Stevens Point @ MindSay

It was only a week ago that I was blessed to receive a wonderful visit from Rebekah and Josh. I'm not quite over their absence! It was dreamlike how we all got along so well. It's been so long since I've had company, that when I finally had it again, it was a race to do all the things I've wanted to do with guests ever since I moved into my little forest side apartment several years ago. I remember when I moved in foreseeing where and how I'd entertain guests. But I don't get out much and don't have much to entertain with, lucky for me I have friends who love to talk and share their lives with me. Visiting with Rebekah, Josh, and Savannah was a real breath of fresh air that cleared up the loneliness in my home. Even my cat, Mr. Snuggles, warmed up to everyone and acted the official greeter at my door. I have to have guests over more often and I have to travel again to meet more of my special friends.



I feel very blessed to have such interesting and talented friends. Here's a little break down of the lovely visit we had last weekend:



I watched WAITING while WAITING for friends

First, I wasn't sure if they were coming. We had discussed over and over again organizing a visit. On the scheduled day of their arrival, Josh told me that they'd be leaving or arriving (I wasn't sure which) at 11am. Me being the lazy girl I am, put off some minor housecleaning that Saturday, so I go up at 8am to put the finishing touches on my place. Then 11am came and went. By the time it got to be 1pm, I put in a dvd and snacked on a few hotdogs. The movie I watched was Waiting  which was very timely considering I was watching Waiting while waiting for my friends to arrive! I didn't even realize I was making a funny until Josh pointed it out once they were in my living room.



I am tucked away behind those ugly Village Apartments

By 2pm I paused Waiting to answer the phone. I debated picking up because my father had been calling me asking for money. But these days we is all broke! I didn't have to despair too long because on the other line was Josh's quiet, thoughtful voice telling me they were in town trying to figure out which apartment complex I was in. They had parked right in front of apartments I once lived in when I was a freshmen in college. Apartments that hadn't changed since the time I lived in them 18 years ago! So I just walked across the street and showed them, on foot, where to go. It was amazing to finally recieve warm hugs from Rebekah. It was as if we'd always known each other. Sure, we've been blog friends on Mindsay for five years, but you never know how a face-to-face meeting is going to go until, well, until you're right there face-to-face! The strongest sense I got from Rebekah is that we're sisters. Her scent, her voice, her laugh... so familiar to me. I wasn't sure if Josh and Savannah were going to warm up to me, but I was soon to discover I had nothing to worry about.



My apartment complex is a little weird. Each building is a little hut or hobbit-like dwelling with each apartment on a sort of pie wedge. I absolutely love it because living there is like living in a cabin. Located right next to the university's nature reserve, it's as close as I can get to living like I'm camping 24/7! Rebekah and entourage seemed to be right at home at my home.



We were old friends meeting for the first time

I felt a little self conscious, so I went firstly into tour guide mode. First exploring my little place, letting them play with Mr. Snuggles (who really soaked up their attention!), and then we were off for downtown where I introduced them to my friend Dala (who owns a really cool imported goods store where I do the window displays and signs) and got to show off some nice antique buildings. Every small city has little hidden away details only I seem to pick up on. It was great to spend time with people who knew "my language" which was the architectural terminology and art history references. I don't always talk like I'm reading from a book but occasionally I've had to explain what I'm talking about. No need to explain anything with Rebekah and Josh.



Biggest regret: I wasn't able to record the visit on my camera!

The only sad thing was I wasn't able to be Rebekah's photography buddy that day. It wasn't my fault and couldn't be fixed right away. All my photo memory cards were full and, after some trail and error, we discovered that my digital camera is out of date and only takes 1GB memory cards. Oh, no! Rebekah and I did our best to find a place nearby that carried a card my camera would take, but no such luck. Only 2GB cards are sold now and we didn't have a lot of time to go searching for long. They still gave me a cheap 2GB card anyway in the hopes we could go clicking away together another day. Days later I discovered that I have to upgrade my camera to take 2GB or more memory cards. However, poor me doesn't have the software available and I can't download anything onto the university library computers, so needless to say, until I can get on someone else's computer to do so, I have to wait for this upgrade.



In the meantime, Rebekah was the main photographer. She took pix of silly me standing in front of some lovely buildings. I also made sure she explored the Fox Theatre where Houdini once performed regularly back in the early 20th century. Back then it was known as the Fox Opera House. You can still see the original designs on the building, a theatre long out of use since 1985. It is now a giant house of bats. Several colonies of bats subsist in this place. I used to walk downtown late at night to catch sight of those bats. They're wonderful! But we didn't see any bats on this visit.



Food warms the heart

It is always hard for me to decide where to eat with friends. Food is one thing that can bind people together. My other regret was I had no money or resources to fix a meal or potluck with my guests. I don't cook often, but it's one of those things I love to do when I have company. It's all part of that sharing process. I don't even though if I'm a good cook, but I try. Perhaps it's best we went out to eat! There are some cute little places in Stevens Point to eat at. One of my favorites is the Gyro and Kabob House where you can sit down on cushions and eat with your hands. My other favorite places are Green Tea (a lovely Chinese/South Asian restaurant where they serve free homemade green tea with your meal) and The Wooden Chair (an antique place that serves the best breakfast and lunch in town). Walking past The Wooden Chair, Josh thrilled to seeing an antique bike hanging up on the wall inside. There is so much more inside! Too bad they were only open for breakfast and lunch, closed by 2pm. Maybe next visit we'll indulge. Inside we ended up in another place I love called Guu's on Main. Guu's twenty years ago was once The Unique but after a few name and owner changes over the years, they still serve fantastic gourmet sandwiches and burgers that won't take too big of a bite out of your budget. Stepping into the bar is a little like stepping back in time as well. The walls are filled with old advertisements and movie posters, my favorite being a vintage STRIPES poster with a young Bill Murray posing as a smug Uncle Sam gazing affectionately at two innocent women.



In between bites, Rebekah, Josh, and I talked about nostalgia -- all the things we like we have in common and it was so nice to have that comraderie! The dinner we had refreshed my spirit as well as my stomach, but I was so excited around them, just so bubbling with happiness, it sat in my chest and lower back painfully. I had to remember to breathe more often, too. We were talking miles in minutes. You know how it is to try to get out as much talk as possible in a short amount of time? That's what our visit together was like. A race to get out all our words and share as much as possible before the inevitable parting of ways.



I hear her voice and start to run into the trees

We next headed for the woods. Darkness was fast stretching over us like an old dog hounding us. In the sunset light of deepest dusk, we walked through the trees and talked about ghosts, supernatural creatures, and other fond monsters we've met in our dreams. Our forest walk was special. Even the misquitoe bites we got were a small price to pay for exposing ourselves to the green. The moon was full and gold, like a big coin deposited in the sky, so big and seemingly so near, we could've reached up and grabbed it. Rebekah got as close to Lake Joanis as possible to record the Moon rise at the surface of the water. In the dark I saw her sink down to the shore beyond the tall grass and cattails. While Josh and I talked with Savannah, eventually we got a little worried. "Did you fall in, Rebekah?" Nope. She popped her little head up almost like a swan or human-maiden-shaped Loch Ness Monster and hopped back up to us on land, camera in hand.



Things I forgot to mention!

Before all of our little adventures, we exchanged gifts. Just a few little things I've been too forgetful to send out in the mail, of course. I gave Rebekah and Savannah two homemade paper journals that I decorated with glitter. I also gave them a book called "Lydia Cassatt Reading the Morning Paper" by Harriet Scott Chessman. It's a book I found to be of great comfort. Artists aren't just about their art, they have family and friends who influence what they do. One of my favorite and influential artists is Mary Cassatt -- her prints, drawings, paintings... so personal and emotional to me. I loved reading about the relationship she had with her sister. I hope Rebekah gets a kick out of it as well. There are so many stories behind each painting... and so many imagined. Oh, I can image if we all ever took a trip to an art gallery or museum we'd have ourselves a grand ol'time.



Rebekah gave me this lovely bright neon fuschia nail color. I put it on the Sunday after their visit and is shown in the photographs above. It lasted for a whole week before beginning to chip. It dried faster than my usual OPI nail laquers. The color was awesome. I'll wear it out again eventually! For now I have more conservative color on called "I'll Take the Cake" by OPI -- it is a sugar rose pink beige, fairly sheer, but really brings out the white parts of my nails in a way that reminds me of a French manicure. However, since I've been short on cash, at the end of this week I also ran out of nail polish remover, so there are still a few fuschia bits underneath the sheer sugar rose color, like little bits of lipstick smear that are just enough to remind me of Rebekah's gift!



All in all, it was wonderful to experience these people offline, to take walks, to talk long talks, and dream of travelling to visit and meet other friends on or off Mindsay. It was also a reassurance that I'm not alone in the world, that there are plenty of souls out there who are of a like-mind. We are all related in one way or another and, therefore, must be excellent to each other!



Love you all.

Here's a song that reminds me of the pleasant journey we had:


  


I know everything about you,

You know everything about me,

Know everything about us

from EMPIRE OF THE SUN, We Are the People

I was recently asked by an old friend how my college town is like these days.  It's been eight years since my pal, Diana, has lived here and when she moved in a hurry back to Milwaukee due to a family crisis, I was left without one of the best and most loyal friends I've ever had.  Over the last eight years we've lost and regained contact, but the good ol' days when we all would gather in the little yellow house where she lived with her roomies, Jen and Justin and their three cages of rats, are gone.  Answering her question about how Point is like without her here, is a bitter sweet task.  Where do I start?  I think I'll start when I moved back to Stevens Point myself, but, now that I think of it, I might as well just start from the VERY beginning.

A quick look back:  Milwaukee, Wisconsin has always been, and always will be, my birthplace, my home town, the one city I can never escape from in my mind, the place I both love and worry about, somewhere that is deeply a part of me.  Going as far back as 1987, the year I had to leave my beloved city after the death of my Aunt Sandy and my family made an attempt to be closer again, my new home was a tiny hamlet called Almond, and the closest city that could really be considered a city, was Stevens Point.  It's no wonder I ended up attending the University of Wisconsin there.  The 1990's for me was a sort of golden age where I really learned to be myself and be surrounded by a lovely assortment of characters, not all of which I got along with all the time making for some needless drama. 

When I met Diana, it was during one of those times I wasn't getting along with folks.  This was the spring of 1996, I had been wasting a lot of time on children's playgrounds with the Comic Art Society.  We had gone from spending our time hanging out at the fine arts building to going out to play with our youngest member, Becky.  I was frustrated at the time because my best friend, BJ, was no longer spending as much time with me and even the rest of the guys in the group seemed to all be under Becky's spell.  I couldn't relax because I was starting to feel like the only "grown up" in the group, and no matter what I did to impress "the guys" and try to fit in, it seemed the more I was being given the boot out.  No one was talking to me as often.  I was lonely and sad, unable to join in on their fun.

It was the perfect time for Diana to step into my life.

But first we were catty to one another.  Di was friends with Becky and it was Becky who first introduced us.  I thought Diana seemed superficial.  She invited us to go to the local grocery store as another child-like, fun thing to do and "harass" the poor clerks who had to work there so late at night.  My heart sank.  Didn't anyone appreciate that the poor clerks who work at grocery stores late at night have to constantly put up with dumbasses who are bored and have nothing better to do late at night?  By the time we get to the store, I was fed up and expressed it at Di and Becky.  I don't remember what I said, I do remember wanting what I had to say to be profound and not necessarily solely for my comic art buddies to give me attention, but as I walked away, determined that this was the final straw, I was immediately followed by Diana and BJ.  I couldn't express very articulately what I was feeling at the time, and even though BJ did his best to express his concern over my anger, Di understood exactly what I was going through without me saying anything much more at all.  From that moment on, we were like sisters. 

Why my old best friend was top tits:  Diana wasn't superficial at all, but she could be a fabulous, playful, entertaining silly-voiced tease.  One minute she'd be dancing around the room with an air freshner singing a Winnie-the-Pooh song, the next she'd be on the floor hugging her pillow and talking seriously about work, politics, or the future.  Underneath her seemingly fluffy goofball exterior was a woman who was a deep thinker and a deadly serious compassionate lady who demanded respect.  She's the kind of friend who isn't afraid to tell you exactly what she thinks and is the first to defend you when you start to put yourself down.  You can cut loose with her and laugh so hard you'll lose your breath, but you can also cry on her shoulder and talk about all the boyfriends who broke your heart.  I had always wanted someone I can chill out with like that, but most of my best friends were boys who usually dumped me as soon as they started dating someone.  Di knew the score.  She was surrounded by a bevvy of gay guy friends who often dropped her at the first sight of a free blow job.  We were too young at the time to know that the key to being a guy's best friend, gay or straight, was to let them go chase their tail of choice, but we never let them go without a fight.  Why should they chase anyone else when they had two beautiful buxom women at home?

Our favorite thing to do was Tarot reading.  Since I was the professional, I was constantly harassed by our mutual friends for readings, but Diana got to be the first to be read because she was my best friend and both of us would not take any interruptions lightly.  One sorry ass pal of ours, JD, had the nerve to try to engage me in a lengthy conversation about my "philosophy" regarding reading the future, or some such nonsense.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, THAT'S MY PHILOSOPHY!"  Di lashed out at JD to get him to back off.  I remember this one still little moment of shocked silence.  Diana knew how to put someone in their place.  As we fought not to giggle at him, he melodramatically got up and left the house, slamming the door with a meek little "fuck you, Di" as he left us to our inevitable explosion of laughter.

How things changed and why I had to leave Point, too: I'll never forget the day Di called to tell me her brother was sick.  I was taking an afternoon shower and just about to towel off when the phone rang, I couldn't get to it right away and let the machine take the message.  Di was on the other line letting out a pitiful squeak of grief that crescendoed into a full on weep fest.  I ran naked and dripping wet to answer her cry.  "Just come over, Val!"  She was beyond able to clearly talk.  I slipped my clothes on in a blur and ran to her house.  When I got there, I found her in the middle of packing and she barely had the energy to tell me what was wrong.  I helped her pull things together.  We shared a few cigarettes on the porch that had long been our little place to vent at the world. 

Within less than a month, her brother wasn't given long to live and Diana moved back to Milwaukee to be there for him and her family.  I was helpless in the wake of this tragedy.  I couldn't be there, right there, next to her to give my support.  I was stuck in the void that was Stevens Point.  Di wasn't the only one who had moved away.  More of our mutual pals disappeared or didn't care to continue contact.  Everyone had something going on in their lives that was taking them away from me.  Only I seemed to have nothing going on.  It was also hard to keep in contact with Di.  She wasn't the kind of person who was on a computer all the time and calling her on the phone wasn't always possible.  When her baby brother died, it also marked an incredible change in both our lives.  It was the time we really became grown ups.

Milwaukee, there and back to Point again: After a series of emotional breakdowns, I searched the internet for a new best friend.  I found Andrew.  Inspired by love and adventure, and the chance to see Di again, I moved back to Milwaukee on a wing and a prayer.  Became homeless during the summer of 2001, worked as a psychic reader on the street, slept outside, met a lot of freaky people under bridges, became known as "the High Priestess of George Webb's" for the immense amount of time I spent doing readings there late at night entertaining drunks, and was hopelessly in love with Andrew to the point where he was all I could talk about.  Needless to say, I think I also lost my mind and was so busy floating around like a spirit in flight, I couldn't often visit with Diana.  We managed to get together a few times for "calories" (our idiom for eating out), but by the time we both had real world jobs, we were separated into two distant parts of the city.

Come September 2004, and another trip to the hospital that would land me back into the lap of my family and force me to move back to Stevens Point, I was diagnosed with type 2 bi-polar disorder and a severe intestinal infection that almost killed me (I had spent another a few months homeless in Milwaukee and lived off dumpster scraps, that kind of eating is dangerous).  Once recovered from the infection and soon recieving medication that kept me dizzy, I had to struggle to survive and keep awake enough to keep a part-time managerial job at a bargain book store.  By that time, a few months later I started this blog as a means to showcase my art and keep a journal where I could invite old friends (and new) to write to me.

What Stevens Point is like now:  Skip ahead to 2008, I find myself still very much isolated from old friends.  My closest companion is my cat, Mr. Snuggles, who fills my world with so much joy, I could do a head spin right now just thinking about him.  My other companion has been my younger brother.  Despite the many times he and I argue, we get along long enough to emotionally and financially support each other when the chips are down.  He gets annoyed with me begging him to go out.  Mark is far more reclusive than I could ever be and he enjoys his aloneness, but unlike me he has far more friends in town still, and those who aren't still in Point manage to call him often to begg him, like I do, to go out and have some fun.

Being mentally ill has distracted me from making new friends in Point and makes things awkward for me when I run into old friends who still live here who ask me, "What happened to you?" and "What are you up to?"  When I came back to Stevens Point, it was surreal.  Besides a lot of old friends long gone, several other friends I once had have prospered.  During my four years of illness and homelessness, I missed out on their artwork, stories, laughter, hugs...  In Stevens Point I am distracted also by memories.  Places have changed, new buildings erected at the university, and the shopping has become difficult due to most stores moving out eastward instead of staying centralized downtown.  My usual place to haunt has been downtown.  Stevens Point downtown is quaint and cozy.  But the mall is dead.  It's so dead, actually, that it's undead.  Filled with old people who use the area to walk in circles as a form of exercise.  Old people and empty stores.  Only thing keeping the mall undead is JC Penny's, Bath & Body Works, and ShopKo.  It's sad.

But there is hope.  After so many stores closed and people preferring to do their shopping at Wal-Mart, a friend of mine, Dala, opened up her own imported goods store downtown.  Dala has been a ray of light over here, keeping the dream of the speciality store alive and I help her out as much as I can, volunteering here so that I can have an excuse to get out and be around people.

I still don't have a computer at home.  I'm on disability and can't afford it, so I still make the long walk to the university to use their facilities.  The quiet and solitude comes with a great advantage for me -- I have plenty of space and uninterrupted time to work on my art and use my talents to reach out to the larger world out there.  Out of the dark comes beauty.  Despite being lonely or occasionally bored, I am generally happy to be free of a lot of the emotional pain and anxiety attacks I used to suffer years ago.

Right now, flakes of snow are flying past the windows.  I never cease to be amazed at the beauty of this place I live in.  I am pleased to be next to nature and still have the convenience of downtown, but I miss my friends more than anything.

So, Diana, to answer your question: Point is lovely, but lonely.  I miss you!

I had fun with my nephews and my brother yesterday.  Normally on Summer Solstice I'd be deeply meditating somewhere, but this year I decided to get out into the sun.  We took a long nature walk at Schmeeckle Reserve where we tried to identify wild herbs and sat for awhile in the marshland where the boys were surprised to see lots of tree frogs.  I hadn't been to the reserve in a long while.  I've been too absorbed in my own worries about moving to really enjoy nature lately, so this was a great break.  As you can see in the photos above, the boys love to play up to my camera.  Depsite my brother's bitching, taking photos of the kids is great fun.  If you're ever in Stevens Point, the reserve is the best place to relax, go for a run, or bike along the Green Circle Trail.  At various points in the reserve, there are wooden plaques decorated with quotes from several naturalists.  Look at little Nick next to one by Aldo Leopold.  That could be a postcard!  As usual, I had a hard time getting him to sit still for that photo.  Later getting back home, I took a few videos of both the boys (I'll post those later).  I'm especially intrigued by the one I took of Josh eating a Cheeto while Nick looks angry behind him -- there's a story buried in that moment.  My brother took the picture of me shielding my face -- that looks like I'm trying to cast some sort of evil spell.  Moments after that photo was taken I hit him with an empty water bottle.  The chalk drawing of "I love U" was done by a neighbor kid.  Posting that just before the sunset at the Point water tower I felt was fitting for the nice day we had.

 

So, how was your first day of summer?

This is the view from downtown Stevens Point, Wisconsin this afternoon -- short blasts of ice and snow slowly building up into howling crescendos of pure artic fury.  I saw the wind change from kindly "snake" patterns of drifting snow to full bodied blasts that slap your face no matter what direction you try to walk into to avoid the wind.  Even with my face mostly covered, I could've done better with some goggles to shield my eyes. 

 

I feel like the snow just ate right through me and what I really want to do is take a long bath and drink hot cocoa.  My only problem is that I have a toothache -- the gums around my wisdom tooth on my right side seems to have gotten infected somehow.  All night long I heard the wind howl and my tooth hurt with that itchy kind of pain that often accompanies a gum infection.  I can't afford to go to a dentist, so I've been administering Anbesol to numb the pain.  It's not a throbbing pain, just an inflamed, itchy kind of pain that distracts me from eating and drinking anything warm.

 

Of course it would be just my luck to have tooth pain right during a snow storm!

 

And for those of you following this blog, I did finally get some toilet paper, but couldn't buy it Tuesday night because the nearest store was out of the four packs of TP.  So first I grabbed as much as I could from the public restroom, then I realized I could just use a box of tissue for the time being, and waited til Wednesday.  Wednesday seemed to be the best time for everyone in town to stock up on, not just toilet paper, but on everything else under the sun in preparation for the big storm.  Since I didn't have enough dollars to spend on some mega 24 pack of toilet paper, I made a stock boy run into the back room to grab me just a simple, single person, enough to wipe one ass for one month size (a four pack of 2 ply) supply of Scotty tissue.  Then I was forced to wait in an express lane (no less) for twenty minutes to buy the damn thing.

 

At least my bottom is happy now.

 

I'm not looking forward to going home in this mess tonight, however.

 

Oh, and last night on the way home I spotted a gray fox making his way across the street.  I almost thought it was a cat, but its head was too big and the tail too puffy.  As I stared at it I made a cute little "cooing" noise to attract its attention, it turned to look at me -- yep, that's when I knew it was not a cat, but a fox -- then it got frightened and took off like hell.  It looked skinny and hungry.  Poor thing.  I think it's not just the birds who have a hard time finding food during a blizzard!

I got promoted today! My pay isn't increasing, but I am getting five and a half more hours a week and my hours will be 8:30-4:30 rather than my current 10:30-5:30. That will make life so much easier for me seeing as I won't be wanting to go to bed as soon as I walk in the door. Plus, driving the twenty minutes it takes to get between home and work will be better because it won't be super dark when I drive thru deer country!