sucked but there's nothing I can really do. But just as of recently, we haven't been getting along as much. The problem here is that I've been causing her to feel bad and what not. And I'm like feeling like crap, I mean I haven't been in a relationship for a long time but I didn't think I would be this bad, even outside of one. I never had ANY trouble with an ex NEVER!!!! This is the first time.

So I end up being the problem/ bad guy and she doesn't want to talk as much now. Why does this feel like we're breaking up again. It wasn't a heavy blow at first, until later, I was pretty mad because I can't beleieve she did that. Yeah it's probably or is my fault for all the things that happen. But to pretty much lose a friendship as well. Isn't that a bit overboard. Sure I don't like her ex as much, but it's like she hasn't considered my feelings and I just told her the truth and what was on my mind. There's a lot of things I did wrong but to have them come back like this was like okay. And I'm not even with her, I broke up wit her because I already thought I was the problem. So how did this get bad to even worse!? She was probably one of the only girls that I hung out with too. and that sucks now she doesn't really want anything to do with me. I don't know how I'm going to react to her IMing, I'm going to practically get pissed off because it still pisses me off. And it's like I can't talk about my feelings, even if she would let me, she still didn't understand them enough that I still ended up on the bad side of things. So she calls me back being mad at me when I just told her what was on my mind, but she didn't want to hear anything about me she just wanted just this one thing answered. Talk about Damn!!!

And then just recently, been hanging out with another girl friend of mine, she nearly burned down her apartment, had to fix everything when I got there. She was just flipping out. We talked a bit, have to admit she was smoking hot that day too. I really do like her and started talking to her, but now I haven't gotten a call back in  like a week and half. So I screwed that up somehow. So I clled her again just recently and just apologized for all the stuff I did. Relationships are just not for me it seems. I just suck at them, and piss every girl off so I should give up on this. So I've actually have started deleting numbers out of my cell phone. I mean what do I do with relationships now.  just don't feel comfortable, and it seems I can't tell anybody about myself practically. Kim was asking to know about me, but whenever I would, I mean I'm pretty crazy so like crazy things, she totally lost interested or doesn't want to talk. So I can't be true to myself like that but guess it wasn't enough.

Thanks for all who's reading this, this was really long but all this was built up and I could actually sit here and type so much because I had so much on my mind and heart.

And Cal was there to watch it as well, I transitioned from giggling directly into crying, tears rolling down my face...holy crap, that is the most extreme mood swing I've had in my life...Cal said maybe I should call in today, but I wonder exactly what I would say...that I'm sick?  Mentally unstable?  These hormones are throwing me for a loop, :(

I'm afraid that I'll cry at work again in front of a manager...that was rather embarrassing, there is only one girl manager to speak of, and she's not a manager over my departments...ugh.