Dixie currently feels:
Jealous 
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This blog is for my fellow bespectacled counterparts. 
All of the specky, visually impaired, short-sighted, blind-as-a-bat, four-eyed geeks like myself.
All of those with 20/20 vision, or contact lenses - you won't understand. 
Of course, wearing glasses gives you the impression that you're intelligent.
The nerds of the world spend their time sat at computers, reading books, playing video games - our eyes are damaged, so we're forced to wear these discs of refracting glass on our faces.
And, there's the bonus of being able to look straight ahead in a blizzard or gale - and not having to squint.
But then, there's the walking in the rain.
- Glasses don't come with windscreen wipers, and they SHOULD.
There's the swimming.
- It's pretty damn impossible to see the other side of the pool without them, for most, so stay out of our lane.
There's the general rough and tumble of the day.
- I've had mine knocked off my face by about four different clumsy people now.
The first one happened the day after I got them!
And of course, you'd have to remove them in a mosh pit.
I've knocked mine off myself many a time by forgetting to take them off before I slammed on a bit of Rammstein.
But don't forget - the worst possible thing about glasses...
LOSING THEM ON YOUR HEAD.
Seriously!
The world all laugh - when we're looking for them, they're balanced on our head.
"Where are they?" - we wail.
"I can't see without them!" - we panic.
Eventually, we're told that they're on our head.
And that's when you feel like an idiot - and you may even blush.
Mine steam up when I blush.
As well as coming in from the cold weather outside - there! Another downside! Steaming up!
For all of you non-bespectacled people...
When they're on our head... We don't feel them!
They're very light. They're designed to be.
They're comfortable too - they get fitted to the shape of our heads.
It's just like when you're wearing a cap, or a hairband. You don't realise it's there after a while.
Spare us the humiliation and the panic, two-eyed people of the world.
Just tell us where they are, please.
"Hmmm... I don't know! Where DID I put them...?"
